Sunday Night Football Fun..ny:

So here I sit, curled up on my couch, fire burning in the fireplace just in the background of my laptop screen, the Big TV is on, it's week 5 of NFL, The patriots are showing the world that they are in fact an NFL caliber football team, despite last week's showing.

All the pregame talked about was how Tom Brady's 37 and maybe past his prime, they talked about Bill Belicheck considering a Quarterback change...I mean, geesh, you have one bad day at work and next thing you know your job is on the line and an entire nation of football fans think you're all washed up!!

Which got me to thinking, what if us average Joe's had to live under the scrutiny of analysis of how we perform our jobs?  What if after work, we could tune into the highlight reel of our day at work?

Can't you just hear Chris Collinsworth now......:

"Well folks, if you're just tuning in, So far tonight, Heather's been battling the copy machine, it's been a brutal battle of wits and physical strength all night, it's a match up that a lot of people thought would be tough machine on woman coverage....wait, flag on the play, "Paper Jam..." This is going to take five minutes off the clock....Jeanne from IT might have to take a time out here if they hope to continue forward progress.

"Ohhhhh...wow, what a hit!  Greg, Heather's boss just slammed her with six new cases with only 4 minutes left on the clock, it's going to be interesting to see what she does here, does she go for it on 4th down, or will she punt?  It's a crucial situation and she faces a tough defense.  Oh, ok, she will punt the work down field.....and it makes it all the way down to the 8:30 am. tomorrow line where we'll see what can be done to pass these cases off to a receiver.

Ohhhhhh...What a hit!  Heather took it to the inside and was HIT hard by Judy, who released 27 cases of heavy hard hitting cases that need sorted and documented, and forwarded to their prospective team.  Heather was a 4th round draft pick, coming out of Rhodes State College, in her rookie season, she faced fierce opposition up and down the field, every single time she set foot on the second floor.

This just in, Head Coach Greg M. is going head to head with one of the Referee's over a Judgment Entry made against Osting, She may loose field position, and possibly preferred parking in the company Parking lot.  Osting's predecessor, a recent 3rdD Hall of Fame inductee, would have never made a rookie mistake of this magnitude!

With only six yards from the redzone, Osting has fumbled the paperclip, and it was recovered by a Law Clerk, who ran it down the hallway and deposited it in the supply drawer.  That's the fifteenth paperclip this week Osting has let slip through her fingers!  It's this kind of sloppy office work and lack of dedication that will determine whether she'll stay in the league.

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And how about having people announce on National Television that you're 37, and past your prime, unable to perform the basic function of your job and people demanding you be "cut" from the team and replaced by some young Andrew-Luck-Punk straight out of college!

Peyton, you keep right on throwing that ball man!  You're a talent at any age in my opinion.  Most recent Superbowl aside....I think we ALL want to forget about that disaster.

Sure, but they make millions of dollars you say...yeah, they do, and their name's in lights...and they get endorsement deals, and trophy wives, etc.  But they also have to work in SPANDEX, sometimes WHITE spandex, we all know how unflattering and unforgiving that can be...

{NEED I SAY MORE?}

They are forced to wear "shoulder pads" under their work uniform and everyone knows that shoulder pads in the workplace went out of style with Miami Vice!  

{NOT EVEN CINDY FRIGGIN CRAWFORD LOOKS GOOD IN SHOULDER PADS!}

They aren't allowed any performance enhancing drugs....

I couldn't even function at my job without my morning coffee coursing through my veins....

And the poor bastards have to work almost every weekend!  They NEVER get to sit on the couch and be lazy, wearing Pj pants, eating pizza while curled up with their dog George, watching their favorite NFL team play on Sunday.

Kind of makes you happy you don't make millions of dollars at your job doesn't it?

Um, NO!  SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!

No, No, seriously, Keep the millions, I could never work in White Spandex...and I'm not a fan of my superiors and coworkers smacking my ass as a sign of a job well done, that shit's just creepy!  

Sincerely,

A Football-luvin

disappointed Chicago Bears Fan in Ohio,

~HeatherLynn~