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Well let’s see. I was born during the Blizzard of 1978 in Lima, Ohio. I have lived in Ohio all my life. I like it here. We have corn fields instead of oceans, overpasses instead of mountains and fog instead of smog. Sure it's not the promise land, but sometimes one doesn't need postcard worthy beauty on the outside to have it elsewhere. I'm a writer for fun, a Paralegal for profession, and while one pays the bills, one feeds my imagination, or perhaps my imagination feeds my writing...either way, Writing is as much of who I am as the color of my eyes, or the way that I smile. Blogs are great communication tools, and I'm here to communicate with YOU...yeah, you who's reading this right now....*assuming anyone's out there* *crickets chirp* Alrightee then, IF anyone should find themselves here, be it by accident or on purpose, welcome, glad to have you aboard. Throw anchor, stay awhile! Sunshine & Smiles, ~Heather Lynn~

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Toxic Couples:

Recently it's been brought to my attention that I have some dysfunctional couples around me.  You know the couple that fights constantly....the ones who break up a lot, on again, off again....drama drama drama...We've all seen them, hell some of us might of even BEEN IN a toxic couple-ship a time or two.  But the other day my mom told me, "you know it's not healthy to be around couples like that"....and I wondered if she were right.

Do Toxic Couples make you reflect on your own relationship, seeing how different and/or healthy yours is in comparison?

Or does the toxicity of theirs, leak over into the placid sea of your state of love w/ your significant other?

Personally, I'm a big fan of floating on the placid sea of love and tranquility.....ahhhhh....the peacefulness of it all.....shades on, floating, sipping on something fruity with an umbrella in it....
{gets lost in the visualization of that kind of paradise}

{snaps back to reality....}

And what really sucks is you want to HELP these couples, or at least help the half of the couple you consider your friend, you want to throw them a life preserver and say "GRAB HOLD, I"LL PULL YOU OUT!", but we all know, that if there's one thing the toxic relationship does, it sucks you in and in and in until you feel like you can't get out.

And then suddenly, THEIR relationship is frustrating YOU, and you're not even the one in the relationship!


Isn't it funny how that happens?

Personally, I think the toxic relationships of others, can do a couple things for healthy couples who love each other......they can listen to the toxic relationship woes of others, take it in, give thanks that THEIR significant other doesn't do this, or doesn't do that....and take comfort in the fact that no matter what problems the healthy relationship has, it isn't nothing compared to the problems of others.


The toxic relationships of others can cause waves into a healthy relationships placid sea by being a constant negative vibe buzzing around the healthy couple.  Causing irritability, and putting ideas of negativity towards relationships, the opposite sex, bringing up feelings of discontent to the forefront of our minds....since most people will advise the toxic couple to go their separate ways, saying that no relationship is worth that amount of misery to continue on with....the person giving that advice inadvertently has to think about what relationships are worth.....

I'm curious as to your thoughts....do you think the relationships of others distract you in your own relationships, add negativity and discontent, or do you think their drama, their dysfunction reaffirms the good aspects in your relationship that theirs lacks?

Or is it as simple as "Are you a glass half empty, or glass full kind of person?"  Do optimistic people take the toxic couple and say "whew, could be worse, we could be like them", while the negative personality person says, "We're probably going to wind up just like them one day....."

I tend to be glass half full kind of person myself, so when I approach the toxic couple situation, I think the MOST important thing is to KEEP a healthy distance from THEIR drama, know the difference between theirs and yours, learn how to put down the "fixitstick" and try to not insert ourselves into the middle of other people's problems, when clearly the problem cannot be solved by an outside person.  And us running interference in the middle only muddies the already murky water.  Sometimes the best thing you can do is just be there to listen....and then forget about it.

So many times we think we can save someone....when really, the only person who can, is them.  Too many people are sinking....and we throw out our live preservers to those people, but the one thing you can't do, is make them grab on.

yet we still throw the life ring...*shrugs*....we're human, it's what we do.

For top of the food chain, we aren't always the brightest!

A good heart filled with good intentions can be as big of a blessing as it can sometimes be a curse.

Thoughtfully yours,


  1. I am the king of toxic relationships. I think I thrive on them.

    1. Bathwater - dearest, you know I wasn't writing this for you, but now that you mention it, you do kinda have the inside track on this phenomenon don't you?! Care to share any insights you have on the subject?

      Think you'll ever stop thriving?


  2. Hi...loved the blog...right on! Is the picture yours or copywrited? Would love to use it.

  3. Hi...loved the blog...right on! Is the picture yours or copywrited? Would love to use it.


Leave me a message! I'd love to hear your thoughts...AND...while I may be slow, 99% of the time, I'll leave you a comment back! So get interactive would ya!? :) xoxoxxo, ~hl~