About Me

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Well let’s see. I was born during the Blizzard of 1978 in Lima, Ohio. I have lived in Ohio all my life. I like it here. We have corn fields instead of oceans, overpasses instead of mountains and fog instead of smog. Sure it's not the promise land, but sometimes one doesn't need postcard worthy beauty on the outside to have it elsewhere. I'm a writer for fun, a Paralegal for profession, and while one pays the bills, one feeds my imagination, or perhaps my imagination feeds my writing...either way, Writing is as much of who I am as the color of my eyes, or the way that I smile. Blogs are great communication tools, and I'm here to communicate with YOU...yeah, you who's reading this right now....*assuming anyone's out there* *crickets chirp* Alrightee then, IF anyone should find themselves here, be it by accident or on purpose, welcome, glad to have you aboard. Throw anchor, stay awhile! Sunshine & Smiles, ~Heather Lynn~

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Funny Story from Yesterday:

{WARNING:  DUE TO THE CONTENT AND USE OF SOME OFF-COLOR LANGUAGE IN THIS STORY, PLEASE BE AWARE YOU MIGHT FIND IT VULGAR / OFFENSIVE / OR GRANDMA, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, YOU MIGHT BE SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED AT WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY....SO READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION}

Yesterday I came home from work, threw myself in my big red chaise lounge chair in the living room and began to rummage through he mail, looking aimlessly at the junk that I get in my mailbox day in and day out.

My mom was on the couch, it was hot and humid, and I was exhausted from work, yet looking forward to my dinner date with my cousin Rachel to catch up since we hadn't seen much of each other lately.

So while I waited for the time to pass until she picked me up, I lounged and gabbed to my mother some, pretty typical after work activity.

Jerimy and I have been looking at buying a house together, and I'd left my name and number with some loan officers while researching where we wanted to get our loan through, so when my phone rang, and I saw that it was a number I didn't know, I picked it up instead of letting it go to voicemail like I would normally do when I don't know a number that calls me.  Apparently I'm shady like that! *laughs*

So, I answer the call and say "Hello"...

I hear a man's voice on the other end of the line...."Is this Heather?"

"yes it is"

"Do you have big tits?"  The man on the telephone asked me.

my mouth dropped open, my eyes got wide and I for a moment was speechless....finally after I caught my breath, I said "Who wants to know?!?"

Then the man said "Well, I'm standing here at the Rimer Quarry, on the bridge and it says here "Heather's got big Tits, DDS" on a label stuck to the side of the guard rail.  So I thought to myself, I only know one Heather with big tits, so I figured it had to be you!

By this time, the voice was starting to sound familiar, and when he then laughed, I knew who it was, and just before I could say something back to him, he laughed heartily and said "This is Todd by the way, I don't know if you still have my number in your phone or not"....

I was laughing so hard by this point because, a couple weeks ago, while standing in my Cousin Nick's garage Jerimy, my better half was making a joke to Nick about how organized he was.  Hell he even had a label maker to label all his stuff.  Jerimy picked up the label maker, typed in "Heather has big Tits" and hit send.  The label spit out, but it had DDS behind it, so Jerimy again, typed in the same, and again, it spit out the statement followed by DDS.  We had a nice laugh, they talked about sticking the label actually TO me, and then it was forgotten about.

A couple days later, Jerimy and I were out scouting locations for the cover shoot we were doing the following day for "The Ordeal's" cover.  The location I had intended to use got ruined by construction equipment and I was scrambling to find a new location.  I took a chance, and decided that I wanted to try to find the Rimer Quarry, just have a look at what it had to offer, if anything.  I had an idea about a particular part in the book that perhaps the quarry might make a nice fit for.

Jerimy and I found it, road our bikes right onto the "great divide" bridge as I'm told it's called, and parked our bikes and took a look around.

I took some test shots with my camera, and then Jerimy and I just admired the view, the breeze coming out of the deep cavernous hole in the ground below us and then looked at all the graffiti on the bridge painted by many generations of teenage hoodlums and country cruisers just like Jerimy and I were once.

Then, out of nowhere, Jerimy pulls out the label he'd made at Nick's, and says, Lets stick this to the bridge!  Leave our mark!  I laughed, thinking, what the hell, I mean, it's not like anyone would ever know it was me, so I smiled at my wonderful man and said, "do it".  And he did.  As we drove away from the bridge headed back for Delphos, we left behind:


Never thinking for a second, anyone would ever know it was me!

All the Heather's in all the world and I have a label on a bridge and someone instantly knew it was me!

That's just crazy!

I asked Jerimy last night, "Honey, you didn't put my phone number on that label did you?!?"

So if you see this label, if it survived last night's storms, yes it's me!  and NO I'm not responsible for putting it there....
now Jerimy, well, his hands aren't exactly clean of this one!