I have really missed being here....what is it about life that always seems to pull you away from the things you want to revel in the most? Things like sunshine, warm ocean breezes, embraces, kisses, a nap snuggled somewhere warm on a particularly cold day like today?
My life has been an absolute whirlwind the last few years....YEARS....and while I've made some monumental progress in things like getting out of debt, ridding my life of crap, I've somehow become so busy that I can no longer enjoy the little things.....it's like I have no peace in my life....all I have is frenzied-madness that is nowhere near the kind of existence I so desire.
Why is it that when we're bored, all we want is something to do, and when we're swamped, we'd kill to be bored? Is it ingrained in us to be this stupid? To always want what we don't have? Do we like reward ourselves for keeping ourselves away from joy and entrenching ourselves in strife?
And don't let me for a second make you feel sorry for me, for F*ck's sakes, I did this to myself! I wholeheartedly got myself into this madness with my eyes wide open, and with the insane belief that somehow this is what I wanted....
What I really want.....is to get back to when life was simpler. When naps were allowed...guilt free. Where spending time doing something that is good for you and that you WANT to do without guilt, because there are 30 other places you need to be and 100 tasks remain undone for the day.
Do I sound like a whiny brat right now....yeah, pretty much.....I know. Try to forgive me won't you?
In other news:
I'm test driving a car tonight....that's exciting! I'm test driving a car that gets 38 mpg Highway! I don't know if anyone else gets excited about such things, but I do! 30 mpg makes my toes curl in delight! Sure beats the 19/21 I get now. I'll keep you posted on this.....we'll see how things shake out.
Now that it's 2017, I'm nearing 40 years old....I feel like it's time to step back, and start to stop and smell the roses again. I'm a dummy for stopping doing it in the first place.
after a several year hiatus, I've come to the realization that I cannot WRITE if I do not have the luxury of being bored stiff. I do not have writer's block, I have NO TIME to be bored. Life is holding me hostage and Life's not going to like it when I start to push back and be like, "Listen here life, I'm not letting you call the shots, I will not let you push me around all the time!"
We sold the house in the woods....(I miss the scenery and my owls hooting in the woods)...but I'm perfectly happy and cozy with Jerimy (my love) in our tiny little home in town. Our RV is in storage, but will be hitting the road this summer for some adventures! The stress of having an aging/ailing dog (poor chubs) are behind me, as Chubs went to heaven back in the fall. And while the whole world resolves to lose the pooch around their midsections from holiday overindulgence, "I", Heather Lynn am resolving to SLOW my roll. I resolve to learn that boredom is not a burden, but a blessing.....because for this writer girl, idle hands......= words....=stories=wonder&suspense.....
Idle hands don't do the devil's work, they do the writing/typing....while the bored brain creates characters, and dilemmas, emotion and drama. Sure do hate drama in real life, but LOVE creating it in my novels.
Major life changes should not be made hastily or without great contemplation....and while I take the time needed to choose my path, I hope to polish my words here, where nobody reads them, but where I can feel like a "writer" again.....for a writer who is not writing....is not her true self. I want to see myself in the mirror again.
Being an Adult has no place in the day and the life of a writer.
It just doesn't.
And you wouldn't want it to....
I assure you.