BEING AN AUTHOR.....is a scary thing. It truly is your heart and soul and sweat and tears on paper for all the world to see...and to put it out there knowing that you're opening yourself up to unknown response, well, to say the least it's frightening.
I've had people stopping by the house all this week to pick up their book orders and they all want to know "so how does it feel to be a published Author"....and somehow I feel that telling them I'm scared shitless is likely not the answer they're looking for.
Granted "Scared shitless" isn't the only feeling of course, you go through a ton of different emotions, excitement, joy, RELIEF every time someone you know is reading it tells you that they enjoyed it instead of hated it, giddiness, you have HOPE that the little novel will find itself in hands of unknown parties who also enjoy it and then pass it on to someone they know and love. But to know that so many people have MY story in their hands and heads, well it's humbling to say the least.
My main goal, when asked by my Chief Editor what my goal for publishing the book would be, I said, I'd like to sell one book that wasn't to my mother. She laughed. I revised and said "ok, ok, I want to sell enough books to buy a Jack's Pizza"....again she laughed and said "seriously, what do you hope to get out of this? Big picture?"
And honestly I had no idea how any of this would go, so me being me, I said "seriously, I want to sell ONE book, that's not to my mother!" And folks, I've done that. From here on out, if I don't sell another book, I can say that I met my goal. I accomplished what I set out to do.
Now you might say, but wait, that's not exactly a very hefty goal....ah, but yes, I assure you it is....let me explain, in order to sell ONE book to someone that wasn't my mother, I had to first write a novel, and then re-write it in some parts. And then fix anything wrong with it story wise...check for congruentcy, edit it at least five times myself, before passing it along to my chief editor Rachel, who then edited it at least 279 times before passing it to my second Editor Deb, who then meticulously went over each and every word 421 times. I had to come up with a concept for the cover photo, drive around on my motorcycle for miles looking for "ditchy" type locations, find the perfect location, obtain a model, have a photo cover shoot, find a make-up artist to rough her up, drive 17 miles to Bloody Bridge, throw my model on a bunch of rocks on the canal bank and then get "THE PERFECT SHOT", followed by at least 8 hours of photo editing. Then Theresa my graphic artist spent her precious time editing my edited pictures to make them into cover quality finished products and formatted into a print ready cover!
There were approximately 3,000 emails that got exchanged, 100 hours of phone calls and meetings, 400 cups of coffee consumed, 23 hours of sleep lost, 15 panic attacks, 46 forehead bangs on desktops and walls, Rach must of lost her voice 5 times in the course of all of this, Deb lost five pounds from the stress....Mike (my IT/publishing guy) likely cursed my name and 'diad''s name 29 times over the course of 3 hours and my poor dog "Chubs" probably had 2 accidents in the house because I was so enthralled with "book stuff" that I forgot to let him out in time! And I might as well not lie, I might of missed a couple hair shampoos in there as well!
All of that, to sell one copy.....or enough to buy one pizza. *laughs* yeah, I wasn't expecting much when it came to sales, but if I made one sale...just one sale...I would feel like a success.
Mike, Rachel, Deborah, Theresa, Sami,...the other Rachel....we all have something to be proud of, because we did better than sell one copy...in under two weeks, we've sold close to 200 books! Now maybe those kind of numbers will NEVER make the New York Times Best Sellers list turn and look in my direction, but who the heck cares, we have sold nearly 200 books in a week and a half! that's not just awesome, it's miraculous! MIRACULOUS I tell you!
The holidays are a magical time, full of love and laughter, warm houses, cold noses and the spirit of giving is everywhere...and I cannot tell you all how thankful I am for each and every one of you who purchased the book, and made not just mine, but Rachel's and Mike's and Deborah's and Theresa's and Sami's and the other Rachel's hard work....SO VERY WORTH the effort!
With warmest wishes
and the holiday spirit,
I thank you.