Tales from a BookFair - Part 1:

 

Once upon a time, in a book fair not so far away....imagine if you will, me, sitting at my table, watching passersby, waiting for someone to take a look at my table, my books and decide to come and interact with me...and then two walked my way.  They were nice looking people.  A man and a woman, similar looking in size and stature.  Nice upstanding looking folks.  Both dressed in jeans and windbreaker type jackets, tidy haircuts, straightlaced looking, the kind of people who care about what they put in their bodies....you know the type, or can imagine...

So there I am, they walk up and are looking at my books and I say "Hi folks, how are you guys today....in the market for some new books?"  

[Keep in mind we're at a BOOK FAIR, so um, yeah, just call me captain obvious!]

They smile politely at me but don't really say anything.  I think to myself, maybe they are shy.  My mom is with me on this day and I look at her when they don't say anything and she looks at me with a look that says: *I don't know why they didn't respond...maybe they didn't hear you?*  So i try again, take another stab at cracking the communication code barrier that's clearly between us..."So what kind of books do you like to read?"

The nice woman replies in a soft spoken sweet voice:  "Mostly Amish."

Huh, was NOT expecting that response!  Amish books.  Can't say as I've ever read an Amish tale in my life...and the way mind mind works is it immediately jumps to a funny retort.  Let me also point out that it's funny IN MY MIND.  Something I NOW know is NOT for the general public.

Knowing the gritty, criminal type content of my book Dead in a Ditch and the even "creepier vibe" in The Ordeal, I say to them while waving my hands over my two books in front of me, "ohhhhhhhhh.....welllllllllllllll....you might not like theeeeeeeeese books, they have a lot of electricity in them."

Amish = Electricty = Amish don't use electricity = my books have a lot of edgier types of subject matter.  I didn't think I needed to explain the obvious joke, but they stood there with dead serious expressions on their faces.  Neither of them saying a single world.  Not a smirk, not a smile, not a nothing!  So I once more look at my mom and she kind of laughs a little ...clearly getting my little joke in the face of the Amish Book Reader duo before me, and she shrugs like...*don't look at me, I got the joke*

DEAD...........................SILENCE.......................CONTINUES.....................

So me, now super aware of the now awkward silence of my little joke bouncing off their teflon-non-stick exteriors, I quickly move to fill the dead air.  I wave my hands over to my little sign announcing the soon-to-be-arriving new novel, "The Accident" and say "Howwwwwwwwever, if these books aren't your type of stories, perhaps my new novel will be of more interest to you."  then I explain that we were taking emails and names for when the new book comes out to notify them that it's available for purchase and they both crinkle their noses at me as if I farted in both their faces, and shook their heads in a solid and resounding  "NO." and walked away without another word.

AMISH BOOKS - ELECTRICITY...C'mon that was a funny joke (I thought so anyway)...they however did NOT find me amusing in the slightest.

I look at my mom like, "What the heck was that?" and she's rolling laughing, tears in her eyes she's laughing at how miserably I had just FAILED at making a sale, or even a connection...hell, i wouldn't even call what we had a conversation!

"Well, THAT didn't go over well!" I say to my mom with wide eyes and a look of disbelief at just how badly I'd just fallen on my face.  She's still laughing and says "Well, I just don't think they were your target audience."  As mom's do when their babies fail miserably right in front of them....they just try to give a reassuring nod, smile or shoulder squeeze that says, you don't suck, those people do.

So a big thanks to my mother, who we all call "Momma K" for not only witnessing my terrible failed attempt at humor with some fellow human beings, but for giving me the ole "I thought it was funny" and dusting me off and giving me the support to try again, do better with the next person who came to our table.

{My Biggest Supporter:  Momma K"}

Needless to say, lesson learned, NO MORE ELECTRICTY JOKES.  Keep the inside voices INSIDE my head.  LESSON LEARNED!  The hard way...as all my lessons typically are.

Being an Author isn't just words on paper!  I'm better at a keyboard than in real life I think.

What do you think of my new sign for my booth table?  Warning!  Electricity, stay back!  Bad jokes aplenty.  Walk away now!  Before it's too late!

To the Amish Book lovers out there, I'm sorry!  I meant no disrespect.  

*Heather Lynn*

and just because I can't help myself...I will leave you with this:

Tales from book fairs Pt. 2:

 As an Author, nothing makes you feel better than someone loving your book.  I mean, it's THE ultimate confidence boost in your abilities, to know that you wrote something that someone loves...and I thought that feeling couldn't be topped in the writer/reader relationship, however, at my most recent book event, I was proven wrong, there is wee-bit of a step-above that feeling that I recently experienced, let me tell you how it went down...

So there we were, Me and my Mom, aka "Momma K", aka my partner in book crime at book events (it's like a roadie for bands - NOT to be confused with a GROUPIE.  She would want me to be clear on that point moving forward in the story...) 

Anywhoo, there we were, she and I sitting at my table, just chatting and laughing while I ate cookies for breakfast, [SIDE NOTE:  For those who don't know, I allow my low carb-life-self to indulge in the sheer joy of having cookies when I'm out and about at book events.  Life is just better with cookies in my opinion.  I mean, if I have to get up early and go try and sell books, cookies are my reward for being an early riser.]

...I digress....so while I ate a cookie; my mom being the more responsible one had a piece of coffee cake...my booth was set up, shiny new books for sale set out for viewing and buying, and so then it was time to relax and get ready to meet and greet possible new readers.

Momma K and I enjoy our time together at these things and we're laughing and enjoying the day and the other authors who we got to talk to nearby, Author Lisa Koehler was across from us, Author Tasha Sheipline beside us, and Author Krystal Kricket Gallo was diagonal from us, to say we were in good company would be an understatement!  We had quite a few people come through right away first thing...lots of smiling faces and new people to talk to many purchasing books (to my delight), but there was one special arrival that really made my day.

Her name was Samantha, Samantha W. to be exact, she came in from out of the rain and drizzle that had started outside and she came right up to my table and said "Thank God you're here!"  I looked at her...trying to figure out if I knew her, she looked familiar for sure, but I couldn't quite place where I'd seen her before, said mystery being solved when she said:

 "I met you at Books and Brews Event in Wapak" 

Oh yes, yes, now I remember her, she bought "Dead in a Ditch" that day and signed up for the newsletter for the release of "The Accident".  I knew I'd seen her face before.  I reply:

"Yeah, yes, I do remember you...How can I help you?"  

She replies: "I need to buy book #2!"  

I say: "Oh, did you read Dead in a Ditch?  Did you like it?"

She replies with "I LOVED IT!  I was supposed to come here today with a friend to do some shopping, but she couldn't make it, so I just came right here so I could get your second book!  How much is it?"  She asked.

"Thirteen" I say.  

She hands my mom (aka the money taker) and says:

"KEEP IT!  It was so good, just keep it!  Great job!" and then she breezed right back out of our sight and out the door, as swiftly as she'd breezed in.

What a compliment to have someone rush out in the crappy weather because they needed to know what happened next to my FMC...to know what Vivienne Taylor was going to do next.  How cool is that?!

Now all week, I've been dying to know if she liked "The Ordeal"...if she was as happy with it as she had been with "Dead in a Ditch".  Nervous, hoping I didn't let her down with what I wrote in book #2.

Samantha W., if you're out there, I'm dying to know...also, just so YOU know, you made my whole day!

Every reader I meet is a unique and wonderful experience, to watch someone hold your craft, you're form of art in their hands and be like, "yes, I would like to know what the inside of your mind is like"...whew, talk about intimacy! *laughs*

THANK YOU to every one of you who bought one of my books over the weekend, AND thank you to those of you who purchased on Amazon!  Thanks for being a part of my idea of "living the dream" <3

Happy Reading!!!

With luv,

~Heather Lynn~