Guilty! I know I am, are you?

 8 out of 9 for me.

What's your bookworm score?

*Heather Lynn*

THANKS TO THOSE OF YOU WHO LOVE MINE!

Tales from a BookFair - Part 1:

 

Once upon a time, in a book fair not so far away....imagine if you will, me, sitting at my table, watching passersby, waiting for someone to take a look at my table, my books and decide to come and interact with me...and then two walked my way.  They were nice looking people.  A man and a woman, similar looking in size and stature.  Nice upstanding looking folks.  Both dressed in jeans and windbreaker type jackets, tidy haircuts, straightlaced looking, the kind of people who care about what they put in their bodies....you know the type, or can imagine...

So there I am, they walk up and are looking at my books and I say "Hi folks, how are you guys today....in the market for some new books?"  

[Keep in mind we're at a BOOK FAIR, so um, yeah, just call me captain obvious!]

They smile politely at me but don't really say anything.  I think to myself, maybe they are shy.  My mom is with me on this day and I look at her when they don't say anything and she looks at me with a look that says: *I don't know why they didn't respond...maybe they didn't hear you?*  So i try again, take another stab at cracking the communication code barrier that's clearly between us..."So what kind of books do you like to read?"

The nice woman replies in a soft spoken sweet voice:  "Mostly Amish."

Huh, was NOT expecting that response!  Amish books.  Can't say as I've ever read an Amish tale in my life...and the way mind mind works is it immediately jumps to a funny retort.  Let me also point out that it's funny IN MY MIND.  Something I NOW know is NOT for the general public.

Knowing the gritty, criminal type content of my book Dead in a Ditch and the even "creepier vibe" in The Ordeal, I say to them while waving my hands over my two books in front of me, "ohhhhhhhhh.....welllllllllllllll....you might not like theeeeeeeeese books, they have a lot of electricity in them."

Amish = Electricty = Amish don't use electricity = my books have a lot of edgier types of subject matter.  I didn't think I needed to explain the obvious joke, but they stood there with dead serious expressions on their faces.  Neither of them saying a single world.  Not a smirk, not a smile, not a nothing!  So I once more look at my mom and she kind of laughs a little ...clearly getting my little joke in the face of the Amish Book Reader duo before me, and she shrugs like...*don't look at me, I got the joke*

DEAD...........................SILENCE.......................CONTINUES.....................

So me, now super aware of the now awkward silence of my little joke bouncing off their teflon-non-stick exteriors, I quickly move to fill the dead air.  I wave my hands over to my little sign announcing the soon-to-be-arriving new novel, "The Accident" and say "Howwwwwwwwever, if these books aren't your type of stories, perhaps my new novel will be of more interest to you."  then I explain that we were taking emails and names for when the new book comes out to notify them that it's available for purchase and they both crinkle their noses at me as if I farted in both their faces, and shook their heads in a solid and resounding  "NO." and walked away without another word.

AMISH BOOKS - ELECTRICITY...C'mon that was a funny joke (I thought so anyway)...they however did NOT find me amusing in the slightest.

I look at my mom like, "What the heck was that?" and she's rolling laughing, tears in her eyes she's laughing at how miserably I had just FAILED at making a sale, or even a connection...hell, i wouldn't even call what we had a conversation!

"Well, THAT didn't go over well!" I say to my mom with wide eyes and a look of disbelief at just how badly I'd just fallen on my face.  She's still laughing and says "Well, I just don't think they were your target audience."  As mom's do when their babies fail miserably right in front of them....they just try to give a reassuring nod, smile or shoulder squeeze that says, you don't suck, those people do.

So a big thanks to my mother, who we all call "Momma K" for not only witnessing my terrible failed attempt at humor with some fellow human beings, but for giving me the ole "I thought it was funny" and dusting me off and giving me the support to try again, do better with the next person who came to our table.

{My Biggest Supporter:  Momma K"}

Needless to say, lesson learned, NO MORE ELECTRICTY JOKES.  Keep the inside voices INSIDE my head.  LESSON LEARNED!  The hard way...as all my lessons typically are.

Being an Author isn't just words on paper!  I'm better at a keyboard than in real life I think.

What do you think of my new sign for my booth table?  Warning!  Electricity, stay back!  Bad jokes aplenty.  Walk away now!  Before it's too late!

To the Amish Book lovers out there, I'm sorry!  I meant no disrespect.  

*Heather Lynn*

and just because I can't help myself...I will leave you with this:

Throne of Glass Series - Midway Tandem Read Report

 

Just checking in, wanted to share my thoughts now that I'm half way through the tandem read for Throne of Glass Series by Sarah J. Maas.  So here's what I've learned so far...

Things are really heating up now.

This series started out really slow and grueling for me.

I've had so many people tell me this is their favorite series of all time, that this is the creme de le creme of fantasy series, however, I was struggling through it up until I would say until midway through Queen of Shadows.  Which if you're keeping score, that meant I read FOUR and a HALF books, roughly 2,255 pages before I felt like I was "invested" in the series.  I know, I know, don't k*ll me, due to my delayed enjoyment.  I wanted to love it as much as you guys from the start, but what can I say, maybe I'm a late bloomer.  ANYWAY...I'm invested NOW, ok, you got me, I'm in this with the rest of you!

Some insights into why I think it took me so long, #1 - I listened to the audio books for several of the first part of the series, and I was not a fan of the narrator.  I just could NOT get on board with the female narrator's "voices" for the male characters.  Whenever she lowered her voice, it just grated on my senses to the point that it made me cringe.  (I'm not sure why certain sounds really bother me, but that was something that I found horribly distracting in listening to them as opposed to reading them.)  So I'm guessing that perhaps I would have been far more invested quicker had I just read them all from the beginning.  

Did any of you guys have the same issues with this series?

I read and absolutely LOVED ACOTAR series, have already RE-read the first three of that series just because I missed being in that world, and I really thought I would get into Throne of Glass like I did ACOTAR, but it just wasn't the case for me.

But NOW, now that I've managed to catch up to the rest of you....War is coming....everything and everyone are starting to come together, re-emerge...and if you read SJM, you know that the last 100 pages, or from what I'm hearing...the entire last book in the series:  

Kingdom of Ash is going to "gut me in the best possible way" or at least that's what I'm being told.

So I'm buckling up, and settling in for the final portion of this very immersive series.  When finished I will have spent 5,008 pages in this world with these characters...that's a lot of time to spend in someone else's imagination, but SJM does that to you.  Once she has you, she never lets you go!

To Aelin, I say burn it all down!

Manon - kill them all

Rowan - make it count

Dorian, Lysandra & Aedion - Stay Alive

Elide - Stay the Course

Yrene - Heal them all

Chaol - Walk again

Nesryn - Get the Ruks, save the continent.  Do the prince! lol

FOREVER READING...

*Heather Lynn*

Good Reads - Good Reviews

Without readers, without reviewers, where would Indie Authors be?

*Heather Lynn*

 

ROMANTASY IS A CULT AND NEALY IS THEIR LEADER

So I typically cannot stand driving in my car these days without having an audiobook ready to go, and Last night I finished "It's not Her" by Mary Kubica (Which I enjoyed....DID NOT see the ending of that one going the way it did!  (Kuddos to Ms. Kubica for keeping me guessing) ...

I was about to start "Rites of a Starling" by Devney Perry when I get this "REEL" sent to me by my co-worker/fellow writer/friend/editor Nealy who basically convinces me to shelve "Rites of a Starling" and listen to "Gild".  So for the record Devney Perry, if you're reading this, I fully intended to read your second book in the series but you were unfortunately hijacked...but I swear to you, It's getting read...and soon!  If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at Nealy, this is HER fault entirely.  I like to lay blame where blame is due! *laughs*

There I am, in the shower, listening to "Gild" by Raven Kennedy and WOW, is my first impression!  That is one hell of an entrance to a series...let me just say: Bravo Ms. Kennedy, you really reached into my pre-caffeinated subconscious and put me in a bit of a chokehold there this morning.  Very interesting, and very descriptive first scene I must confess.  Was NOT expecting THAT!

So I message Nealy and tell her that she should be happy, that I caved, I'd set Rites of the Starling aside and was giving "Gild" a go and she cockily says "when have I ever lead you astray?"  To which she's correct, so far she's been my ever knowing guide to the world of ROMANTASY, a genre I can't say I would have EVER picked up if not for her.  

'Romantasy' for me is just like "Twilight" was back in the day, my big sister Angie telling me that I just have to read these books, and I'm like, "what are they about?"  She says "It's about these vampires..."; I'm all "Stop right there, I have no desire to read YOUNG ADULT VAMPIRE ROMANCE!"  Try not to judge me so harshly, how was I supposed to know I'd wind up loving them?! 

So anyway, Angie kept at me until I finally caved and said to her one day:  "FIIIIIIIIIINE!!!  For f*cks Sakes!!!  I will read it!"  To which I did, and I loved them.  Fast forward a couple years after that and there I was at the movie theatre on opening night for the movie adaptations, ooooo'ing and ahhhh'ing in the audience with everyone else in utter delight and dismay at how foolish I was to think that I almost never experienced the phenomenon that was "Twilight" because I was being stubborn.  

Fast forward some more years and here we are again, this time it's Nealy telling me I just HAVE to read these dragon books.  DRAGONS!  Are you kidding me?  Now we're reading about Dragons?!  

YEP, NOW WE ARE READING ABOUT DRAGONS!  I was officially hooked after listening to "Fourth Wing" by Rebecca Yarros, in the Graphic Audio Version like a crack addict on a real hell of a bender!  ...(And don't even get me started on the time she talked me into reading about Sarah J. Maas's "Faeries"....not to be confused with fairy's!  I'll tell you about that another time)....

So yeah, where was I?...Oh yeah, Nealy bullied me into romantasy, and now, here we are and she's still using her power's of persuasion to have me delving in the world of the "Plated Prisoner Series"!  😼  Nealy strikes again!  She's Diabolical!  In the best way! 

Here's a bit of the conversation with Nealy when I told her that she'd (YET AGAIN) won and I was now listening to "Gild" as she's strongly suggested:  

"Maybe I'm a literary pushover, maybe it's fate, but now Plated Prisoner series is officially on my plate."

Happy Reading Everybody...Feel free to drop what you're reading in the comments!  Don't forget to like and follow if you want to read more from me! <3

*Heather Lynn*

Tales from book fairs Pt. 2:

 As an Author, nothing makes you feel better than someone loving your book.  I mean, it's THE ultimate confidence boost in your abilities, to know that you wrote something that someone loves...and I thought that feeling couldn't be topped in the writer/reader relationship, however, at my most recent book event, I was proven wrong, there is wee-bit of a step-above that feeling that I recently experienced, let me tell you how it went down...

So there we were, Me and my Mom, aka "Momma K", aka my partner in book crime at book events (it's like a roadie for bands - NOT to be confused with a GROUPIE.  She would want me to be clear on that point moving forward in the story...) 

Anywhoo, there we were, she and I sitting at my table, just chatting and laughing while I ate cookies for breakfast, [SIDE NOTE:  For those who don't know, I allow my low carb-life-self to indulge in the sheer joy of having cookies when I'm out and about at book events.  Life is just better with cookies in my opinion.  I mean, if I have to get up early and go try and sell books, cookies are my reward for being an early riser.]

...I digress....so while I ate a cookie; my mom being the more responsible one had a piece of coffee cake...my booth was set up, shiny new books for sale set out for viewing and buying, and so then it was time to relax and get ready to meet and greet possible new readers.

Momma K and I enjoy our time together at these things and we're laughing and enjoying the day and the other authors who we got to talk to nearby, Author Lisa Koehler was across from us, Author Tasha Sheipline beside us, and Author Krystal Kricket Gallo was diagonal from us, to say we were in good company would be an understatement!  We had quite a few people come through right away first thing...lots of smiling faces and new people to talk to many purchasing books (to my delight), but there was one special arrival that really made my day.

Her name was Samantha, Samantha W. to be exact, she came in from out of the rain and drizzle that had started outside and she came right up to my table and said "Thank God you're here!"  I looked at her...trying to figure out if I knew her, she looked familiar for sure, but I couldn't quite place where I'd seen her before, said mystery being solved when she said:

 "I met you at Books and Brews Event in Wapak" 

Oh yes, yes, now I remember her, she bought "Dead in a Ditch" that day and signed up for the newsletter for the release of "The Accident".  I knew I'd seen her face before.  I reply:

"Yeah, yes, I do remember you...How can I help you?"  

She replies: "I need to buy book #2!"  

I say: "Oh, did you read Dead in a Ditch?  Did you like it?"

She replies with "I LOVED IT!  I was supposed to come here today with a friend to do some shopping, but she couldn't make it, so I just came right here so I could get your second book!  How much is it?"  She asked.

"Thirteen" I say.  

She hands my mom (aka the money taker) and says:

"KEEP IT!  It was so good, just keep it!  Great job!" and then she breezed right back out of our sight and out the door, as swiftly as she'd breezed in.

What a compliment to have someone rush out in the crappy weather because they needed to know what happened next to my FMC...to know what Vivienne Taylor was going to do next.  How cool is that?!

Now all week, I've been dying to know if she liked "The Ordeal"...if she was as happy with it as she had been with "Dead in a Ditch".  Nervous, hoping I didn't let her down with what I wrote in book #2.

Samantha W., if you're out there, I'm dying to know...also, just so YOU know, you made my whole day!

Every reader I meet is a unique and wonderful experience, to watch someone hold your craft, you're form of art in their hands and be like, "yes, I would like to know what the inside of your mind is like"...whew, talk about intimacy! *laughs*

THANK YOU to every one of you who bought one of my books over the weekend, AND thank you to those of you who purchased on Amazon!  Thanks for being a part of my idea of "living the dream" <3

Happy Reading!!!

With luv,

~Heather Lynn~ 

Do you read reviews when deciding what to read? Inquiring minds want to know....

 Dearest Readers, what would you say is the MOST influential factor in why you read the books you read?  Online Reviews?  Word of mouth from friends?  I'm curious...

Here's my most recent review on Amazon for Dead in A Ditch.  I do so appreciate any reader who takes the time to give reviews!  I feel like they make a difference.  But am interested in knowing what makes you pick a book up and read it?  The cover?  The Book description on the back?  Because it's your favorite author?  What makes you read what you read?

Rabecca Reads - An Honest Review, from a darling Book Reviewer!

Isn't she just adorable?  I don't know Becca personally, we've never met, and I was terrified when I found out she would be reading and reviewing Dead in A Ditch.  Ok, not totally terrified, more like 40% super excited, and 60% terrified.  To my relief, and delight, she liked it!

So thankful for Becca for taking a chance on an indie author like me!

If you want someone to give you really good book recommendations, look her up on your YouTube channel and subscribe, like and follow!!

Rabecca Reads - YouTube

As a thank you for taking a chance on me, I sent her "The Ordeal"...HOPEFULLY she will like it as much!  *fingers crossed* 

I'll likely have heartburn and insomnia between now and whenever she has time to pull The Ordeal off her TBR pile, but well, that's just now neurotic writers are when they know someone's about to read their work!  

We are THE bravest (FOR WRITING) & most ridiculously insecure (WHEN IT COMES TO LETTING SOMEONE READ WHAT WE WROTE) souls to ever walk the earth!  Please bear with us during this difficult time! 

*winks*

I just love her!  

Look at that face!

I mean, C'mon!  Follow her already!  

You know you want to!

Your next book might be one of her recommendations.

EXCITING NEWS: THE WAIT IS JUST ABOUT OVER! NEW BOOK COMING SOON!

 Ok, so let me start by saying, the bad news first:  It's not the third book in the Vivienne Taylor Series.  I know, I know, but I'll share news about that series later/soon....(aka, I'm working on it)

For those of you who follow me, you know I've been working on a new project and I'm happy to announce that the manuscript is done, it's in the editing phase, and I hope to have it available by the end of summer, that's my current goal/timeline.

This new Book is unlike anything I've written before, as it takes place over the course of the main characters 30+ years, and that was quite the undertaking in and of itself.  How much do you put in when spanning someone's near entire life?  How much is too much?  How much is too little?  In writing such a tale, I learned quickly it's a fine line and delicate balance in attempting to write such a tale.  I did enjoy the challenge though, writing something completely out of my wheelhouse was kind of refreshing.

It's been so long since I've dedicated myself wholeheartedly to writing, and I cannot begin to tell you just how therapeutic it has been to dive back into this creative endeavor.  There was a time when I thought I just didn't have any stories left in me.  There was a time when I seriously doubted I'd ever write anything worthwhile again.  As a person who writes, and has done so for most of their lives, not having something to write to say to create, it feels like something inside you has died.  A part of me, I think did, for a time.

I've been busy being a "grown-up", working, paying bills, doing the dishes, but I'm no longer allowing that to be all I do.  I've been reading like a woman on fire and surrounding myself with other creative types who inspire me, who have quite literally fanned the flames of what has always been inside of me, and for those people, I'm forever indebted to you!  You know who you are!  I won't name you and make it weird! *winks*

So, just wanted to write you a little something, to let you in on the news, if you haven't heard already, A new book is on the horizon, and for those of you who've stuck by me, get ready for something brand new!

Here's a little blurb to get you interested:  

Soooooooo....what do you think?  Intrigued?

Cannot wait to share this new story with you all!

All my love,

~Heather Lynn~

TikTok

     As a woman in her 40's, in an ever evolving world of technology, one has to try to keep up, in order to stay visible in the sea of millions upon millions of books out there to read, and author's out there wanting to be your new favorite, one must try new approaches in order to keep yourself in the mix of options when deciding what to read next.  INSERT introduction to TIKTOK here.

    My friend Jessica said, you have to get on TikTok, and as a writer and with the phenomenon known as BookTok, I thought, sure, what's ONE MORE social media platform to try out and remember a log-in and password for.  Sometimes I can't remember why I walked to the kitchen, but sure, why not add on another thing I need to remember to check, to friend or not to friend, to like/comment on, the clicking never stops, however I am a curious soul, and I find "experiments" fascinating, so I took to TikTok and just wanted to see if it would stir up some new book sales.  I mean, why not right?  I'm not out anything if none are had.

    So I've been diligent, I've posted videos, I've commented on people's stuff, and added people and followed others, and so far, I have to say, it's pretty underwhelming, unless you count the non-stop barrage of people popping into my DM's asking me to read their book, to let me let them create cover art, and last but not oddly enough, "how old are you?"  Um, is that because I'm about to be propositioned for sex, or because they want to see if I'm old enough to enter into a binding contract of some sort?

    Maybe I'm just too old for TikTok, I gave it a go, but I'm just not sure its for me.

    Other writers/friends/book lovers out there, what do you think, should I stay or should I go? 

Yours,

~Heather Lynn~

Tell me I was dreaming

Edgar Allen Poe wrote:

Lately, since all of the madness has truly set in with COVID-19 and the closures and the mandates and the fear....I wake up every day and I pause and think to myself, was it just a dream, are things really this way...or did I dream it?  And then I realize that it wasn't a dream and these are the times we live in.  People wearing masks, people scared to be near anyone....yet each day, when I wake up, I have to remind myself that I didn't just have a bad dream, and that this is our new reality...and will be so for who knows how long.

I find it fascinating how in a world that can't seem to look up from their phones long enough to walk next door to visit a neighbor, to watch the sun set, hell, even to watch a tv show without multitasking, juggling Facebook and Instagram while trying to binge watch an entire Netflix show, is the new normal....yet, how quickly we miss face to face interaction when it's taken away from us.  COVID-19 came in and just put life for most of us on HOLD, while it takes the lives of others.  I wonder how differently my outlook and perspective would be if I were immune compromised, if I were elderly...if I found myself in my home all alone.

I've heard the conspiracy theories, that this is all a ruse, and this is just population control.  I've heard that we're one thin line away from Martial Law, and military patrolling the streets...but I refuse to give in to those kind of mindsets.  I can't....I cannot see my loved ones as germ carriers, I cannot STOP missing my newly born niece, and I will not allow the hysteria of the times, take away my optimistic outlook on life.  No matter how dire the times may be.  

Lately I keep wishing that Narnia was a real place and I could just pop in the ole wardrobe and go to another world to ride this whole thing out, a place where viruses aren't out to get you, only ice witches!

Being cooped up in the house with nowhere to go and nothing to do is trying, I won't say it isn't....I'm pretty sure I've gained 12 pounds and my ass is growing substantially bigger by the day!  Quarantine has not been kind to my waistline, but when the only thing you have to look forward to is what you're going to have to eat at any given time, well, it's sure to have an affect.

The sunshine is out today....and as the days pass, and we get closer to warmer temps and weather that permits outdoor activity, it will be that much more difficult to stay away from our loved ones!  I just want to hug my mom, ya know...like really hug her tight....and I just want to hold babies in my arms and stop sanitizing from head to toe!

For the first time since my husband and I have been together...he's laid off.  That's an adjustment.  I'm going to work while my husband and step-son are at home.  I no longer complain about going to work, now I'm "lucky" to have a job.  I'm "lucky" if I find toilet paper on a shelf.  I'm "lucky" I'm not sick.  Funny how priorities change and suddenly you're Lucky if you have things you once took for granted as a given.

A month ago, the Hubs was getting ready to put up a shop up on our lot across the street.  Building permit granted, loan from the bank completed..money in hand.  Contractor ready to start...then boom.  He gets laid off from work!  Funny how something like a virus can totally derail all your plans.  All the concerts we have tickets to and were planning on going to....changed, cancelled, postponed.  The only thing I DO kind of still hold out hope for is to go for some motorcycle rides.  As far as I know we're still allowed to do that.

I worry A LOT about my sister Angie who works in health care.  And I worry about her family, and their possible exposure to everything she's being exposed to.  I cannot begin to imagine what each and every nurse, doctor, medical personnel goes through each day when they head off to this new age "war zone" of viruses and death...each wondering if today's the day that they are exposed and infected.  I pray a lot for everyone out there fighting the good fight and taking care of the sick and the suffering.

I'm also so thankful for those who are stocking shelves, and bravely going out to their jobs at grocery stores and Walmart and the like who do not get paid a super-hero's salary, yet they put their imaginary cape on each day and go to work, so the rest of us can eat and wipe our butts and watch stupid amounts of Netflix while laying around riding out this Viral Storm.  Strangely enough, I'm really looking forward to mowing the grass!  I might have to fight the Hubs for the right to, but my butt's 12 pounds heavier than it was before, I might be able to sit on him until he gives up and lets me.

What I wouldn't give to wake up and realize that this was all just a bad dream, that our new reality was just imaginary....but alas, each day, I wake up to this new reality, and I wonder....what the world will be like when this is over?  The thing about viruses is, they take the rich or the poor, the old and the young, it doesn't care about the color of your skin, nor the size of your home...we are all just hosts, and are a respiratory droplet away from being it's next victim.

I have a tattoo on my wrist that says "Faith"...for various reasons, first and foremost I wanted it to remember and cherish Baby Faith (my niece) who came into this world only to leave it forever changed.  But I also got it because Faith is what gets you through to the other side of all things.  Whatever comes, Faith holds you together.  And Faith is also a promise, that no matter the outcome, in this world or the next...it's ok.  It's not that scary to die if you have faith in where you go after.

So....in conclusion, if you need me, i'll either be at work, or at home.  But no matter where I am, I'm looking forward to "the after"...which is a magical place, where we can go back to hugging loved ones, and hopefully, the forever changed...to never take it for granted again.  Ya'll look out, when this IS over, I'm hugging the shit out of each and every one of you!  You've been warned!

Love,*HeatherLynn*

Tell me I was Dreaming

Irony and Old Books!

As a follow up to yesterday's post, I'll post this:

It's interesting that THIS was my daily read after yesterday's dilemma.

Not bad for a free book from the thrift store huh?

Sometimes the answers you seek are in the most obscure places!

I'd like to thank Ms. Gertrude Hall or her descendants for donating it to good will so that it would find it's way to me.

Happy Tuesday ya'll!

~Heather Lynn~

Kindness at a cost?

So ya'll know that one of my favorite places in the world (or at least in my neck of the world) is Schoonover park.  It's where Jerimy and I got married, it's where I go and walk/run around the lake there on nice days on my lunch hour....it's where I've gone when I'm sad, or just need to hear the birds chirp...its my own personal slice of heaven. 

Today, I went out as usual for my walk, the sun was shining, the birds were chirping, the water glistening....it was lovely.  I loved every minute of my walk around the lake and had decidedly wanted to go around a second time, however, I had to pee really bad, and I just thought I had better just do one time around today, and shoot for two next time.  So I jumped in my car, drove up the little drive to the park's restroom facility and upon arrival found a man standing in front of my car where I parked it, him being between myself and my car and the entrance to the ladies side of the restroom.  He was a middle aged man, Probably between 45 and 55 years of age.  African American, wearing several layers of clothes even though it's nearly 70 degrees outside.  Average height, average weight.  Nothing in particular about him seemed alarming.  Once out of the car, He put his hands in the air and said, "Stop, don't shoot!  I'll give you everything I have.  Don't hurt me" in a joking manner, I smiled at him and said, "You don't have to worry about me hurting you!" as I walked around him towards the restroom. 

"What's your name" he said as I walked nearer to him.  "Heather" I said politely as I briskly kept walking.  "Hello Heather!" he said in response.  "Don't you worry miss heather, I'm not going to let nobody get in there past me!  I've got your back!" he said as I rounded the corner and into the entrance.  "Not Nobody!  Not Donald Trump, not Bill Clinton, not even Barack Obama, Ain't nobody getting past me Heather!" I heard him say from outside.  I peed quickly, washed my hands and emerged unscathed by any past or present United States Presidents that might be roaming around Lima for no particular reason.

"Miss Heather, can I bother you for a ride to Lima Senior?"  Lima Senior High School being not too awful far from where we stood.  "I got a bad hip you see and I work at UNOH cleaning out the dorms and I'm all messed up from working so hard over there.  I checked my gut to see what it was telling me about this strange man asking me for a favor.  Normally I get a really good feeling about situations like these, and my gut's never the strong silent type, my gut is always giving me it's opinion on things solicited and unsolicited.

I was on the spot, I had to make a decision.  Do I give this stranger a ride, or do I make something up and leave him where I found him.  I yell at Jerimy all the time for picking up hitchhikers....he's done it many times since we've been together....and here I was faced with the same situation as I tell him to avoid.

I surprised myself when I found myself saying yes.  I was really torn though, because one side of me was like, "HEATHER!  ARE YOU INSANE!!??!!" there was another side of me that said "SHOW THIS MAN A KINDNESS!  YOU HAVE THE TIME.  SHOW HIM THAT THE COLOR OF HIS SKIN DOESN'T MAKE YOU AFRAID OF HIM!  DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR SOMEONE IN NEED"  It was that voice in my head that had me saying ok.

I cleaned off the seat for him and he climbed in.  And we were off.  I could smell alcohol on his breath and my gut said, "YOU IDIOT!  YOU'RE GOING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED BEING KIND!".....but I reassured myself that it was broad daylight on a Monday, he PROBABLY wouldn't kill me.  But I've watched so many crime shows, I always stay aware of my surroundings, I carry my key like a weapon when I walk/run alone, I don't wear earbuds so I'm not distracted and unaware of someone coming up on me....yet here I was giving a strange man a ride, and nobody knew where I was, who I was with, or that I had just put myself into a compromising situation on a random Monday in April.

"Are you single, divorced, Married?" he asked.  "Married" I replied.  "turn here" he said.  I turned.  "So you wanting to leave him?  He ever tell you you can't have no money or he tell you not to be cashing his checks?"  I replied with "No, me and my husband have separate accounts.  He doesn't tell me how to spend my money and I don't tell him how to spend his" and he threw his hands up, clapped and smiled big and said "Oh Miss Heather, I need to find me a woman like you!"

"Turn here" he said as we then headed east towards the school.

"Turn here?" I asked as we approached the first driveway for the school."

"Nope, keep going"  he said  "You've got to let me take you to dinner!"

"Noooooo, my husband wouldn't appreciate that" I replied.

"This Drive?"  I asked as we approached the second drive.

"Nope, keep going!" he instructed.

"This is where he drives you off somewhere to kill you" my gut said in a near shouting voice now!

And it was then that I got nervous.  We were now passed the school and heading into a residential area.  Ok, turn here he said as we were then heading south.

I'm looking down this street, pretty sure it was a dead end street.  My palms were sweating, my heart was really pounding....."what was I thinking letting a strange man into my car!?!?!"

"Heather, you wouldn't happen to have five dollars would you?"  He asked with a smile.

"I don't have five dollars" I quickly said in return.

"Turn here!" he said, and magically we were on a side street that headed right into the heart of the school's campus.  "See that yellow house there, just go ahead and pull up front there and I'm going to get out" he said.

I did as he instructed, and he tried really hard to get me to give him my phone number....to which I reminded him I was very happily married.  He then grabbed my hand, pulled it upward and caressed it, kissed it and said "There's just something special about you Heather, I suspect you are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside!" and with that, he exited my car and I tried really hard not to squeal my tires as I drove off a little too quickly for someone who wasn't afraid of picking up random strangers outside of women's restrooms in nearly abandoned parks.

My spidey senses were in FULL alarm mode by this time and my hands felt shaky on the steering wheel and I had that rush of adrenaline you feel like when you just narrowly avoid a head on car collision with a Semi at 70 miles an hour.  "Why had I just did that?  TO what... prove I wasn't a racist?  Prove that it's ok to pick up hitchhikers? 

All I kept coming back to though was that I had really really wanted to do something kind for a stranger, and somehow be the change I wanted to see in the world.  I wanted so badly to be good in a bad world, that I nearly put myself into a situation were the outcome could have been a whole lot different just to prove a point to myself?  Just to tempt fate?!  I don't know.....I'm still kind of at a loss as to whether what I did was kind or just plain reckless!

In the moment I felt that I was supposed to be the type of person to be generous of spirit and GIVE to my fellow man, but after I did it, I couldn't help but feel like while it was a kind gesture, that really was not well thought out....and there's other ways to show kindness to my fellow man.  Yet, I'm still torn, is it in these situations that we are to make these small differences...not on a grand scale, but on a one on one basis on the people we meet in the streets and alleys?  Does God want us to show kindness in the face of danger and trust that he's got your back?!  .....OR....did I open myself up to my own possible demise?  Will being kind get me killed someday?

My book 'Dead in a Ditch' was titled so because my real life father used to tell me all the time, that they would find me dead in a ditch someday because I was too trusting, too stupid and didn't have a healthy fear of people.  He told me so many times that one day, being trusting would get me killed!

I don't want to live in a world where I have to be afraid of my fellow man.  I don't want to live in a world where being kind is the most dangerous thing a person can do.

So you guys tell me, was it kind?  was it stupid?  or was it both? Would you have done it?

And just so it's out there....let me just say, that there are two things that I do that are dangerous....I ride a motorcycle without a helmet, and apparently I show kindness to strangers and open myself up to possibly being murdered in the process.  But I want anyone reading this to know.....If I die riding my motorcycle, please know that I knew the dangers, don't feel like a terrible injustice has been done should I die while doing it.  I knew the risks, I took them!  I know that every time I get on my bike, it could be my last time.  But I am not going to stop riding.  And if I get killed in some freak "showing kindness" situation, if they do IN FACT find me dead in a ditch someday, know that I knew there was risk in whatever I did to get myself there.  AND KNOW that I did it out of love of life, and LOVE of my fellow man that I risked my own safety to put some kindness into the world.  If I die being kind to someone, I guess there are worse ways to go.

Luv,

~Heather Lynn~

40 year Old Wishes and Husbands that Amaze

When my husband asked me "So what does a 40 year old woman want for her birthday"....I realized that I was about to turn 40 years old, and also that my husband was rubbing it in by choosing to ask me in such a fashion.

So I told him the first thing that came to mind:

I want to go out for all you can eat crab legs, and then wake up on a beach and watch the sunrise!

He said:

No Really?

I said:

No!  Really!

And to my absolute astonishment, two weeks later my husband blew me away when he told me that he couldn't take me to our favorite crab leg eating establishment on my birthday, because we'd be on the beach on my birthday!

 

I was in shock at first, and then, THEN I was beaming!!

I cannot begin to tell you how absolutely wonderful it was to go away with my luv, and enjoy some down time.  Aside from a trip to Wisconsin (visiting family), Chicago (Field's Museum Tour) and Indianapolis (for some 4-wheel jamboree thing) we've never really been on vacation together before.  Certainly never in a swanky resort on a beach!!

We'd never drove all night to see a sunset.  Certainly never had a birthday wish granted, and then received a cake, and got to blow out my birthday candles on an actual beach while watching a beautiful sunrise!

What a life affirming trip.

I can't thank my husband enough for such a special trip....making my 40th birthday THE BEST birthday Yet!

This is the hubs, and I really really love him!

<3 <3 <3

~HeatherLynn~

I've been having a bad week:

So I've been having a really bad week....and I've been pretty down in the dumps, so bad in fact that the majority of country songs make me "ugly" cry....(This morning it was "Fancy" by Reba McIntyre"  What can I say, I'm just outta sorts.

I like to watch a lil TV before I go to bed when I want to get my mind off things that are bothering me, and this week, I turned on the TV and it was the discovery channel and it was all about the "Great Barrier Reef".  I find watching fishies and the lovely blues of the water to be soothing, so I laid the remote down and began my nightly bedtime ritual.  Brushed my teeth, took off my make up, took my liver vitamins and such, slid into my jammies, I climbed into bed and at that moment, on my TV, it was showing a sea cucumber going about it's business on the sea bottom.

They are strange creatures.  So Sea Cucumbers go along the sea bottom and basically serve as a sand filter.  They suck up the sand and whatever it contains and they take out anything that is edible out of the sand, and then poops out the rest.  

I thought about that and was like.....I feel like that somedays, like I'm just crawling along, sucking up whatever's there (drama, death in the family, chores, etc., "just suck it up" I tell myself....so I, like the sea cucumber, suck the up the dirty sand, hoping to find something good in it.

....but then it gets worse.  Then comes the pearl fish.  The pearl fish likes to use sea cucumbers.  They are just like whatever's bothering you.  The Pearl Fish swims up and into the Sea Cucumber's ANUS, and hides out there to avoid predators!  let me repeat that, this FISH, SWIMS UP A SEA CUCUMBER'S ASSHOLE and makes it his home.  Leaves me wondering, what on earth did the sea cucumber ever do to deserve to be anally taken advantage of like that?

So, there I was, sitting in bed, my boy George" curled up along my side snoring, in shock and horror as this pearl fish pokes it's head outta the sea cucumbers bum....and think...."Things could be worse Heather.  You could have a fish swim up your butthole and LIVE there!"

GROSS!!!!!

So folks, the moral of the story is:  Don't let your troubles take up residency inside of you....you aren't a sea cucumber!  Your ass is NO SAFE HAVEN for your troubles.  Let that "shit" go!  The sooner the better!!

Luvin the Discovery Channel for it's brutal wisdom brought directly from the Animal Kingdom,

~HeatherLynn~

PS - Kind of gives new meaning to the ole expression of "Oh Blow it out your butt!" doesn't it?