A comedy, but a unforgettable message:

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life."

 

Recently, I watched Bridesmaids, and I tell you, what a gritty, wildly insane one minute, but down right poignant the next movie it is!

My absolute favorite part of the movie is this:

Talk about right on the money!  So many people ACCEPT their crummy lives, plop on the couch and say, this is my life, let me wallow in the misery of it....oblivious to the mirror standing in front of them (in this case Megan) trying to show Annie how she looks.  Sometimes we need someone to smack the hell outta of us to make us fight instead of wallow.

I remember a time, a long time ago, when it felt like EVERYTHING was wrong.  I was barely living....I went to work, came home, crawled into bed and pulled the covers over my head and just couldn't seem to do much else.  Life as I knew it was disintegrating, my parents were getting divorced, and not just any old divorce, but like horribly, my life wasn't turning out like I'd thought....and I, like Annie here, was just sitting in the mess, no longer trying, I was just existing among the pieces of what I believed to be my shattered life.  Until Amber Kimmet (Kruse) forced me out of it.  She didn't smack me in the face, or bite my butt like Megan did to Annie, but she did tell me how it was, and tell me that it wasn't ok, what I was doing....pulling away, falling apart, she simply just couldn't allow me to do it anymore, and she told me truthfully, with concern, but also with brutal honesty, that what I was doing, it wasn't cool.  And I've always thought to myself, that she sure must of really loved me to be willing to put the boots on, get right down in the muck with me and pull me the hell out of it.  But Amber did, and I always think about that when I think of her, she was a bright spot in a very dark time.


There's a saying:

 

At this time, I just want to say thank you to ALL the mirrors in my life (you guys sure know who you are), the people who have loved me THROUGH everything I've ever had happen to me.  For not letting me get to the point where I find myself looking into the face of a friend and complaining that I don't have any friends.....

Friends are an unbelievable gift, that I truly DO NOT know how people get through life without them.  I can't imagine where I'd be without mine, my mirrors.

God bless em for nobody else in the world would have no problem saying "Annie, you're an asshole!"....*laughs* and still love you even though you are one!

The people who fight with you....so often times are the ones who fight FOR you.

And THANK GOD for that.

You know something else about mirrors, if you shine a light into one, that light shines back out, so if you haven't brightened the day of one of your pals, take a minute, and give em a shout out....we're all pains in the asses sometimes, so it's really nice when you can shine light into the person who so many times, has shared THEIR light with you when you were running low on your own.

With much Gratitude,

~Heather Lynn~

Here's a Thought...or Twelve.

Well my lovelies, what shall we talk about today?

Chick-fil-A?

the fact that I'm thinking perhaps I'm un-American because I watch old episodes of Grey's Anatomy instead of the Olympics....

or....

Lets see...what else is there....

Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is "keeping things simple".....

Sounds easy right, but we humans are just too damned complicated for our own good sometimes aren't we?!

We make mountains out of molehills, we let our emotions get the best of us, and holy moses, our tempers can flare sometimes just because we're hungry, or the humidity's making us "sticky".  We ARE temperamental creatures.

Recently, I was totally holding on to some things that I knew I shouldn't, I kept telling myself, SHUT UP, GET OVER IT ALREADY!!, but there it was, continuing to eat at me and eat at me until I finally unloaded on someone close to me, and man, I tell you, when I heard my whining and complaining and expression of discontent pouring out of my mouth, I was like..."HOLY CRAP, Heather, Would you listen to yourself!?!"

The person I shared my discontent with was of course like "wow, you seem really angry!"  and I was like..."I guess I kinda am!"

My friend was like..."do you want me to.....{insert helpful solution here}...and I was like ..."No...no, it's fine"

And my friend was like "you don't seem like it's fine....."  and of course she was right, in the moment of all of my angst runneth over, I wasn't fine....but once I was done with telling her everything, and she offered to try and help me...I was like..."Nah, you already have....I guess I just needed to say it out loud".  Be vulnerable.  Ever notice how hard that is, to just really be vulnerable and let someone see your insides when they are ugly?  But, once it was out....I felt amazingly better.  My "issue" really wasn't an issue anymore.

Isn't that funny how something so simple, like um, just talking shrinks a mountain into a molehill once again?  I'm convinced that communication is the gateway to wherever you want to go.

But back to keeping it simple....why do we make things so complicated?  Why do we put so much time and effort worrying, bottling things up......?

My good and amazing friend Donna has really been a Godsend to me here lately, I'm a worrier by nature, it's in my DNA, no kidding, I got the worrying gene....and the more I love something, the more important something or someONE is to me, the more I worry about it, the more I worry, the more unstable my emotional state is.  Sure, I've had 34 years of learning how to keep it together at work, in social settings, but you put me alone in bed at night, in my car, in the shower...those moments when nobody's watching, nobody's around....and BAM!  It's like worry fest!  There have been times when the only thing I know to do is to drown OUT the sounds in my head...play loud music, run a belt sander...WRITE, something...anything to escape the reality of the state of my mind!

I swear it's not my intention to be neurotic, and all garbled up by an overactive melon....I think it's just how I'm wired....but what's really interesting about that is that we really do have the ability to be our own electricians.  If you're wired wrong like I am, there's hope.....grab a handful of these:

and get tweaking!  That's tweaking, not tweeting!  Stay with me.....don't open Twitter....if you did, go ahead and close that window now, okay?!  Ok, good.  Now that you're back....

I want to share with you the following quotes:

“There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts.” 

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That's the only thing you should be trying to control.” 

Isn't that something....the idea that THOUGHTS are ours, and damnit if we want, we can learn to control them, instead of them controlling us?!  How amazing is that?!

Elizabeth Gilbert said those things in her book and the Movie "Eat Pray Love"....and while many people did not particularly care for that movie, I've always appreciated it for what it was....maybe not a blockbuster to many, but it packed a punch, right in the gut and right in the forehead on how to deal with yourself, when you're kinda ugly or messed up inside.  We're all that sometimes aren't we?  Reckless.....lost, worried, disappointed, overly analytical?!  Maybe you're not, but I totally can be.  Like for instance, I have a really bad habit of being totally self destructive...when my head's a mess, it's my natural tendency to make my body feel as bad....I smoke cigarettes like it's my job, I can't eat, I can't sleep, pretty soon, my outsides start to resemble my insides and I'm not only half a mess, Oh, I'm a whole mess!  Why on earth does that ever seem like a good idea to do to oneself? 

When you can figure out how to "keep it simple".....I think you get this really awesome thing called "peace"...not "world peace", not a "piece of the pie"...or "a piece"...(which I will say, DOES help calm that mind RIGHT on down, I recommend this, use as needed)....but the kind of peace that gives you calm.  And that calm takes hold and pushes out the nervousness, the jittery worries of things you have no real hope of changing anyhow, and yet we worry.....

Why couldn't I have been born zen?! *laughs*....I think sometimes the most I know actually ABOUT Zen, is how to spell it.  It is spelled Z-E-N isn't it?

I guess if my mind wasn't a bucket of random thoughts and roller coaster emotions.....I'd likely log in here to post simple sentiments of harmony and tranquility.....and we all know, that stuff might fly in the self help aisle, but fiction....to write fiction, you gotta be a little whacked out at times! *smirks*

So what this whole random rambling comes down to is that in life, when the tidal wave of whatever's bugging you starts to wash your rational self away....I tell myself, and you.....try to "Keep it simple"....and to "just keep swimming..." if you can do that, you'll never drown.

Happy Thursday to you and yours,

~Heather Lynn~

Wetzel 2012

The problem with Wetzel is what happens at Wetzel, doesn't stay at Wetzel.

Wetzel looks very much like a red carpet event there's so much paparazzi!  Camera's flashing with amazing speed in the hands of wide eyed and stoned slitted eyed fascination.  Except Wetzel's red carpet doesn't have movie stars, instead there are naked people with interesting piercings and tattoos.  Some nakedness that's pleasing to the eye, (pretty topless hula hooping lady) while others being enough to make you go blind if you were to look at it for too long!

If what happened at Wetzel, stayed at Wetzel I wouldn't have a particularly quite graphic scene that keeps playing in my mind, that a gallon of Clorox and shock therapy couldn't cleanse me from witnessing.....

And while I am plagued by the vision of what I saw, I'm fairly certain, there's a couple guys' penises that are either burning when they pee, or falling off by what I saw them do with them. 

One good thing though that comes from witnessing such things is that I can look at my own life, and reflect, and say to myself, Giiirl, no matter what wrong choices you have made in your life, at least you've made better choices than those people are making right now, right in front of you.  So that's good right?  Also, I wasn't alone in witnessing what I did, I sat next to Jerimy's friend "Chubby", who I really must say, there's nothing like witnessing a live gang bang to really bond two people for life.  I feel like he and I have been in the trenches together, and while we both may be scarred for life, I do feel as though it brought us closer. *laughs and snorts a little*  The more I'm around Jerimy's friends, the more I like them...

So many people ask me, WHY DO YOU LIKE GOING TO A PLACE LIKE THAT?!  And honestly, it's just one of those things that I can't entirely put my finger on.  It's a feeling, an energy I think that you get from a place like that.  To be surrounded by people who are so free.....and unrestrained, and even reckless....you can't help but feel the energy 10,000 people like that will emit.

With no cops on the grounds, and it being private property, the rules of society don't exactly apply.  With tall fences sectioning you off from the outside world, when you're at Wetzelland, you're no longer in the REAL world, you're somewhere else entirely!

I love all the bikes, and the music, and the tattoos.

This year was the first year I rode through those gates on my own Harley, and let me tell you, that's one badass feeling to know that you've arrived.  I've always wanted a Harley of my own, I've always wanted to one day ride into Wetzel on my own two wheels, and I've finally done it.  I actually have had one of my life long dreams come true.  How's that for summertime awesomeness?

My little Piglet took me there and back, safe, sound, with a few bruises, but all in one piece.

Looking forward to 2013.

~Heather Lynn~

A special thank you going out to Jerimy, for being the person I ride beside.  Well, sometimes I ride behind him, but that's mostly just because he's fast and sometimes I have trouble keeping up. *smiles*

I'm so happy that when I go on life's little adventures like this, HE's the one that's with me.

<3

Pleasantries:

There's a saying:  "Today, Give a stranger one of your smiles, for it might be the only sunshine he sees all day"....

I'm a firm believer in the unsolicited smile.  I given em out like Family Planning gives out condoms on planned parenthood talk day in High School.  Perhaps that's a bad analogy.....

Regardless...yesterday while tromping down the stairs headed for home after my 8 hour shift, I was coming down the second story flight, while a woman was clip-clopping up from the Lower Level.  I looked down at her, she looked up at me, and we exchanged a smile.  She said Hello, I said Hello and then I countered with "I love your shoes!" and she said "I LOVE your hair!"  We looked at each other warmly as our compliments to one another sank in, and then we walked out into the parking lot together until we headed off in our separate ways.

I've seen this women many times around the building, always seemed friendly, and today I was glad to have shared the stairwell and our exchange of pleasantries.

Of course this was all nearly thrown out the window when she pulled out of her parking place right in front of me from behind a large SUV that she couldn't see around, and I about plowed her with my neon!  Poor thing would'a been squished like a bug!  Good thing she loved my hair and I her shoes, because instead of her flipping me off, and me throwing my arms violently in the air, she waved and I waved her out of her space allowing her to go on out in front of me.  I don't much like getting flipped off, I try and avoid it when I can.

So the moral of the story, sharing a smile with someone's pretty cool.    And breaks on my car, they are pretty cool too.

~Heather Lynn~

The Value of things:

It's raining, it's dark out....and the climate for relationships seems to match the weather these days.  Dark and dreary.

Recently, there has been an outbreak of breakups among the ranks of couples I know.  It seems like you can't swing a stick without hitting someone who's in the process of breaking up.  And I it saddens me so.  I hate to see these unions end.  Especially when both people are good people, and both people at one time loved each other....so you have to ask...."Where does the love go? 

Where does the good go?"

Once upon a time, I got married, and I did it all wrong, I married someone impulsively, with the absurd notion that "if it don't work out, we'll just get divorced!"  Yes, folks, he and I actually made that agreement before we got married!  *Slaps myself in the forehead*...what in the hell was I thinking?  I understand that it's a logical determination...I mean, IF it didn't work out, the natural outcome would be we'd get divorced, with the divorce rate being at 50%, it's not a shocking thing when a marriage ends, but still......where does the good go?

I asked that question again last night.....to Jerimy I said "How do you go from proposing, wanting to spend THE REST of your life with someone one minute, and then letting them walk right out of your life the next?  How does that even happen?"

Is it Pride?  Is it discontent?  Or is it something else?

I was married for six years, and while we were basically strangers when we walked down the aisle together, after only 6 weeks of dating.....I feel that we gave it better than the old college try.  Six years of "trying"....is a dang good effort I think, and I don't regret my ex's and I's failed marriage, it was a lesson in life and love that I couldn't of gotten any other way.  I'm a better person for it, and I'm sure he is too.  Young dumb kids get married after only 6 weeks of knowing each other, and they gained the lesson of a lifetime.  You can't get that kind of education in school, when you learn shit the hard way, you RETAIN that knowledge.

Another half of a couple that is throwing in the towel said to the other, "you're the best I've ever had"....well then why the hell are you letting "THE BEST" walk out the door?  Why are we so willing to "let go" of something that at one time, made us the happiest we've ever been?  Is it just easier to start over with someone else instead of fighting for the person you've invested so much time, love and energy to?

Is LOVE not worth fighting for anymore? 

Is Family not so important as to think it's better torn apart? 

Where does the good go?

Now I'm not saying some couples shouldn't go their separate ways, there most certainly are, I was half of a couple that needed to, so I know when trying isn't enough, when fundamental effort isn't enough, but in my case, that's because I was only half the equation.  I could of tried til I was blue in the face, but if the other person wasn't trying too, it wouldn't of ever made a difference.  When one person gives and the other person takes, someone's going to run empty while the other one runs over.  It's just the way it is.

To those of you breaking up....and you know who you are, I'm so sorry for the loss and stress and hurt that you must be feeling.  I wish this wasn't happening to you.  I wish that love had been enough.  If it's the right thing, you'll find peace in your decision/situation, if it's the wrong thing, you'll find regret, but either way, you're going to learn a lot about yourself, you're going to FEEL everything one minute and be numb the next.  Life is going to pull you and push you in directions and you won't always know up from down, but one thing that is certain, is that life has just dealt you a valued lesson.  After all the hurt subsides, and the anger and resentment fade, you'll know what to take away from it.

It took a long time to be able to say I wasn't mad at my ex for not loving me enough, or not giving enough to our relationship.  I felt like I'd given so much, and he'd given so little....but in the end, his lack of giving actually GAVE me the freedom to put down my work gloves, dust myself off and say, enough now.  That's enough Heather.  You've given it your all, you've done all that you can.  But it's just not enough to make a wrong thing right anymore.

In my relationship question of "where does the good go?"  My "good" came in the form of KNOWING myself in a very honest, very accountable way that I hadn't before.  Accepting myself for who I was, the good, the bad, the failures and everything I was and everything I wasn't.  Self acceptance and self awareness are sometimes forced upon you when everything else falls apart around you.  The "Good" that came from my heartbreak, was the ability to be completely honest with myself about who I was, and to stop trying to be the person people might of thought I was, or wanted me to be.  I was not the perfect daughter, the perfect wife, the perfect sister or friend.  I wasn't good at living up to the standards of others, and once I stopped trying, wow, talk about taking a load off!  Whew!  I was finally free to be me, the whole me and nothing but the me!

*laughs*

"me, me, me...."

I swear I'm not as self centered as that sounds....

but when you don't know WHO you are, "ME" is something you have to dedicate a lot of time to uncovering.

What's that saying, "To rise from the ashes of the Phoenix"....which means to be destroyed, turned to ash and be reborn from those remainders of yourself.  Relationships are the fires that burn you, what's left is sometimes the best gift of all.....a new beginning.  If you can't find the "good" in each other anymore, let your "good" be hope and faith in yourself, that you can be reborn, a little of the old you, a lot of knowledge needed for the new you, but no matter how lost you feel, you will not lose you.  YOU are still in there....and YOU will come back out on the other side of this.  Take your time, we'll all be right here waiting patiently until YOU make it back.  And you will.

I leave you with Sara Evans.  I sang this song at the top of my lungs today on the way to work....you might as well too.

Don't ask questions, just sing!  Trust me.

Luv,

~Heather Lynn~

Learn Something New Everyday:

Recently I learned a new term:  "Cat Calling".  Which can be defined as:

When a guy gives the wert whirl whistle or yells at a babydoll for the purpose of getting attention and in hopes of a future hookup. This is usually done out of the window of a car. Typically a Pontiac Firebird, or Camaro.

There was a whole segment on one of those Entertainment shows about what it's like to be a woman walking down the streets of NYC, getting unsolicited attention from men.

They sent a pretty redhead walking down the street, wearing a lovely dress that hugged her hips and accented all her womanly assets.  Nothing too provocative, but striking nonetheless.

As she walked along, men called out to her.  Over and over again, no matter where she went, she was hollered at, whistled at, stared down, approached, targeted, etc. by the men on the street.

The crazy part is when the news camera and reporter popped out and then asked the guys why they said what they did, what they hoped to come of it, and if they were single.

Many of them weren't single.  Most of them admitted that they did NOT receive much luck in obtaining "hook ups" with girls they cat called-out to...and most of them when asked, "If this was your mother, your sister, your DAUGHTER walking out here, would you want strange men calling out to them, saying the things you've said?"  They all looked embarrassed and said "No, I guess I wouldn't".

Here at my office, the Adult probation office used to be right next door, so many times as I made my way from my Court to the Courthouse down the street, men would approach me, say things like "daaaamn baby!" and "niiiiiice" and "Oh the things I'd do with YOU!"  Which I'm no supermodel, so if it's being said to me, it's being said to all women everywhere I'm sure. 

I know it's supposed to be a "compliment", but mostly, cat calling makes me feel "unsafe", "nervous", "uncomfortable", "creeped out", "harassed" and "skiddish".

What is it about some men that has them being so loose lipped to women they don't know?  Why is cat calling exclusive to men?  I've never heard a woman call out to a man on the street the way men do.

Care to share your cat calling experiences anyone?

Has it ever worked on you, or guys, worked FOR you?

I'm curious!

Talk to me.

~Heather Lynn~

This might make me unpopular...but....

To all the gun haters out there, you won't like what I'm about to post, but I'm going to say it anyway: If conceal and carry permit holders were allowed to carry their guns with them inside businesses, the world would be a safer place. There aren't enough police to be everywhere when you need them, but all it takes is ONE good Samaritan to protect an entire room full of strangers. Bad guys need to know, they are NOT the only guy with a gun in the room.

This video is very worth watching....a 63 year old man, protects his wife, and everyone around him. There's honor in that

In Honor of a Soldier:

Once upon a time, in a land far in my past, I met a girl.  She sat in front of me in Legal Research and Writing 101.  She was very unique looking I remember upon first noticing her.  She had a tattoo, wonderfully interesting eyes, and very distinct facial features.  I sat next to Kayla, my college friend who hated everyone upon first glace, and I remember Kayla making a snide comment about the girl and I felt instinctively protective of her....I wanted to protect her from anything negative, without even knowing her, I knew that one day I would.

Her name was Melissa, and a couple years later, I was a bridesmaid in her wedding!  Never even met the groom until a day or two before the big day.  His name was Chris Terry.  Upon meeting HIM, I thought to myself, so this is Melissa's Chris.  The soldier, the object of her love and devotion.....I stared at him for the longest time.

I'd heard so much about this man, I'd grown to know him through Melissa's eyes, and now I was seeing him for the first time with my own eyes....and I was curious about him.  After all, he was about to turn my dearest friend in a wife, and a soldier's wife at that!

Through the years, I've only grown more affectionate towards Chris and Melissa as a couple, and they ARE unlike any couple I've ever known.  They truly, truly know the meaning of true love.  Undying devotion, partnership, to honor, to cherish, they do all of that and more.  They have always made me proud to know them and call them my friends....no time more, than now.

You see Chris has been diagnosed with Leukemia, and is and has been fighting for his life against this aggressive disease this year.  He's a soldier, he's a son, a husband, a daddy to little fur face Burt, their pooch, he's not just guy, he's "the man"....and every time I think about the amount of courage, and strength it takes to fight for one's country....and then FIGHT for one's life....all while having a smile on his face, it makes my throat get all tight, and eyes get all watery, and my heart feels swollen and I'm overwhelmed with emotion.  It's been like this since Melissa told me the very disheartening news of the rocky road that lay ahead of them.

My Melissa is just not Chris's wife, she's his biggest supporter, she's his best friend, she's is "person"...and I know that for her, there isn't anything she wouldn't do for Chris, I think she proved that when she shaved her head to show her undying support to him:

{She is an amazing woman....absolutely endearing isn't she?}

Recently, there have been pictures surfacing on the Facebook Page that was created for Chris, it's called "Updates on Chris kicking Cancer's Butt"....Melissa has been really good about keeping us in the loop as to everything that goes on, almost AS it's going on....but here recently, the updates being posted are pictures are of people doing a push-up, holding little signs that says "Push-up for Sgt. Terry"....and again, throat tight, heart swollen, eyes watery!  This to me, is so symbolic, it's so heartfelt, that I could not help but to share it with all of you.  We are helpless to take this ailment away FOR Chris, but we CAN give him a push-UP while he's being bogged down.

For those of you who are friends with me on Facebook, I've started an Album there with the pictures so far, I would ask that should it be on your heart, to have it in you, to give my friend "Super Chris" a PUSH-UP....Go and post it there.  I fully intend to add mine as soon as I can get someone to take the picture for me.

To those who submitted pictures already, you all have hearts of gold and thank you for the support you offer Chris and Melissa, and for the inspiration you showed me....and hopefully everyone who reads this post.

Life is so short, and cancer touches so many....my Aunt Mary is also fighting the fight (Love you Aunt Mary)....so if you have the time, say a prayer for those who suffer, those who struggle, those who are in pain and those who get up each and every day and say "Not today Cancer....you're not taking me today..you're not taking me period!"

I hope these pictures touch you and offer you hope and strength and optimism and LOVE....like they did me.  In a world full of chaos, and political agenda's and everything else that stifles us, somewhere, someone's on their hands and knees/toes, giving a fellow human a push-UP!  I want to be among THESE people.

I always knew, from the first time I saw Melissa, that I would protect her in any way I could....I cannot protect her from this, but your prayers for her, for Chris, THEY have the ability to change lives, to change the world.  Keep these two amazing, WORTHY people in your prayers won't you?  And my Aunt Mary too!

Thank you very much in advance, I will forever be grateful for any support/prayers you can spare.

Sincerely,

~Heather Lynn~

Lima Locations I Like:

DESTINATION #1 - LIMA PUBLIC LIBRARY

Oh, how I love the library!  The smell of the books, the low quiet hum of computers and pages being turned...I'm a big fan.

However, the "Lima Public Library" has an element about it that kinda freaks me out.  Like today for example, I went to go pick up the next book in the Janet Evanovich Series "Smokin' Seventeen" and as I surveyed the room while making my way over to check my book out, this guy locks eyes with me, he practically waved his arms to get my attention, I looked at him and he dramatically raised and lowered his eyebrows at me, instantly it reminded me of "the man with the gun" from Adventures in babysitting, here's a clip to refresh your memory should you need it:

I quickly looked away from him as if I hadn't seen him.  While I never looked directly at him again after that, I could see that he watched me very intensely as I perused the new Fiction section just before leaving the Library.  Odd right....?  What's even MORE odd, is what happened to me the time BEFORE today....

I walked up to the front door of the building, a young man was coming out of the revolving door as I approached, he stopped and stood motionless as I made my way around him and into a slot in the glass revolving door.  I heard him say as I began to go...."Well hell, with a view like this, I'm gonna have to take me another spin!" and he hopped in the slot behind me and instead of exiting the door into the library like I had, he spun back to the outside and again, stood alone on the sidewalk watching me from the other side of the glass.

I was like, how odd!  I got my book, checked out, and when I came back out, same gentlemen standing right where I'd last saw him, this time he says to me...."Daaaaamn, aint you a sweet thang!"...followed by "guuuuuuuurl, you got it going on!"  I smiled politely, gave the sincere head nod of acceptance of his compliment and made my way across the parking lot back to my vehicle.

He waved at me as I drove out of the lot.  But that's not the end of the story.....a half hour later, the same gentlemen was standing in the lobby of my office.  White shirt, baggy pants, same big smile.  I was caught off guard when I looked over to see him standing there behind 4 inches of bulletproof glass looking at me, smiling.  I was like, this town's too big to be the same guy I saw at the Library, but it was him.  As I approached the window and said "Can I help you?"  He said, "Hello AGAIN!"

Me:  "Hello" while looking confused....

Him:  "I have an appointment with {insert name}"

Me:  You must be at the wrong office, this is the Court of Appeals, you might want to check upstairs with the prosecutor's office, perhaps that's where you need to be?

Him:  "yessssss ma'am....and I'll be seeing...YOU...around!" and he pointed at me, winked, smiled big and wide, and as he walked away, he walked backwards never breaking his stare until he loaded into the elevator and the door closed behind him.

Had he followed me from the library?  And why would he?  I'm far from pretty enough to warrant a mid-afternoon-mid-work-week stalking.  Was it purely coincidence?  I don't know, but I continue to go back to the library, the draw of free books, the smell of the paper, the long aisles of shelves with mundane carpeting....they keep me coming back time and time again.

Guess my love of books is stronger than my fear of creepy guys! 

*smiles*

"Never let the creep factor of others keep you from the joys of life."

"Walk softly and carry big pepper spray."

"A book in the hand is better than creepy guys in a bush...."

Wait, I don't think I'm getting these quite right....

Stopping before things get out of hand,

~Heather Lynn~

Date Night:

The best dates I've ever had, have NOT been dinner and a movie.  Maybe I'm too nontraditional for that.

Friday night, Jerimy and I decided to go out for a ride on our motorcycles together.  I was really looking forward to our time together.  It'd been a long week by the time Friday rolled around, and a night spent with him, doing anything sounded great.

At the last minute, Jerimy's friend Matt mentioned riding along with us with his fiance Josey...and by 10:30 p.m. we were on our bikes, about to head out into the night together.

Jerimy asked where I wanted to go, and I said, The Aqueduct!  It's my newest most favoritest place currently.  I'd already been there earlier in the week, but I'd not been there at night time since I was a little girl, so it sounded appealing.

As we headed out in that direction, I got up next to Jerimy and said "Lets go to Bloody Bridge First!"  He nodded over the roar of our dual engines and we continued to drive off into the pitch darkness of night, guided only by our headlamps, and a vague familiarity of the area....which remarkably looks not just like a different landscape, but like a different WORLD after dark.

There was no moon, yet we managed to eventually arrive at our destination.  BLOODY BRIDGE!

I took this picture many years ago, but it is of the monument that sits along side of the bridge, telling the grizzly tale of a love triangle gone wrong, and a man wielding an ax, beheading his adversary.  Pretty neat for rural no-where's-ville Ohio!  Matt and Josey had never been out this way, and didn't know the story of the bridge, or even of it's existence, so Jerimy and I were happy to bring them up to speed.  As it neared midnight, we decided to wait and see if some of the stories were true, if in fact at midnight, you could hear the voices of the ghosts of Blood Bridge.  We're no ghost hunters, but we are curious people, and it was Friday the 13th, and we had nowhere to be, so Bloody Bridge we figured was as good a place as any to hang out awhile.

We waited ....counting down the minutes until midnight....shuffling nervously, yet bravely around the bridge, under and on top, along side, etc.  We shined our flashlights, and told ghost stories we'd heard over our lifetimes to one another until it was 11:58 p.m. on Friday the 13th, standing in the dark, the four of us on a desolate bridge.  We fell silent as we waited out the next two minutes.

the seconds ticked down.....nobody made a sound.  As midnight hit, we held our breath....and then.....

......

......

...............................

Nothing! 

Absolutely not a bloody thing!

ha,ha

So we said, "Ah, well lets head down to the Aqueduct!"

And we did.

Which was nice, the water's roar, drowned out the noise in my head from the long week, just like the roar of my Harley's engine....We paired off, Josey and Matt sat quietly together along the falls on one side, while Jerimy and I sat close on the other.  We talked, and sat together, and I was in heaven.  The long and trying week, had chewed me up early on, and at the week's end, it spit me back out right next to Jerimy, in nature, under a dark yet starry night, sitting close to one another and still.....together.

Which if you ask me, is the THE BEST place on earth to be.

~Heather Lynn~

My brother said "I'd rather be madly in love with someone who I occasionally fight with for 4 days straight, than to be with someone who I don't fight with, but am NOT crazy about."

And I agree with him.  As painstaking as it is to be at odds with the person you love, I TOO would rather be crazy about someone 97% of the time, and at odds 3%, than to only love them 3% of the time and NEVER quarrel.

Lots going on in the relationships around me these days, it seems like everyone's breaking up, some people slow and miserably, others, simply move out and on before the other person gets home to find them gone....it's just a mess out there.

I feel horrible for those who are suffering through these terrible times of having their hearts broken, having to learn how to pick up the pieces and try to start over again.  Starting over is one of the hardest things to want to do, when the misery that is laying in your mess and feeling miserable seems like the only thing you are capable of anymore.

A lot of sadness in the air....a lot of souls just trying to get through the day.....and when you ARE madly in love with someone, it's hard not to be scared to death at times that one day this could happen to you too.  But then there's that optimistic hope that your relationship is different, stronger.

  A hope that thankfully exists, because without it, humans would never willingly set them selves up for having their hearts broken ever again after the first time it happens to them.

My philosophy is this:  "If you always try and put the person you love's needs, desires, wants, etc. front and center, if you always take time, and pleasure in making THEM happy, and they do the same for you, you don't have to be self serving.....you give to them, they give to you, you love them, they love you.  You get back what you put in.  Nobody goes without what they want and need from the relationship, because the two partners are seeing to it that the wants and needs of each partner are met...and the crazy thing, if you're lucky, you BOTH will find joy in making the other one as happy as they make you."

Now, there are times each person can stray from this philosophy, sometimes it's because life gets crazy, or when one party feels slighted, but the important thing, is that after each fight, you wipe the slate clean, and began again with a willing and giving spirit.

And if you're extremely lucky, you'll find yourself in a relationship with someone you ALWAYS want to start again with.  No matter how many times it takes.

~Heather Lynn~

Friday, the freaking 13th it tis:

Yep, while doing a little online research to the mythical folklore of Friday the 13th, I finally realized why in the past I've have such atrocious luck....and as it turns out...I'm cursed.

LEGEND HAS IT: If 13 people sit down to dinner together, one will die within the year. The Turks so disliked the number 13 that it was practically expunged from their vocabulary (Brewer, 1894). Many cities do not have a 13th Street or a 13th Avenue. Many buildings don't have a 13th floor. If you have 13 letters in your name, you will have the devil's luck (Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, Theodore Bundy and Albert De Salvo all have 13 letters in their names). There are 13 witches in a coven. (http://urbanlegends.about.com)

So my name...Heather Osting, guess how many letters that has...yeah, go ahead and count em...THIRTEEN!

So I join in the ranks of Charles Manson, Theodore Bundy Alber De Salvo....Jeffrey Dahmer!!! C'mon, dang-it, I don't want to be lumped in with those psychos!

Although, if ever I was looking for an explanation for my series of unfortunate events in my life....I suppose I have discovered a scapegoat. A reason for my misfortune. And I'm going to kick my mom's butt for this....any expectant mothers out there....take note, don't give your daughter the luck of the devil....do the math, check your numbers and check them twice...it just may determine if your child is naughty or nice...as i clearly was very naughty growing up!

WAIT! HOLD THE PHONE.....upon further research...maybe I'm wrong....I just did a little more research and look at what it says:

"Devil's Luck"(The): Astounding good luck. Persons always lucky were thought at one time to have compounded with the Devil.

“You won't have to pay his annuity very long; you have the Devil's luck in bargains, always.” -
Dickens.

But would we say Charlie Manson was lucky? Or Jeffrey Dahmer..I mean that dude was beat to death in prison....*scratches head*... So which is it, am I lucky or predetermined to be a serial killer? All these superstitions are conflicting.

Oh, and listen to this...I found this story highly entertaining:

LEGEND HAS IT: Never change your bed on Friday; it will bring bad dreams. Don't start a trip on Friday or you will have misfortune. If you cut your nails on Friday, you cut them for sorrow. Ships that set sail on a Friday will have bad luck – as in the tale of H.M.S. Friday ... One hundred years ago, the British government sought to quell once and for all the widespread superstition among seamen that setting sail on Fridays was unlucky. A special ship was commissioned, named "H.M.S. Friday." They laid her keel on a Friday, launched her on a Friday, selected her crew on a Friday and hired a man named Jim Friday to be her captain. To top it off, H.M.S. Friday embarked on her maiden voyage on a Friday, and was never seen or heard from again.

Hence why you don't mess with things you don't understand. If I've got the devil's luck, well then I got it....now....it's up to me to use to for good instead of evil, and hope like hell I don't piss the devil off in the process.

Happy Friday the 13th all! Strap on your crash helmet, wear your seat belt and throw some salt over your shoulder for good measure!

~Heather Lynn~

Messy:

Whoever said silence is golden, obviously has never been in my shoes.

Yesterday as I was getting ready for work, I was shaking my liquid foundation to apply it to my makeup applicator sponge, and the dang thing flew out of my hands and holy moses, makeup when flying everywhere, all over the wall in 4 different places.  It began to run as I began to run for the bathroom to find something to clean it up with.

If you've ever spilt foundation, you know that as soon as you start to smear it around to try and wipe it up, the mess gets bigger, the disaster expands and begins to make a mess out of nearby things.....the more you try to fix it, the bigger your mess seems to become.

You're in a race against time, clean before it drys and it's even HARDER to clean it up, clean before it stains, and ruins everything it touches.

when life gets messy, sometimes, no matter how hard you try to clean it up, you only find yourself making yourself an even bigger mess.

It doesn't matter that all you wanted to do was to put the makeup on your face, it doesn't matter that you've done this every morning for years, it doesn't matter that you thought you were holding securely to the bottle, all that matters is that it slipped right out of your hands, and in an instant, was soaring away from you with amazing speed and then crashed and fell to the floor.

Sometimes the best intentions, the most heartfelt effort....only leaves you standing alone in your bedroom, sobbing over spilt makeup and all the other messes we make in life.

~Heather Lynn~

The Park Chronicles - Day 2

So I went back to the park today, hoping to find my little kitty friend once again, but only found a very angry squirrel instead.  And for as small as those little buggers are, they sure can put on a fierce act...and militant too!  He criss-crossed strategically back and forth behind me, edging closer and closer with each pass, chirping and violently shaking his bushy tail at me.  Sadly, he didn't eventually warm up to me and then climb in my lap and make nice....so that was a bit of a let down from yesterday's pleasant experience, however, I wasn't left empty handed from my visit today, I'm fairly certain I might of been parked behind a "bait car"...you know those police sting operations where they sit a vehicle out, doors unlocked, throw a laptop in the back and wait for someone to steal it?  Well I pulled up today in my shady spot of yesterday to find this:

A mini van, temporary tags, with the sliding door and passenger door wide open.  For 40 minutes, the van sat undisturbed.  No people shuffling about anywhere to be seen nearby....it was suspicious I thought.

So on my way back to the office, I contemplated the OTHER reasons one might leave their van this way:

1-occupants were attacked by killer bees, fled the vehicle in such a hurry to escape, no time could be spared to close and lock doors. (Think Tommy Boy)

2 - occupants had no arms, so for convenience reasons, they just leave doors open for easy entrance and exit.

3-soccer mom cracks and pulls a gun on ungrateful children and husband in the passenger seat...after being asked "are we there yet" one too many times.

4-dad farted, family evacuated.

what do you guys think?  Where does your imagination go when left to your own devices?  Was I copping-a-squat 100 feet from a "bait car" or do you have a different theory you'd like to share?

Inquiring minds want to know,

~Heather Lynn~

Today, I had to get out of the office, I just couldn't breathe it felt like...so I set out to find a park nearby.  I don't know Lima all that well, so I figured today I'd just scout locations, and hopefully find a location that felt like "me"...I got lucky and found Schoonover Park where I found a shady spot to sit, and a picturesque scene that I could stare at indefinitely.

While sitting there contemplating my future.....and the immediate disarray of my mind today, I heard footsteps approach me, I wasn't in "the best" part of town, so I stiffened and turned cautiously to see who was about to be upon me, to find this:

She climbed in my lap, and purred as I stroked her, and then she climbed off me, purred some more and sat next to me.  She started out at the water the same as I did, perhaps she too had a lot on her mind.  She just stayed next to me until it was time for me to go back to work, her side against my side.

The water and view was nice, but the company from a furry stranger who I suspected knew I needed a friend....well, it was a blessing I hadn't expected today.

So just wanted to send a special thank you out to my little friend, who lifted my spirits just by sitting quietly by me when I needed it most.

~Heather Lynn~

Bond, Heather Bond...

I have a very active imagination.  I love action movies that have Bruce Willis in them, and sometimes, I do this thing, where I practice my "cop skills"....No I'm not a cop, and I don't have "skills", but you always watch cop shows and they say, "what did you see?"  "how tall was he?"  "what was he driving?"  "Did you get his license plate?"

So today, while standing in the breakroom at work, getting a cup of coffee, I peeked out the window to main street Lima down below and saw something peculiar.  I saw man get out of his truck, get a pair of binoculars and then begin watching a building to the south west of our block.  I watching him intently, making mental notes of the scene.  First of all, how odd, why would someone sit on main street lima and watch a building with binoculars?  Avid pigeon watcher?  Peeping tom?  Private investigator?  Cop?  What was his deal?

Suddenly, a pedestrian on the sidewalk approached, man with binoculars pulls his surveillance equipment down and out of sight of the man approaching.  He watched warily as he passed.  He pulled them back out again, and continued looking.  Then, he got in his truck, shut the door, shuffled some things around on his front seat and then jotted some things down on a piece of paper.

Then he looked like he was inspecting a credit card or passkey of some sort.

Being the super skilled detective I am, I said to myself:  Don-Queen-Sue, 2732.  Committing his license plate to memory.  I got the make, color and model of his truck.  I sipped my coffee suspiciously and said to myself...."better hope you're not a bad guy Mister, cause I'm watching you.... PUNK!"...in my best Clint Eastwood voice....it was pretty dramatic!

Now I sit at my desk, sipping coffee, and thinking to myself....he was probably like a window washer, looking to see if his guys had finished a building.  Or perhaps he's a building inspector, or a storm watcher.....or a body guard, but then my mind says, then why hide the binoculars when someone approached?

Suddenly, I'm neither James Bond OR Clint Eastwood,

I'm crazy Mel Gibson from Conspiracy Theory! 

YIKES!

Sirens just went by...

maybe I'm just being paranoid....

It's probably nothing...

~Heather Lynn~

July 3rd:

{This was our storm}

It's nearly Independence day, and right now, people in our area are feeling very DEPENDENT.  Dependent on electricity, dependent on air conditioners, dependent on cell phones and chargers and dependent on businesses to keep us afloat, when our homes can no longer house us.

Hometownstations.com-WLIO- Lima, OH News Weather Sports

Hometownstations.com-WLIO- Lima, OH News Weather Sports

Well, my apologies for my delay in updates this week, however, due to one of the worst storms in recent history, I've been without Internet access, I've missed work, been held hostage by a parking lot gate and became a professional tree trimmer since we last spoke.  A storm can change a lot of things as it turns out.

Friday around three p.m. I got a text on my phone from Jerimy telling me that there was a very bad storm headed my way.  He also mentioned that he was nearly killed by a barrel that came at him going about 100 mph when he went out to the parking lot to roll up his windows in his car.  First of all, THANK GOD he got out of the way fast enough to avoid collision.  I can't tell you the wreck I'd be if anything ever happened to him....but anyway, so he warns me the storm is coming, and I warn my mother, who's in Delphos, while I'm in Lima.  The storm is coming for Delphos, and wind speeds are clocking at 100 and 90 miles per hour as it comes.

With warnings given to me from Jerimy and to my mother from me, there was nothing left for me to do, but to sit at my desk, awaiting 4:00 p.m. when it was time for me to head for home.  I worried the storm would reach us about the same time we were to leave.

As the storm progressed across Ohio, Jerimy sent me text messages of the damage he witnessed as he trailed behind the storm from New Haven Indiana, to home.  What he witnessed and then reported to me was eye opening.  I knew it was bad, and it was nerve racking to have Jerimy behind the storm, and me in front of it, not knowing what further damage was to come.

First the email came in to me from Van Wert, my friend Angie was at work there and she gave me her perspective as it hit....not good.

Then, as it hit Delphos, I texted my Mother, to make sure she was ok, but I couldn't get through to her.  I got worried.

By ten til 4:00, the storm had made it from New Haven Indiana, to Lima, Ohio, and I watched as the sky went from clear to black.  Our gigantic flag outside my window began to be tormented by the wind, and the temperature dropped, almost so drastically that you could see it.  The power flickered and then failed and myself and my co-workers stood huddled around the window by my desk, watching the destruction as it passed.  I saw roofs being ripped off, heavy metal trashcans blown over and then away....it was no sissy of a storm.  It didn't last long, perhaps a mere 20 minutes, but when it started to move on away from Lima, we decided to try and make a break for it.  However, at my office building, the parking lot has gates that require a key card to get into....and as luck would have it, those key card kiosks also need electricity to operate.  So there we all were, my entire office of remaining staffers, and we were being held hostage by our parking gates!

The cell lines were in and out, one minute you had it, the next you didn't.  So after a quick chat with our maintenance man Dan, My boss Greg broke the gate down so we could go home for the weekend, that is IF we still had homes to go home to!

Lima was a mess, power lines down all over, every road I turned on seemed like another road I couldn't make it all the way down!  Lines were long, lights were out, it was chaos everywhere you looked.  On my venture back to Delphos, I saw trees uprooted, seasonal rooms torn right off of houses, power line after power line, torn to the ground.

When I got back to Delphos, it was like a different town.  There were no more lawns, only tree branch resting places.  The oldest most beautiful shade bearing trees through the entire town had been torn down, and thrown to the ground.  They were on houses, they were on cars, they were on fences and streets.  They were everywhere.  It was like nothing I'd seen before in all of my 34 years of life.

My house survived without damage, however the tree in my back yard took a hit, and the tree next to Jerimy's blew down and crashed into the neighbor's.  Needless to say, we spent the next two days in total clean-up-effort-mode.  Good thing I grew up with a father who sent me and my sisters out to the woods to chop wood for our wood burning stove every year I was old enough to carry sticks!  Jerimy and I whittled away branch by branch, limb by limb until there wasn't anything left, but a entire tree trunk laying horizontally in the yard.  We're going to make a bench out of it to sit around the fire ring.  Should be nice.  It was Jerimy's favorite tree, so this way, we get to keep the ole "favorite-tree" around for years to come.

There are still many without power, the town's still a disaster, but I really have to report that in this craptastic time, so many came out to help their friends and neighbors.  There were people out and about helping each other through this difficult time, and once more, I'm reminded that this little community of ours, is a small town treasure.  People here, really do show up for one another when it matters most.

Hopefully the rest of the week, Delphos, Ottoville, Fort Jennings, Lima, Spencerville and Van Wert (just to name a few)....get back to some sort of normalcy, and we can all enjoy the 4th of July without the worry and strife that comes with the aftermath of this storm.