About Me

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Well let’s see. I was born during the Blizzard of 1978 in Lima, Ohio. I have lived in Ohio all my life. I like it here. We have corn fields instead of oceans, overpasses instead of mountains and fog instead of smog. Sure it's not the promise land, but sometimes one doesn't need postcard worthy beauty on the outside to have it elsewhere. I'm a writer for fun, a Paralegal for profession, and while one pays the bills, one feeds my imagination, or perhaps my imagination feeds my writing...either way, Writing is as much of who I am as the color of my eyes, or the way that I smile. Blogs are great communication tools, and I'm here to communicate with YOU...yeah, you who's reading this right now....*assuming anyone's out there* *crickets chirp* Alrightee then, IF anyone should find themselves here, be it by accident or on purpose, welcome, glad to have you aboard. Throw anchor, stay awhile! Sunshine & Smiles, ~Heather Lynn~

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Funny Proposal Moments:

So after Jerimy Proposed to me the other night, I just HAD to call my Momma and tell her.  I knew she'd be sleeping, and I knew I'd wake her up, but she's my mom, and I wanted to call her....so she'd just have to suck it up and answer my call.

This is my Momma and me:

So anyway....
Jerimy says, "you're not really going to call her and wake her up are you?"
Me:  "Hell yes I am!!"

The phone rings, and rings...I'm starting to think she won't answer....but after a bit, the phone quit ringing and I heard the voice that sounded nothing of my mother's and everything of one of these characters:

which of course is extremely ironic considering my mom hasn't smoked a cigarette in her life!

Me:  "Mom?"
Her:  "Yeah?"
Me:  "I'm getting married!!!!" {insert happy squeal from me here}
There was a long pause of total silence, 
for a second I thought she hung up on me...
Her:  "Tonight?"
Me:  "NO!  NOT TONIGHT!  Jerimy just proposed to me!"
Her:  ..............another long ass pause...."Oh"
Me:  {realizing my mother's totally sleep talking to me at this point}....Ok, well I just wanted to tell you the good news!
Her:  "Yep, good news."....{in a complete 3 pack a day habit, monotone voice showing ZERO enthusiasm}
Me:  "Well, ....Goodnight"
Her:  "Yep"

Me to Jerimy:  "Um, Wow, she was really out of it!  That wasn't exactly how I expected that to go!"  I said with a laugh.

The next day, my mom texts me the following:  "I had a dream last night you called me and told me you were engaged!!!  Then I thought it might of been real....was it?"

Me back to her:  "LOL...that happened alright!"

So much for sharing good news when it's fresh!

I <3 u Momma...


Monday, May 19, 2014


One thing I love about being a writer is the fact that you have complete power and control over happily ever after.  In fiction, it's the one place where "happily ever after is ALLOWED to exist".  Real life is a bit more tricky.  In my books, I enjoy the "all is well that ends well" approach.  Because at the end of the day, don't we all WANT that ending that allows us closure and comfort knowing our favorite characters are safe and sound and will be around for the sequel?

In real life, especially in love, our happily ever afters don't always go how we want, and more times than not, our happily ever after really depends on another person.  Will prince charming show up on his white steed, and the two of you ride off into a sunset together?!  Or will you kiss a frog and your frog just stays a frog and you wind up with warts on your lips for life?  Point being, in fairy-tales and in real life, happily ever after begins with magic, and it's that magic that sometimes, leaps off the pages of our childhood fairy-tales, and makes an appearance in our real life story.

Last night was a night like any other.  The chickens were nestled all snug in their coop.  Jerimy and I spent the day working on mowing, pulling weeds, I cooked some sketchy Parmesan crusted chicken from Aldi's that I'm still not entirely sure if I liked or not.  We picked up my new prescription at Rite-Aid, he got a new hood for his truck, and some friends stopped by at dark to visit and pick up the bottles that I sold.  Jerimy built a fire, and after our company left, he and I sat on the yard swing he bought me for our anniversary for some quality time before bed.  The night was dark, and oh so quiet.  I mean, you could of heard a pin drop, which is so bizarre for our back yard because normally there's about forty thousand toads chirping, some raccoons fighting, dogs barking, chickens clucking...road traffic...just trust me when i tell you, it's usually noisy-er.  We remarked at the strangeness of the quiet, and listened intently for something....anything at all to make even a peep.

Jerimy went to put some more wood on the fire, and I looked at my phone and saw the time.  I said to him "It's 11:11, make a wish!"  He replied, "Ok, what'd YOU wish for?" I said, "I'm not telling you!  It won't come true!"  He said "C'mon, just tell me."  And again, I said "No way, I'm not wasting my wish by ruining it!"  he kept on me about it, I kept changing the subject to try to lure him away from my secret wishes.  I mean, EVERYBODY knows you can't tell your wish if you want it to come true!

We kept swinging, and he put his arm around me and I laid my head on his shoulder, it was chilly out, so the warmth of his arm around me made me feel better the minute he put it around me.

"So you going to tell me what you wished for?"  He asked again
"Nope!"  I replied

"C'mon, if you tell me, maybe I'll make it come true."
"Yeah right, what are you a Jeanie in a bottle now?"  I said in a sassy fashion.
He attempted to sing "Jeanie in a bottle by Christina Aguilera but trailed off after like 4 words in....I helped him with some of the lyrics...we both snickered at the idea of two grown ass adults, trying to sing a Christina Aguilera song in the dark of our back yard at 11:00 p.m. on a Sunday that neither of us have heard since the early 2000's...and not very well I might add!

I stood up to warm my butt cheeks by the fire, Jerimy stayed on the swing.  I tried to coax him into the house to go to bed but he insisted we stay out and enjoy the fire and the night.  So I sat back down with him, and suddenly the night was no longer silent, I heard one of my favorite sounds...Our owls began to hoot somewhere back in the woods behind us.  Two of them, hooting back and forth, exchanging a secret conversation that couldn't be decoded, but in my mind, I just know it's a Male and Female, calling out for one another.  Both had very distinctive calls that allow us to tell them apart.  It's an excellent thing to be a part of, just swinging and listening to owls hoot sweet nothings at each other in the darkness.

Jerimy gave me a smooch, and then another....good kisses, the kind that make you feel a bit woozy, like you might fall over er' something.  Jerimy's kisses are crazy good like that.  Since the very first one over four years ago, he's been making me dizzy with smooches ever since.

He held out his hand which held a little white box and he opened it and he said "is this what you wished for?"  All the wind was sucked right out of me, and my eyeballs were unable to blink for a moment.  I finally said "What is that?  I can't see whats in it, it's dark!"  then I immediately said "Are you F*cking with me right now?"  (I'm super smooth aren't I?)

He said "this isn't a joke"
Me:  "is this really happening?  Is that real?"
Him:  "Yes, this is really happening"
"Can I touch it?" I asked
Him:  "Of course, Will you?" he asked as he pulled it out of the box and placed it on my finger...
I was in total shock, and then I said:  "But you're not even 40!"  {he always told me he wasn't getting married until he was 40!}  He laughed at that.

With the ring on my finger, he said "Will you marry me?"
Me:  "Oh my god, I can't believe you actually want to marry me!?"  and I hugged him and kissed him, and hugged him and kissed him some more, and then I said "Pinch ME!!!"  and he did, and I said "ouch" and kissed him intensely.

you could of knocked me over with a feather!  I've never been more happy and stunned all at the same time in my LIFE!

You guys all remember how happy I was when we got the house, take that times about a thousand, and THAT is how happy I was last night.

"Since we're getting married in the back yard, I thought I should propose here too." he admitted as I sat there still dumbfounded.

Today, on my finger is a solitaire diamond ring, white gold and perfect in every way.  I still cannot believe this is really happening.  I mean, how many times in your life, do you actually GET to be with the love of your life?!  How lucky does one person have to be, to get their hearts desire?  How many times does a guy propose and his girlfriend say "Are you f*cking kidding me?"

If I were any happier, my face would burst open from so much intense smiling, cupids would fly out shooting arrows and floating hearts, and then I'd float up into the clouds and into the stratosphere, fueled by sheer joy, unlike anything I've ever known or felt before.

He loves me and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.
In good times and in bad times, through happy times and sometimes sad times, there's nobody in the world, that I want to go through life with like him!  He's "my person"....and officially, I'm about to be his "officially"...

I'm delirious from lack of sleeping last night, and from indescribable happiness.

If this is a dream, don't wake me up......EVER!

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

I like Experiments:

I'm no scientist, I'm not precise, or calculated, I suck at Math, but I do so love "EXPERIMENTING"

And before you guys out there get all "raised eyebrow" on me, NO, I"ve never "experimented" with being a lesbian for a night...

...I just haven't done it.  So put that out of your mind so I can continue.

Maybe it's because I grew up on Back to the Future, and Doc Brown was a totally cool, and neat character:
I mean say that, what a fun word!

Or maybe it was because of this guy:  
I don't know, but whatever the case may be, I've always liked to TRY STUFF.
That's my very non-technical, street-lingo for experimentation!
"Try Stuff"
So far, my experience for trying stuff has been primarily "products"...like self tanner (which coincidentally, DID NOT TURN OUT WELL), I've tried new shampoos, sex positions, meditation, Tai Chi, Chi Tea, makeup, hair extensions, moisturizers, Pinterest DIY projects, new recipes, I tried to learn a language on CD (so far I can say Ciao, and belle note - {A TOTAL SUCCESS, worth every Amazon penny spent there!} and wacky food from time to time.....but what I'm about to tell you, is an experiment that even I MAYBE should of been a little more cautious about trying,  Instead of saying: 
"Oh, what the hell....what's the worst that could happen?"
Famous last words of experimental types worldwide.

So all of that leads me to tell you this:  I've always wanted to be hypnotized.
I think the concept is so intriguing.  I've seen it done in public settings, and could have volunteered myself, but if there's one thing I've learned over years of "TRYING STUFF", I learned maiden voyages are best done in private, NOT in front of an audience.  Last thing I need is to wind up singing Celine Dion at the top of my lungs in a room full of strangers...not even if I don't remember doing it.  

I once witnessed my cousin do this at the Allen County Fair....HILARIOUS, but like, if it happened to me,  NOT HILARIOUS!  
I would absolutely die of embarrassment and have to go into hiding until the memory of such an event would quit haunting me!  I'm guessing somewhere between 5 to 25 years based on the sheer magnitude of the embarrassment factor associated.

So being as I'm kind of a cheapskate AND experimental in nature....
I recently began to search online to see if hypnotism is a party trick, or a actual phenomenon that can get results.
THAT is when I stumbled across hypnotism at home!

Wild Right?

Well, I really must say, YOUTUBE is an amazing tool! *laughs*
And before you ask if I just discovered YOUTUBE, NO, I was in on it from the beginning...
however CandyCrush, I ABSOLUTELY REFUSED to give in to...
until last week.
I'm NEVER going to pass level 13!  I mean NEVER!
Clear all the Jelly....WTF is "jelly" anyway?  Why isn't it called Jelly Crush?

So I found all these hypnotism videos on Youtube that allow you to listen to them, and they help you sleep....and then they plant subliminal messages and suggestions to influence your conscious mind the following day.  Last night I tried Session 3 of 3 which was the Weight Loss and Motivation session.  I think it went well.  So lately every night, I've been going to sleep with my ginormous headphones on:

Jerimy makes fun of me....
but I don't care, I'm in a trance when he does,
so I generally don't remember much of it the next day.

But here's the thing, WHAT IF...
this stuff actually works?!?!
WHAT IF.....I am getting hypnotized...
and the hypnotist uses his power for evil instead of sleep and weight loss?
What if these sessions are actually suggesting I become a sleeper cell for some Islamic extremist group?
OR...like....to "suggest" that I empty my bank accounts and give all my money to a TV Envangalist?
OR WORSE YET....What if it SUGGESTS I drink some of Jim Jones' Kool-Aid?!

I mean, I never really thought about it until last night....that I go to bed listening to these things, and I NEVER stay awake long enough to have heard the whole thing play out....it could be telling me ANYTHING....and I'd not know it.
Isn't that just kind of mind blowing to think that I willingly opened my head to a stranger...
a stranger who could suggest I do something I don't want or wouldn't normally do?

So....now that I got all my worries and concerns out of the way....
I'll be pleasantly surprised if I continue to get great sleep AND lose weight and get some extra motivation.
But if say every time someone says "Shazam" I suddenly start baaa'ing like a sheep or dancing a jig or something similarly strange....
Please do me a favor and tell me!
Because, seriously, I won't know I'm doing it!

Sincerely Yours,

{NOTE:  all pictures borrowed with Love from GOOGLE IMAGES.  They are NOT MY OWN"

Friday, May 2, 2014


Phish’s version of Gin & Juice really got me amped up this morning on my way to work….then I looked down at my cup, saw my morning beverage of almond milk, and it snapped me right back to reality…I’m albino, mildly lactose intolerant, and singing about Gin & Juice on my morning commute is the closest I’ll get to drinking it in the morning. Kudos to Snoop Dog or Dre tho!

<3 this song & Version!
Thanks Phish for making my morning commute so TGIF-ERific!



Thursday, May 1, 2014

Going out to my Mother:

So out of my family, I'm probably the slobbiest.  Just ask my little sister Brooke, we shared a room, and she hated it.  I can't help it, I WISH I was a clean freak, but I'm just not.  I grew up playing in the mud, spending more time in the barn than my room, and I liked playing Cops and Robbers with my BOY cousins than playing Barbies.  It's just who I am.

Since J and E and I all moved in together, I've been trying really hard to be more tidy, I come home almost every day from work, and I load or unload the dishwasher, I might vaccum the carpet.  Try to straighten up the crap on the coffee table, pick up dirty socks and round up shoes scattered all over the place and put them in an orderly fashion by either the front or the back doors....but it's a losing battle.  No matter how much I clean, it just gets dirty again.  And let me tell you, it doesn't take a week, it could happen in a half an hour when you have my two dogs George and Chubs roaming the halls!  Those two are just a disaster.

So the other day my mom came over to pick up the sunglasses she left at my house the week before, and in true motherly fashion, she looked around and said, "We really need to give this house a real cleaning."  And before you say "HOW RUDE"....you have to know #1) - my mom loves me.  and #2) she means well, oh and #3) she's right, it COULD use a real good cleaning from top to bottom.

{Here's the plot twist comes in}

So here I am, TRYING to be a better house-woman.....TRYING to amp up my cleanliness....make cleaning a habit instead of a chore.....so that my mom's words of "THIS PLACE IS A PIG STY!" can leave my head...and what do I do?

I woke up this morning to THIS!!!

Meet Miss Ellie.
She's a Pig.
I officially DO live in a Pig Sty now!
Mom!  Didn't see that one coming did ya?!?!

The Story on Ellie is, she belongs to a friend of mine,
but due to some living arrangement issues, etc.
I'm her new foster momma.
Not sure how long she'll be with us, so stop out and enjoy her while she's with us.

the two of them play non-stop!
As for Mr. Chubs, he's not sure WHAT to make of her.
He just looks at her and cocks his head as it he's still trying to figure out WHAT exactly she IS!

So now, we have a ferret (Bandit), 
a turtle (Speedy),
two fish (Daryl & Daryl), two dogs (George and Chubs), and lastly, TEN chickens (Clucky, King Tut, Big Red, Henni, Scrappy, FluffyButt1 and FufflyButt2 and the rest haven't earned a name yet).

(Big Red - to the left)
(Henni is the little cutie there in the middle)
(FluffyButt1 and FluffyButt2" are the two white ones)

We've moved to the country, and the place is going to the birds!....and pigs....and dogs....and fish....the list goes on and on.