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Well let’s see. I was born during the Blizzard of 1978 in Lima, Ohio. I have lived in Ohio all my life. I like it here. We have corn fields instead of oceans, overpasses instead of mountains and fog instead of smog. Sure it's not the promise land, but sometimes one doesn't need postcard worthy beauty on the outside to have it elsewhere. I'm a writer for fun, a Paralegal for profession, and while one pays the bills, one feeds my imagination, or perhaps my imagination feeds my writing...either way, Writing is as much of who I am as the color of my eyes, or the way that I smile. Blogs are great communication tools, and I'm here to communicate with YOU...yeah, you who's reading this right now....*assuming anyone's out there* *crickets chirp* Alrightee then, IF anyone should find themselves here, be it by accident or on purpose, welcome, glad to have you aboard. Throw anchor, stay awhile! Sunshine & Smiles, ~Heather Lynn~

Monday, September 22, 2014

For the love of a Child.....

A lot of people ask me, "Heather, so you're really not going to have children?"....
And I think to myself that I know they are only asking me because they truly believe I'm missing out on something by NOT having any....

Like this morning, my dearest friend Amber sent me a video of one of her children doing something hilarious, and boy I tell you, it really made me smile.  I love that my friends and my sister Ang, have created these little lives that are lived so largely, I think the world is a better place for having their laughter in it, their love and their innocence.

And while I'm not, not having children because I don't like them, because trust me, I adore them,  but this weekend, I really found the reason my commitment to not having a baby of my own....

It came in the face of a little freckle faced red haired boy that I've had the pleasure of meeting here a couple weeks ago.  A friend of a little boy I "big sister" on weekends....

The first time we met, a couple weeks ago, I said, "hey there lil guy, did you know that today is "National Redhead Days?  Happy Redhead days!"  He smiled really big at me and you could just tell that he was suddenly proud of being a part of such an elite group ....He was a "Ginger" and he was beaming in the fact that he was one in that moment.

We gave him a ride to his house once when he had a ways to walk, he said thank you, and seemed to have meant it.

At Canal days this weekend, I once again saw him....and had the pleasure of getting to know him a little better....I asked him about his mom, not knowing who she was, and he said, "She lives in Lima".

I said, "oh, well i probably don't know her then."  Ready to change to the subject...
then he tells me "She lives in a crack house"

His eyes told a story that I couldn't dare repeat.  I said, "So you live with your Dad then?"

He said, "I live with my Grandma".

I nodded, and said, "Do you like living with her?"

He nodded and said "yeah".

Throughout the day, I got to see more of this child's character and spirit, as we copped a squat on a sidewalk and he ate a funnel cake with my "quasi-adopted lil brother" and myself.  The the two of them plotted their next move.  "The Pink Puker!"

I said to him, "Do you really think that's a good idea, you just ate a ton of grease and sugar, maybe the pink puker should wait until your food settles?  I mean, you'll probably hurl, they don't call that thing the pink puker for nothing you know"

he looked at me, bravely and said "Challenge Accepted"....

While I thought he was crazy, at the same time, I thought "I like this kid"...he's crazy, but I like him!

So we picked ourselves up off the sidewalk, and off to the Pink Puker we went.

I waited in the crowd, watching from a distance as they stood in line, they were all cocky and tough as they prepared to conquer the ride that had stolen lunches from so many kids before them.

I was worried my "little brother friend/kid" would be sick and I'd have to take him home to his dad...and I watched as they loaded into their spinning booth-car.  They began to spin the wheel in the middle, making them just blurs as they went faster and faster....

About mid ride, I noticed this little ginger boy not looking so hot, head flat back against the seat-back.  Mouth pointed to the outside...arms crossed around his little midsection.

"Ut-oh!" I thought to myself...

As the ride wound down, and the boys came running off the ride, I was not surprised to see my lil guy with puke splatted down the side of his T-shirt and the little Ginger boy looking pitifully up at me saying "I don't feel so good!"

"Well I don't imagine you do kid, you ate a funnel cake the size of New Jersey and then road the Pink Puker....He looked up at me from a bench he'd plopped himself on and said, "yeah, that probably wasn't a good idea".

Poor thing.

Later we all went to the Canal Commission Museum where we had the great pleasure of writing with Quill pens.  I had always wanted to write with one, imagine myself a 100 years ago, with ink stained fingers, and writing in the way Jane Austen would have....but it wasn't MY experience with inked fingers that would change my perspective forever, but the scrawlings of this little freckled face kid that I barely knew, who admittedly had a mom in a crack house, that would both break my heart, and at the same time, make my heart swell with pride for the wounded kid that sat across the table from me.

I watched as he penned each word, while the other children wrote their names and silly other kid things, he wrote something so much more...

He wrote a letter to his grandma, a letter he asked ME to fold up and keep safe for him once he finished because he didn't want to lose it.

Later that day, as I sat in my truck alone, I unfolded that letter and I read:

"The End" -- he stole from me, my scrawlings were that of "Happily Ever After" and "The End"....classic story book writings I always imagined I'd write....

I'm not going to lie, I saw his little face as I read his grateful words to the one person who took him in, when he didn't have the love of a mother, the security of a world not skewed by drugs and crime and loss and instability....

And this isn't the big city, this is little ole Delphos...this is happening right here...not on the six o'clock news, not in Chicago or New York...
Right....here....Delphos....Canal days....

It broke my heart, and my eyes got all teary and I just wanted to go find him and hug him...hell "ADOPT him on the spot" was running through my head.

And there are so many kids out there, just like him, who are abandoned, dumped off on a grandparent, or Aunt, or sibling....left with a piece of their heart, forever missing, likely wondering why they couldn't have a mom like other kids, who bakes cookies and shows up at their football games and whatnot.

Earlier that day, he was saying, "I'm a ginger like you...I could be your kid"...and I didn't realize how much that meant, until reading his words, written so tender and sweet.  They make me tear up even still as I write this.

I think I wasn't meant to have kids, I think it was meant to love a kid who is already here, and who needs love in the absence of their own mother.

I'll never forget his letter....which is why I wanted to share it with you, keep your eyes open, for there may just be a child out there who'll leave a mark on your heart that will last the rest of your life.



  1. Heather, I was so touched by your story today, that I cried like a baby. I'm glad that I haven't become immune to still being touched by this, after having worked in that field for 20 years. I'm so glad there are people like you in this world!

    1. Betty,

      First let me say I've missed you! I feel like we haven't conversed in FOR-EVER! So glad to find you here. :)

      Well, you and me both in the bawling like a baby department. It hurts my heart so much to know that there's a child out there who knows their mom likes crack more than they LOVE their own flesh and blood baby boy. How that must feel to believe that they are unwanted, or a burden, or second rate to a drug or a high.

      As a "grown-up"...what I wouldn't give to shoulder that for him, to shelter him from the ramifications of those kind of truths. I would love that kid and every freckle on his face if he were mine, I'd just be THE BEST mom I could ever be if he were mine....or for any child for that matter, and I just can't understand how a parent wouldn't....do they even know the damage that absence does to a child? Granted, being IN their life might be just as damaging if they are a drug addict, but still...you know what I mean. Kids deserve more than so many of these kids get. And yet, here was this kid, eating his funnel cake, and you know, he still offered some to me. Knowing that he wasn't going to get anymore $$ to spend, he still offered to share his food with me! Even when he didn't have enough money to buy a water to wash it down with. Which I gave him mine....and again, his eyes looked grateful for the kindness.

      I just wonder if he knows that while I merely gave him a water and my time....he gave me so much more.

      You just have to wonder if he knows just how special of a kid he really is.

      And don't be glad there are people like me in the world, it's YOU I'm happy for, YOU and all the others who devote their lives to that field, I wonder if you'll ever know how many lives you touched in your career? :)


  2. I don't cry, but if I did this would have made me bawl.
    -Iowa Nerd

  3. GOD'S blessings on that little boy.....Keep a guardian angel with him.


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