With Respect to Generations that Came Before Us:

I like to consider myself the kind of girl who doesn't get too easily "annoyed", I like to try to keep my wits about me, keep calm and NOT let things get to me, but lately, there's been something that has really pushed me over the edge....

IT ALL STARTED the other night while watching the UFC fights with Jerimy.  Which any of you who have watched UFC fights know that the commercials and advertising are all geared toward men....their most obvious audience.  Well, there was a particular Energy drink company that was one of the major sponsors of  these fights and they must of played their commercial 100 times during the course of the evening.  But that's not what drives me insane....not seeing the same commercial 100 times, it's what the commercial said that literally makes me CRINGE!

Now before I tell you WHAT was said, I want to explain WHY what was said annoys me so much.  Have you guys ever seen the movie "Idiocracy"?  if not, here's the premise of the movie:

Luke Wilson takes part in an experiment where he's frozen and wakes up 500 years later into a world populated by dumb people.  The theory being that as our world turns, our population is breeding "intelligence" out and dumb people eventually will be the only ones left inhabiting the earth.

So when Luke Wilson arrives on the scene, he's deemed the smartest person alive.  It's not the premise of the movie that bothers me so much as the idea that it might hold some truth that has me up in arms.

You see, in the movie, they stopped drinking water and only drank this Gatorade substance, water was only used in toilets.  Everyone spoke this strange dummed down version of English, people's names were product endorsements and everyone was so stupid it didn't occur to them to mind.

Here, watch this:

ok, now that you've watched that, watch this:

Is it just me, or is there a striking resemblance between the two videos?

I'm sorry, but every single time I hear "it's got electrolytes", I CRINGE!

We got tired of saying "how are you" so we changed it to "sup"?  Really?

It's ok that we say "sup" but should we be proud of it?

I get that it's supposed to be ironic, I get that it's a gimmick and not to be taken seriously, and the commercial does, what it's supposed to, get people talking about a product, which is exactly what I'm doing right now, but man, every time I hear "it's got electrolytes", it's like nails on a chalkboard and it makes me worried, that Idiocracy was on to something.

Think about how people used to speak, with very proper English, everything was formal including people's clothing.  Now fast forward to the present....we're saying 'sup' and wearing pants BELOW our butts and sometimes never get dressed at all, just wear our Pajama's everywhere.  Our Ancestors are probably rolling over in their graves at the way we've allowed our society to slide into such a state of indifference.

I believe in individualism, I believe in self expression, I believe in humans being human and experimenting and creating, evolving....but what happens when our society has no standards, no cares, nothing to strive for, nothing to live up to, and nobody to change the trend?

This concerns me.  Where are we headed?

Not trying to be preachy or anything, I don't think I'm smarter than anyone, I don't think I'm better than anyone, I just think there's a lot to be said about where we come from, and I think we owe it to ourselves to keep standards high, to preserve the English Language, to show more respect in how we dress and how we speak, and for the LOVE OF GOD, STOP SAYING 

"IT"S GOT ELECTROLYTES!!!"

Please and Thank you,

Sincerely,

Yours Truly,

~HeatherLynn~

If you haven't watched Idiocracy, I recommend that you do.  If for no other reason than to write to me and tell me I'm wrong and we could never turn into a world of idiots. :)

When you have a dog....

It kinda changes things...it adds a certain something that, well, you have to be a "dog person" to relate I think.

For instance, yesterday morning while in my break room at work, making myself a delicious egg/Velveeta cheese/english whole grain muffin for breakfast out of the microwave (my daily morning breakfast) my co-worker "L" comes cruising past on her way to her office, she see's me, I say "Good Morning L", she smiles and says "OH, GOOD YOU'RE HERE!  I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU!" I'm like "A present!?!?  Ohh, Oohhh...I love presents!" with a big ole smile on my face...because seriously, who doesn't like presents?  Right?

She goes to her office comes out and hands me a little sandwich bag with a stick in it.  I look at it, I look at her, and I say "Um, thanks....What is it!?"  L then says "it's a bullystick for your puppy!"  I smile graciously and say, "What's a bullystick?"  and she said, it's a "Bull Penis, dog's love em!"

Hmmmmm....wow, I've got to tell you, in all my years of growing up at Woods and Waters, being around animals, doing and seeing it all, I can honestly say that nobody had ever given me a bull penis before...bull shit, I've got, but bull penis...well folks, this was a first for me.

Thanks "L" for giving me such a unique offering, and I've got to tell you, my dog DID love the danged thing, however, I felt very strange about giving my little Georgey a penis to chew on....out of fear that this would give him the idea that penis's are for chewing on.  I can just imagine George, sniffing around in the night in bed with Jerimy and I, and all the sudden...*CHOMP*....poor Jerimy.  I'm going to be watching him, if he starts giving Jerimy weird looks, I'm pulling the plug on the bullystick trend!  I love my dog, but I love Jerimy more!

Is it just me, or has puppy chew toys started to resemble recycled sex toys?

This one looks like it should say "ribbed for her pleasure"

It has been brought to my attention.....

...that I have not written anything here in a month.  

Breanne, my apologies! *smiles*

Lets see, what shall I write about...

Well, for starters, I guess I'll tell you the reason I haven't been writing:

His name is 

George:

and I love him!

Since I laid eyes on him I said, I will love him and I will call him George!

And that my friends is my true life story of love at first sight.

I don't know what it is about me, but there's just something that clicks with me when I lay my eyes on something I love....Just like when I RE-met Jerimy 3+ years ago, I saw him and BAM!  I was done, I KNEW in that instant that I was "all in"....that there wasn't going to be any changing my mind about it.  And here we are years later and he's still hands down the love of my life.

Now, fast forward to 3 weeks ago.

I'd been perusing these facebook "Pet sites"....rehoming, strays found, kind of sites and I'd look at the dogs and I'd get all yearning for a puppy...but I don't know if ya'll know this, but PUPPIES, WHILE ADORABLE are OH SO MUCH WORK!!!

Quite frankly, I have no idea how you people raise children, I mean, I have a hard time putting my shoes on at 4:00 a.m. to take George out to go potty...

Which makes me wonder, would people have kids if they had to take them outside and stand there in the rain and snow and cold and crappy Ohio weather WAITING and PRAYING TO GOD that they'd pee already!?!?

You parents, be sure to weigh in on this, because I only have two kids and they are both furry faced pooches!

Anyway...I'm getting sidetracked, 

So I decided awhile back that I just loved Boxers!

So many people I know have them, and they are just such great dogs

One of the first pictures i took when I was starting to get into photography was of a beautiful boxer named Maggie-Moo:

This was the first boxer I ever loved

I guess I was always destined to get one of my own.

But I will tell you this, I'm never going to get the "new book #3" written with him around, holy moses he keeps me hopping....

My life now consists of me running around non-stop saying things like:

"what are you...?  Don't chew on that!  Drop it!  No..no...no..no..no!"

"Who did this?"  "Good boooooy George"..."Baaaaaad Boy George!"

"CRAP, I just stepped in pee I think!"

"c'mon, lets go!"

"STOP DRINKING SO MUCH WATER, YOU'RE GOING TO PEE THE BED!"

*smiles*

And when I'm not saying these things and running around chasing after the most adorable puppy in the world, I'm wholeheartedly smiling.  I don't know what it is about ole George, but he just brings such joy to my life....even when he's a pain, even when he's naughty, he's my buddy.  And I LOVE that he loves Jerimy!  And Easton tries to steal him from me to snuggle with.

Now if I can just get him potty trained, he'll be a great addition to the family!

Ok, so now that you've met George, and you know that I'm totally slacking on my writing, you know who to blame:

But seriously, look at that face,

Can you really blame the little guy

or ME for that matter for falling smitten?

Who can resist this face?

I sure can't!

~HeatherLynn~

The Battle Continues:

So to follow up with you on the "other story" about my battle against my recent outbreak of hair loss ...I bring to you....Tales from the Hair file:

Ok, so you already know I drank powdered ground cinnamon to try to alleviate some of these possible thyroid dysfunction symptoms I'm having....well, I didn't stop there...I went further in my quest.

Four to five Walmart aisles over from the cinnamon capsules I purchased, you will find the "ethnic hair section" of your local Walmart.

I frequent this section because they have plastic hair caps, like six for 99 cents in that section, and those things are awesome to have if you dye your hair, keeps the smell of hair dye from getting in your face, burning your eyes and stinking up the joint.  So I pop over there and what to my wondering eyes should appear...but a wonderful assortment of hair loss stopping for me to on my scalp smear!

They had this one:  

And this one:   

among others.....but I didn't care, I was willing to try anything.

My hair's my thing...I can't just go bald quietly,

so I did what any girl would do, I scooped some of this goop into my cart, and set out to try out Africa's best, and Doo Gro.

I went home that night....and decided to try Doo Gro first.  It was more expensive, there'fore it MUST work better right?  I used the same logic as "they can't put anything on the internet that's not true" and away I went, smearing this Vaseline meets Vicks Vapo Rub type product all over my scalp.  It smelled funny, and it was blue, but I didn't care, I needed to save my Doo!

The instructions said just put on before bed...

and wake up tomorrow with a glorious head....of hair.

Just style and go

the instructions sang out

I scurried to bed in hopes that new hairs would sprout.

Eight hours later ....to what did my wondering eyes did appear

the image of myself in my dresser mirror...

Well, what do you think?!  Do I look awesome or what?!?!

It's going to be all the rage, I just know this style is going to catch on!

*winks*

But I will tell you this....the next day in the shower, much much less hair fell out!

So I've been doing the doo ever since.

Just can't be seen in the mornings by live humans until after a shower....I look a little crazy.

That's my story, 

and I'm sticking too it.

Wish me luck at my Thyroid Scan today at St. Rita's.

I need answers...not Cancer..

so keep your fingers crossed.

Luv,

~HeatherLynn~

Note to self:

THESE

+

IN THE FORM OF THIS:

+

USING THESE

TO CLEAN OFF YOUR FACE

=

DISASTER

A.K.A.

HAVING TISSUE STUCK TO YOUR LIPS

AND UNABLE TO GET IT OFF

WHILE SITTING AT YOUR DESK

AT THE FRONT WINDOW

HOPING AND PRAYING LIKE MAD

THAT NO CLIENT / GENERAL PUBLIC TYPE PERSON WOULD HAPPEN TO RING THE BELL AND NEED MY ASSISTANCE

FOLLOWED BY HAVING TO GET A WET WIPE TO CLEAN FACE OFF.

MY PROFESSIONALISM KNOWS NO BOUNDS.

HOW I GOT THIS JOB I'LL NEVER KNOW.

:)

Disastrously yours,

~Heather Lynn~

I tell ya, if its not one thing, it's another....

So I hate going to the Dr.

Yes, I'm not a fan...as I suspect many of you aren't as well.  So I know you'll understand when I tell you that I have a really bad habit of "waiting out" a condition.  I basically have something come up..and then I wait to see if it goes away.  Standard Operating Procedure for an Osting...especially an Osting who grew up with never having health insurance.

The only Health Insurance we ever had was our Dad telling us if we get hurt, we better not come crying to him because he would NOT take us to the hospital...so whatever we broke, we better know how to fix ourselves, or learn to live without the function of that particular body part.  It was good advice, because I never broke a bone growing up.  I once was hit in the face by a door that was hit by a buffalo and knocked unconscious and had a black eye and bloody nose when I woke up, so to say it was a miracle that's all that was wrong with me, is an understatement.  Buffalo are very temperamental creatures for those of you who are unfamiliar with the animal.  Anyhoo....

So my family has a really really extensive history of "thyroid problems".  Which sucks, and I've had mine tested several times, one time it came back bad, the next two times, it came back fine.  However, I have nearly EVERY SINGLE symptom of hypothyroidism.  No kidding...like every single danged one of those suckers...well, except for low sex drive....but I think that particular symptom is counteracted by the fact that I'm an "Osting" and due to some research on the subject, I apparently come from a long ling of sex maniacs! Some people look up their family trees and find out that they immigrated from Ireland, or that they come from a long line of Blacksmiths or something cool like that..."I" on the other hand come from a long line of hotblooded red haired sex maniacs.  Awesome right?....but again, I digress....

The point I'm trying to make...is that due to my family history of Hypothyroidism, and the fact that I have all the symptoms, I've been trying to get to the bottom of my symptoms, and have been yet to do so.

My former Endocrinologist disappeared for awhile...and there was rumor that he went to India, and never came back..then I heard he was run out of his practice, then I heard he was "missing"....I don't know the truth on the matter, but I heard he's alive and no longer practicing in Lima.  Soooooo...I never followed up with him for my follow-up appointment last year due to all of the craziness surrounding his whereabouts.  My symptoms were tolerable at that time, so I didn't want to make a fuss.  Now....flash forward to the last three months....

I'd been noticing that my hair was falling out in large amounts when I took a shower....I mean, I'd clog the drain about 3 times in a matter of minutes....it was ridiculous.  Yet, I thought...It'll go away....Perhaps I'm just shedding my "winter coat" like a dog, or a horse or something....

yeah....that's not really the case I'm guessing.  So finally i made an appointment to go back to the Dr.  This morning at 7:00 a.m.  But in the meantime, while I was waiting for my appointment, I played Dr. and took matters into my own hands...and this my friends is where the funny happens.  I should never be left to my own devices....

First I decided to try some herbal remedies:  So after some research I found that honey and cinnamon were a great combination to take for all kinds of ailments...so I bought honey from a local bee farmer, I bought some ground cinnamon and was excited to start my new regimen of herbs and honey.  THEN....I found that Coconut Oil ALSO does amazing things for hair, and skin and nails, and weight loss.....it's like a miracle food.....according to the internet...and we all know "they can't put anything on the internet that isn't true"....french models aside... *winks*

So Then I read that Green Tea is good for you...so I got some green tea and decided to start drinking that.  Oh, I was so excited for my new healthy supplements.  That's when I got the brilliant idea to combine all of them together!  A nice coconut oil, cinnamon  honey green tea cup of awesomeness.  I heated the water, I steeped the tea bag, I spooned in the honey, melted the coconut oil, and last but certainly not least, I measured out a tablespoon of ground cinnamon, and put it into the hot steamy liquid.

I stirred it all together.....and I stirred, and I stirred.....and stirred some more....but the danged cinnamon wouldn't dissolve.  I stirred and stirred until my arm was tired and then I asked my mom "What the hell's a'matter with this danged cinnamon?  It won't mix into my tea!"  My mom who's engrossed in a television program just shrugs her shoulders and says "you should of mixed it in the honey, and then you wouldn't even taste it"....

"Well I already put it in my tea, it's too late for that....I don't want to waste it!  This stuff wasn't cheap!"

So I decide to drink it....with a half of an inch of powdered cinnamon on top....and some good ole Coconut oil laying just beneath it.  "here goes nothing" I say as I bring the coffee mug to my lips.

{INSERT COUGHING, GASPING, SNORTING, CHOKING, BITTER BEER FACE HERE}

It was horrible....I mean, OMG, horrible.  My mom starts laughing at me....as I'm nearly dying ....

"What's the matter"....she asks

I say between breaths and gulps of horribleness "The Cinnamon...it's sooooo horrible!?!?"

I open my mouth and there's cinnamon everywhere, under my tongue, in between every one of my teeth, it's in my nasal passage, cinnamon powder was coming out my nose....it was terrible!

My mom then says to me "Well don't drink it then!"

I wince in pure cinnamon hell and say "I can't waste it, I've come this far....I'm going to finish it!"  And finish it I did, but it was easily one of the worst drinking experiences I've ever been part of.  So please don't do what I did...I'll let you in on a little secret, they sell cinnamon in capsules, and you can just swallow those down easy-peasy!  So please kids, don't make the same mistakes I have....cinnamon coming out of your orifices is unpleasant to say the least!

And this is the FIRST story of two crazy home remedies I tried this weekend....I'll tell you the next one perhaps tomorrow!

Keep your noses clean,
Until tomorrow,
~Heather Lynn~

An Oldie, but a goodie.....

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2005

I couldn't help myself.....

Here’s something ya’ll might not know about me…I collect old books. The older the better. I love everything about them, the musty library smell, the yellowish discolored pages, the way the paper feels thick and grainy between your fingertips, the hard bound volumes in all shapes, sizes and colors…they have provided hours of entertainment for me. In my not so always normal mind, the book still reserves the significance of power and knowledge. I mean think about it. There are people in history who were completely self-taught to do the most miraculous things from books. They didn’t have fancy colleges and technical schools; they had a book and a set of eyes…well, and determination for personal excellence, growth and knowledge. How I do adore the want of mankind to share and distribute what we have learned in this life. Do you know, that whatever it is you want to know how to do, someone, somewhere most likely has written a book about it. Want to build a bomb or an airplane, do your taxes, perform medical procedures, have wild sex? It’s all there at your local public library.

Libraries are highly underrated these days since the introduction of the Internet and I find it quite a shame. Sure I love technology, but the idea of books becoming the cassette tape of the future disturbs me.

So where was I, I apologize, I start talking about books and I get so far off track I sometimes can’t find my way back even with the use of both hands and a flashlight. The reason I told you all of that was to tell you this next story about a very noteworthy quote I recently had the pleasure of reading. The story goes as follows:

I love to purchase old non-fiction books from garage sales, etc. You know educational type books and see if I can’t learn something new and interesting. Well I learned something so very interesting, I can’t hold it inside another minute: Try to compose yourself as you read my next line….“Women carry their hurt and pain from life in their vaginas” Yes, that’s right my friends, as we speak your vaginas are full of hurt, anger and pain. You know that argument you had with your husband last week, it went straight to your vagina so that you can carry it around with you for the rest of your life.

I don’t mean to gross anyone out or anything, but I’ve had some serious emotional burdens in my lifetime. I’ve seen a lot in my 27 years. I’ve had unhealthy relationships, loss, hurt, anger and betrayal, and never in all of my 27 years did my vagina even so much as complain to me about it. Never said a peep. And I thought we were close!!

Can you imagine going to see a therapist and there you are sitting on a leather couch telling her your problems and Wham, she tells you that you better be careful or you might upset your vagina? Whose appointment is this anyway? My Vagina’s or mine? I tell you who’s paying the bill…..not my freeloading vagina, that’s for sure!

Now, you might ask what kind of voodoo books am I reading…well it’s a book Titled Women’s Bodies and Women’s Wisdom by Christiane Northrup, M.D. I picked it up at a garage sale in Holland, Michigan for something to read while I was on vacation. Boy what an eye opener that was. This book is jam-packed with information like angry vaginas and other fun factoids. Did you know that “the clitoris is the only human organ whose soul function is to generate sexual pleasure”?. Or, did you know that sunbathing is associated with sexual arousal? In ancient Greece, men used to run on the beach naked to expose their testicles to sun to improve their testosterone levels! The book as a whole is very informative and will even make you learn a thing or two about things you always thought you understood about your body, but the theories about the angry / hurt vaginas of Caroline and Charles Muir in this book could not be ignored without writing this post. According to the book, Caroline and Charles Muir are the couple that popularized the ancient link between sexuality and spirituality. They also coined the phrase “sacred spot”. If you want to read more on this, it’s page 241, Chapter Eight, Reclaiming the Erotic.

So the moral of the story my friends: A woman’s body is full of hidden mystery, pleasure, wisdom and apparently “sacred spots”, but it’s most important to listen to and always protect your vagina. Apparently it is your treasure chest of emotional and sexual baggage and let us not forget it is the passageway for life. Ladies use it wisely! Men, respect its power and its vulnerability!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR, TO THE AUTHOR: the book referenced in this post is actually worth a read, it just has it’s kind of off the wall parts. When I read about the angry vagina theory, it struck me as funny. That’s the thing about theories, always open for interpretation! No disrespect intended Dr. Northrup!]


Current Mood: Reminiscent
Current Music: Billy Joel - New York State of Mind

I really hate.....

I really hate....when my day starts off all wrong....

like by over sleeping....

and then having a bloody nose.....

followed by choking on a vitamin, nearly dying while my dog Chubs watches from the comfort of his dog bed.  And why does he get to lay around all day while I have to to off to work to support his lazy-dog-luvin-butt-smelling-tush?

Ok, whew...got that outta my system.

I sound cranky don't I?  Did I mention that my Vitamin D gel tab ended up coming out my nose and then stuck to the kitchen countertop?  That TMI for before noon on a Thursday?

 I apologize, I'm trying to shake it off.

Last night I didn't get a lick of sleep, well, not real sleep anyway, I spent the whole night tossing and turning and DREAMING...I must be wound pretty tight and don't know it because all night long I dreamed about all the things I have to do this week, except for, they all went wrong.....like I bought a chair on a facebook garage sale site :  (She's a beaut ain't she?)

and I'm supposed to go pick it up in Convoy on Saturday at 1:00 p.m.  Well, I dreamed I realized at like 4:00 p.m. that I forgot to go and missed it! 

I also dreamed that I was Angelina Jolie, and I was a newborn vampire and had amazing powers I didn't know how to use yet...(I recently watched Twilight Breaking Dawn Part II...can't ya tell?) 

followed by....

Dreaming that my radio interview went horribly, because I got up to the microphone and forgot how to speak in English, everything I said came out in Italian and DJ Old Skool thought I was having a stroke and looked at me like I was from another planet.

I hate when that happens, but I will say that whilst I was mortified by my lack of being able to speak English, my Italian was quite beautiful.....I was so fluent, and while on one hand it was a nightmare, on the other hand, it was so awesome, because I've been haphazardly trying to learn Italian for years.

So far I can say: "che è una macchina"

Which means, "that is a car"....exciting huh?!?  Can't wait to get to Italy and point and say "che è una macchina!"

Naturally the Italians will look at me like I'm an escaped mental patient, or a great lover of the obvious, and then I'll say the other Italian phrase that I know:  "la pizza per favore"

Which means "Pizza Please"

I figure if I can point out a car, and grab some real authentic Italian pizza, I'll be just fine over seas.  Right?!  Yeah, I'm sure it'll be ok.

Well, that's enough about me.....hope your day's started out better than mine....have a Happy Thursday everyone.

Buongiorno,

~Signora Heather Lynn~

As many of you know....

I think:  

I really do.  I think there's a right way and a wrong way to treat people.  I think it IS possible to keep it classy when something pisses you off, and I think that sometimes, the madder you are, the less control you have over your behaviors only makes you look like an ass.....all the while, hurting, belittling, and upsetting those around you.

Today, was a perfect example of that....So this morning I wake up at Jerimy's....like I normally do, and E's getting ready for school...I'm stumbling around looking for my keys and realize I don't have them.  At this point, total and utter fear sets in at the thought that I may have locked them in my car!  Which makes you say multiple expletives in your head as you run out the door to check.

"DAMNIT DAMINT DAMINT!" you exclaim when you see your bundle of keys hanging in the ignition, with a locked door between you and your main mode of transportation.

I call Jerimy....he's at work by now and doesn't answer.  I call my mom...."Mom?!  Did my car come with a spare key when we bought it?"  She can't remember, I was thinking it only had one, but she said she'd go home and check....I'd already called the Delphos Police Department to ask them if they got cars unlocked, but they said "no" and gave me the name and #'s of a couple local guys who did.  So I called the first one on the list and he said he couldn't get to me for twenty minutes.  So I told E to see if anyone could pick him up and take him to school...while I got Jerimy's car unlocking tools out of the garage.  I basically read the manual, and was going to go try and attempt to use said tools when the lock guy called me and said he was outside.

So I tell him.."Be right out" and I go out to meet him....when I walk around the corner of the house, I see my mother's jeep, and then I see my mother, UNLOCKING my car....she'd found a spare, and came right over....I had no idea she was coming or that there was a key....I looked at the guy in the truck behind her and made a very apologetic face and mouthed "Sooooorry" to him, but before I could get over there to him, he threw it in reverse, peeled /squealed his tires and was gone!  I called Jerimy to tell him what happened, and while I was on the phone with Jerimy, the guy called me and left me a voicemail.  I told Jerimy when I got off the phone with him, I'd call the guy and apologize.  I didn't listen to the voicemail, i just called him back....he answered and I said "{insert name here}, I'm so sorry, I didn't know my mom had a key and I didn't know she was coming....I didn't even know if my car came with a spare key...." He just said, I don't care, you have really pissed me off....normally I charge people for coming out.....but forget it! and he hung up on me.

So I texted him and asked him to send me an address where I could forward the $20 to, I'd be more than happy to pay him for coming out, after all I had used his time, and it's only fair to compensate him for that....

No reply.

So I got a shower, got dressed, went to the ATM machine, got out $20.00 and I went to the place I thought he worked at.  I wasn't entirely sure.

I walked in the front door, and a man walked around the corner to meet me.  He looked angry...

"are you {insert name here}?" I asked.

"Yes" he said while recognition spread across his face.  He looked at me, he looked at the $20 dollar bill in my fingers and said, leave, I don't want your money!"

"But sir, I'd like to pay you for your time, you came, and I'd like you to take this for your trouble"

"I don't want your money, just leave."

"I didn't know my mother was coming with the key, I didn't even know there WAS a key....I wouldn't of ever intentionally wasted your time, I swear it"

"Well SOMEONE called her!?!?!?"

Yes, I did, but she was simply going to LOOK to see if there WAS a key, I didn't know there would be one!"

He contemplated it a moment....I could see the vision of him physically throwing me out on my ass and/or taking my money flashing across his face....

I spoke up once more, "I really am sorry...I don't want there to be hard feelings here, it was just a mistake.  If I'd of known she found a key, I'd of called you and told you not to come!"

He ended up taking my money, NOT throwing me out in the snow on my ass, but once I was in my car, oohhh boy did the tears start bubbling up.  Damnit!  He made me cry I thought.  I didn't want to, but I was so upset by the fact that just one little mistake could make a total stranger hate me, refuse my money, curse at me....all while I continued to make it right with him.  I was trying to put my best foot forward and it was like being hit in the forehead with a sledge hammer talking to him.

Granted, I will never again step foot into his business, I will never send anyone else to his business, but I wanted to have things square between us.  I called him for a service, I paid him for said service.  Now we're even.

But it sure was a lousy start to the day, to be berated and for what?!  $20?!?!  

Meeting men like the one I met this morning, sure, sure, sure make me appreciate the kind, gentle men you come across in life.  My Grandpa Rollie was a gentle soul.  You know, the more I think about it, even if I'd made that guy mad, he didn't have to treat me like he wanted to murder me, and then bury my body where nobody would ever find it.

So, while it took all that I had to not treat him the way he was treating me...I'm glad I could manage to keep myself from being a person LIKE HIM.  I don't ever want to be "that guy"....

And to the guy who made me cry today, I hope you enjoy the fact that today you made someone's daughter cry, someone's sister, someone's cousin and someone's girlfriend.  I have a really big family....REALLY big, and the ones who've asked me who made me cry....they said they'd never bring their business to you ever again.  In a small town, your name, your reputation is everything....customer service is THE reason people come back time and time again....based on what I saw today, treating people the way I was treated, I feel sorry for the good people you'll continue to lose because you're unable to be kind, when things don't go your way.  Gotta roll with the punches...and in business....you have to be able to handle yourself, because YOU are the face of your company....if the face of your company goes around making people cry....I worry for your company's longevity.

I now know who to NEVER call when I need help.

Chevy Garage is going to get my business from now on.  Those guys out there have been great to me in the past, and I wish I'd of called them this morning instead.

Lesson learned.

Oh and while I'm talking about Local Delphos Businesses, to end this on a very happy note, I want to tell you guys of just a few of MY favorite Delphos Businesses....#1 Fischer Plumbing & Heating....those people are so fantastic, I cannot tell you how wonderful they have been to me....SUPERB customer service.

#2 - Baked to Perfection.....Talk about a enjoyable experience each and every time I go there!  <3 them!

#3 - Schrader Realty - Krista and her team are by far one of the most helpful, protective of their people, hard working group of agents to ever walk into a realty company.  They really are amazing at what they do, and they really CARE about the people they do business with.

Just to name a few...

There are businesses in town that make the "America's Friendliest City" sign that is posted on our town's borders no lie.

~Heather Lynn~

A good story is a treasure....a good movie, pure entertainment for the senses

Growing up, I think I was just spoiled, we had such good movies.....I mean, we had E.T., Sixteen Candles, the Breakfast Club, we had Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan Movies, we had Sleeping with the Enemy, we had Adventures in Babysitting...Fight Club, Forest Gump, Anything with Robert Redford in it, Karate Kid, Point Break, Dumb and Dumber, Super Troopers, Bridges of Madison County, Pretty Woman....we had so many quality movies, it was awesome!

This weekend, while trying DESPERATELY to stave off the horrible case of S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) I'm apparently suffering from, also known as Cabin Fever, I rented three dvd's from Family Video, hoping to get comfy on my big red couch, while wearing my flip flops and shorts and tank top (because I'm trying to remember what summer feels like) and enjoy some time at my house.

See I spend an enormous amount of time at my boyfriend, Jerimy's, so sometimes, a weekend at my own home, is almost like staying in a hotel....minus the bedbugs and the possibility of picking up athlete's foot from the guy who showered in your hotel shower before you.

So the movies I got were these:

1.  Argo

2.  The Five Year Engagement

3.  Abraham Lincoln the Vampire Hunter

So here's what I knew going in.

#1 - I heard Argo was very very good from a Co-worker.  Plus there were all those awards it was up for, so seemingly it was a hit.

#2 - The five year engagement looked funny in the previews...and I generally like Jason Segel.

#3 - I love Abraham Lincoln, he's my favorite president and he's an amazing poet, and I just think there's so much to him, that any chance I get to learn more about him, to dig a little deeper into his era/life, I'm generally more than willing to do so.  Admittedly, going in I figured the whole Vampire thing would be fairly unrealistic, but I was open minded.

Now, after having watched all three movies, I can say this:  "meh."

Is it just me, or do movies just "lack something" in today's day and age?  It's like you watch the whole thing, and you say to yourself, "alrightee....well there you have it."

It's not that they are terrible, it's just that they are just "missing something"....that thing, that MAKES you love them, that thing that makes them "classic" and something people want their kids to watch someday....like the Goonies, and the original star wars movies....and E.T.....you think they are going to make a Disney Ride out of Abraham Lincoln the Vampire Hunter?  Nope.  I'm guessing not.

As a writer, I do so enjoy a good story, characters that you love so much that they feel like your friends...and you talk about them like they are real life people....but movies today they just don't have the "heart" anymore....a good story will last the test of time, great characters resonate in our hearts for a lifetime....I'll NEVER forget the first book I read and LOVED, I'll never forget Richie Valens (Lou Diamond Phillips) from Labamba....I mean, I can close my eyes RIGHT NOW, and see the scene of Richie and his brother, running up that hill, with the song "Sleepwalkers" playing it's sad sad melody, both smiling...a scene of happier times....upon the news of Richie's death....THAT my friends is a testament to a movie worth watching, it becomes a part of your mind...you absorb it into your being...and you take it with you for all time.

I would like to FORGET "The five year engagement" as quickly as possible and never think of it again.

Argo was good, historically a smart film.  Great actors and great performances, but like any "historical" movie, sometimes it felt more like a documentary, or "re-enactment" than a blockbuster movie...if you know what I mean.

And as for "Honest Abe...the Vampire hunter"...ummm....it seemed like two DIFFERENT movies to me.  The beginning was very vampire-ey folklore-ey...while the ending then became the history channel's depiction of Abraham's presidency, and then the very end went back to the first feeling....not a horrible movie...but I'll forget it before the week's out....and likely never think of it again.

I would say the best two "romantic comedies" of the last 5 years have been....(for me)...

"It's Complicated" and "The Proposal"....

Those two had me laughing so hard I couldn't speak and had tears coming out of my eyes, and I'm STILL quoting them regularly to this day....and THAT my friends is a damn fine movie.....

Also I still quote "Old School".....it was dumb, but worthy of my adoration.

As I writer, I try so very hard to write things WORTH reading....I want to, and work really hard to give you characters you can love, characters you can hate, and characters you're not sure if you should love OR hate them....but it's not an easy task always, if HOLLYWOOD can't make you fall in love....can't make you lose yourself in a movie (and they are freaking professionals!), so you know how hard one must work, when you have only your spare time and a laptop.....to "capture" a reader, "give" them something to love, "take" them to another place and time...and "MAKE" them fall in love.

I LOVE trying....I LOVE that all of you (my readers) have taken a chance on me...have given me your time, your imaginations, and have trusted me with them.  I am ever so honored.

All my love and gratitude,

~Heather Lynn~

The Big 3-5.

Me and my birthdays have always gotten along....I'm a big fan of them.  In our family growing up, aside from that one year that my parents forgot my birthday, they were always a big to-do in the Osting house.  We always made a cake, there were always presents and well, it was just an "event" that we could all enjoy.

I loved getting to a new age, I loved blowing out the candles and making a wish, I never once in my life was "hesitant" about a birthday until this year.

Even turning 30, I was so excited....quite frankly, to have survived my 20's was such an accomplishment, I thought, YES!  Finally I'm moving to a new bracket...but now, as my thirty-fifth birthday is staring me in the face...only a mere three days away now...I'm all feeling conflicted and icky and nervous and reluctant to accept the fact that I'm about to turn 35.

How is it that being 34 is awesome and 35 is torture is beyond me, but the fact remains that for the first time in my life, I'm not looking forward to my birthday.  Now, I'm not a mope, I'm not a whoa-is-me kinda girl, but I'm also NOT a lie-about-my-age kind of girl either, so naturally I WILL HAVE to look 35 in the eye and just grit my teeth and take it on the chin, but I don't have to "like" it do I?

A lot of you may not know this, but just as I was about to turn thirty, I was informed that I might not live to see another birthday.  What started out as a scratch on my eyelid from a eyeshadow brush turned into a staph infection so terrible and out of control due to receiving the wrong treatments from my then family Dr., that I wound up in the infectious disease ward of St. Rita's medical center with people in yellow HAZMAT suits attending to me while I was quarantined from the outside world.

But that wasn't the worst of it, the worst of it is when my Dr. first checked me and said, and I quote..."Well Ms. Osting, I'm not sure if you're going to make it", and I was like "Whoa, what!?!?"  I mean, I know thirty's not a young age, but it's way too soon to die!

Dr. then says, "If you pull through this, and we can get the infection under control, there is the possibility that due to the intense swelling, you may loose your eye, or eyesight, also you are at high risk for meningitis, so we're watching for that as well.

This was me in the emergency room as they checked me in:  I hope I don't frighten you too much!

So why are you so scared of THIRTY-FIVE you're thinking....and you're right, I SHOULDN'T.  I LIVED to see my 30th, and damnit, I'm going to probably LIVE to see my 40th....I just have to swallow 35 first.

They say that, or maybe it's me who says this....but anyway, they say that everything tastes better with cheese on it, so I'm going to put some cheese on 35, and I'm going to swallow it whole.  And then I'm going to smile for the damn camera....because my mother is basically the paparazzi at birthday parties, and I'm going to say cheeeeeeese!

At my age, there's no going back, there's no room for fear....and on a happy note, someone at the nursing home the other day told me that I didn't look anywhere near 35 years old.  Which makes me happy, but I also think that compared to people in the nursing home, I probably DO look young....*laughs*

To remind myself to be thankful this year, regardless of my age, I want to add to this post, my valentines day post from 2008, which I wrote from St. Rita's.....all alone in the pre-dawn hours.

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VALENTINES DAYS AND HOSPITAL STAYS:  (February 14, 2008)

(written while at St. Rita's)

It's 7:10 am on a snowy Feb. morning. As the world awakes and begins their busy day, I lay here in a hospital bed on the 8th floor of St. Rita's Medical Center.

What started out as a simple scratch on my eyelid has now turned into a very costly medical emergency.

Everyone here is really nice. I'm surrounded by flowers and balloons from my family and friends, but it's still a hospital. no amount of pretty plants or floating messages can make you forget the tubes hooked to your body or the ever changing nursing staff that constantly are coming around to check your vitals and hang a new bag of antibiotics.

I've tried to sleep as much as possible. I figured I could sleep these days away, but the body can only sleep so much and my body is on sleeping strike.....no more sleeping it SCREAMS!

Last year on Valentines Day I was set to get divorced. Valentines Day 2008 and here I lay in a hospital. I really hope this isn't the start of a pattern. I won't EVEN ask..."What's next"...or I won't live to write to you next year I fear! Ya know, it's hard enough being SINGLE on Valentines Day, but being single, sick, swollen/ugly and in a hospital on Valentines day, c'mon now....that's just too much!

Rachel told me last year that while we both had a rather tumultuous 2007, 2008 would be OUR year! So far, lil Ms. Fortune teller Rachel has been a little off her mark with that prediction! *smiles* Hey maybe she's just a year off, and 2009 is more our style.

Anyway, my eye hurts, it's beginning to get light outside.....it's the international day of love.....and it's going to be a long road to recovery when you measure it drip, by drip, by drip of the IV.

Happy Valentines Day!

Luv,

~hl~

The View from my hospital window

The world doesn't stop moving at the speed of light just because you're laid up...it just keeps right on going.....

Tales from a Book Signing

This is the sign that was there to greet me upon entering Baked to Perfection Saturday morning for my "book signing and breakfast" event that they hosted.  Made my heart go a'flutter.

My editor and partner in crime Rachel was there along with Mike, my IT guy/business adviser whom also makes my world a much nicer place....Jerimy, my wonderful and indispensable boyfriend, my mom, my aunt's, my cousins...we all showed up an hour early to partake in a pre-book signing breakfast.  I ordered my favorite egg and sausage sandwich on wheat bread texas toast with colby-jack cheese, and a large glass of milk, with a glass of ice to pour it in...I know, weird, but I like my milk super cold....it's divine, it really is.

Breakfast had a feel of excitement and electricity...as we all had no idea what to expect, this being our first REAL book related event, but we were optimistic.  Or should I say, I was optimistic, Mike was confident, and Rachel was supportive!  God bless em!

I could barely eat my sandwich....Rach smiled reassuringly reminding me that everything was going to be fine....and by the time I moved over to the table we'd had reserved for us, I was almost believing her...everything WOULD be just fiiiiiiine.

UNTIL....I saw him!

"Him" being the reporter from WLIO Lima.

I gave Rachel an accusing look and said "Who called the Press!?!??!"

I'm quite certain all the color went out of my face, my stomach began to boil with nausea and all my muscles went stiff... simultaneously, which I have to tell you is NOT an awesome feeling to have on such a glorious Saturday morning.

Rachel looked fairly innocent as she said 'Hey, don't look at me, I didn't!"

I looked at Mike, my mom....Jerimy...they too looked totally as surprised as I was.

He introduced himself and started to set up his camera's tripod....

I swallowed back buckets of fear and partially digested egg sandwich.

He told me how he thought this would make for an interesting new story and had come on his own fruition to do the story, that nobody had called him, and I felt honored and yet equally woozy.

By this time, people had begun to trickle in....two of my beloved teachers from High School...

Mrs. Baker and Ms. Yoder were seated a few tables away from where the reporter sat up to tape the interview, and they too had wide eyes and smiles....it seemed like everyone was in as high of spirits as I was...you know, minus the vomit in my throat... *smiles*

Here's the interview:

Hometownstations.com-WLIO- Lima, OH News Weather Sports

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The highlights of the day....

I finally got a hug from Mr. Dillworth, a local hero of mine...

If you read the last blog, you would understand why this particular hug was ever so gratifying! 

*laughs and blushes*

I'm still a dummy over that whole deal!

But HIM...he's awesome...if you haven't hugged a cop today, I highly recommend it!

Betty Dillworth...thanks for sharing yours for hugging purposes with me! I am honored!

{and 'no' my hair and eyes aren't usually so black! :)  But those smiles...they were genuine!}

I had one reader come up to the table and say "Ok, which one of you is my new favorite author?"  Talk about a compliment....I nearly fell out of my chair...especially when she, and her fellow reader pals started talking about MY book's characters by name, "Knox is my new Christian Grey"....I mean, can you imagine better compliments?  I was absolutely joyous to hear people talk about my book's characters like they knew them personally....completely awesome it was.

It was just so so so very wonderful to have met the people who came up to get a book or to get their book signed, and so many of my friends (who knew I'd be nervous) showed up to show their support and to be a friendly face in the crowd I would need to see....

Jerimy sat patiently and probably bored stiff the ENTIRE signing like a champ along side of my mother who was happy to interject here in there with factoids readers would be interested to know...

I really could not of asked for a better day, a better turn out, better readers or a better community to have had my first book signing in!

Rachel and Mike and I left that day with such a wonderful high from all the positivity...I dare say it bordered on giddiness!

Thank you everyone who came

Thank you WILO guy for making my pale skin ever paler, momentarily. *winks*

And thanks Stacy and Alex and everyone at Baked to Perfection for hosting us ever so graciously!

I never 'really' felt like an "Author"....

but now, because of all of you....

I feel it!

THANK YOU!

Truly Yours,

~Heather Lynn Osting~

Special thank you's also to:

Rachel Graham

Mike Graham

Deborah Grothouse

Diane Boratko

Susan Spears

Rebekah Boratko

Stacy & Sami Klint

Stephanie Stemen

Kathy Newland

Patti Calvert

Beth Huffman

Sheri Miller

Mrs. Betty Dillworth & Officer Gary Dillworth

Linda Baker

Arnita Yoder

Kim Hodgson
Amy Wannemacher
Donna Klinger

Ashley Wannemacher

Mary Meyer

Michelle Bayman

Amber Kruse

and

Jen Vonderwell