Simplify:(Life + Mind) = Happy?

{I just Love Albert Einstein...wasn't he just the coolest?}

I don't know if you know this about me, but I HATE math.  I totally and unequivocally SUCK at it beyond words.  Even though here I sit trying to find the words to tell you how sucky I really am.  *shrugs*...Not only is it NOT my forte, I also have what I'm pretty sure is "Math Anxiety"....someone comes at me with a Math Problem these days, I throw my hands up in the air and say "heck I'm the worst person to ask"....but in my younger school days, when confronted with Math, my stomach would gets all queasy, palms sweaty and my head would instantly get foggy and swirling with confusion.  To me, Math is complicated, and things have to be done in a particular order, it's very structured, and perhaps that's why my mind rejects it, because my mind is far from orderly, disciplined, and certainly doesn't always come up with the correct answers.  Not in Math, and not always in life.

 

In recent research and developments and discovery of ideas and whatnot, I've heard it said that life isn't supposed to be so complicated!...ain't that the truth!?  Why IS life so complicated?  Do we make it this way?  So I want to try and do something about this:

This became clear to me as I was contemplating purchasing a new cell phone and cell phone carrier/plan.  Oh the fancy phones this world has to offer!  They talk to you, they navigate you, they entertain and keep you company.  How many times have you went to a social function where 78% of the people there aren't even talking to each other because they are on their phone's, surfing the web, texting, throwing Angry birds at things?  Pretty frequently in my experience.  Our phones are never off, away from our pockets and purses...we are chained to them like prisoners to a leg iron and ball.

 

Now don't get me wrong, I like having a phone, and technology is great.....BUT....when faced with purchasing a new phone....a "smart phone"....I really thought about it, and I don't want my phone to take up more of my life than it already does.  I don't want to be constantly checking my email.....surfing the web, googling the answer to everything I'm asked.

 

I'm at a computer all day at work, I have a laptop and a desk top at home.....why do I need ANOTHER device to distract me from really awesome things like talking to Easton....getting to hear how football practice went today, having him show me the fat lip he got.....or enjoying the dinner I cooked....without facebooking.  It's no wonder our minds are constantly OCD, the television's going, our phone's are ringing, the microwave's beeping, there's a radio blaring down the hall.....alarm clocks going off.....Is there any peace left in daily life anymore?

 {sometimes I feel like all these things are weighing over my head and are about to cave in on me}

 

And that's what the experts are saying, we are overwhelmed to the point of exhaustion in our lives these days.  Especially Americans.  Other cultures make it a point to go slowly, deliberately, stopping to smell the roses, stopping to feel the sunshine on their cheeks, working only to get to be able to relax, and enjoy life.

 

I've been thinking a lot about meditation.  I've heard a lot about it, and I find it interesting.  To sit quietly and learn to navigate your mind, the way an explorer navigated the undiscovered West back in the early days of our Country's history.

 

I want to learn to take deep breaths, and calm the buzzing insanely random thoughts that bounce around inside my head.  I want to find clarity and peace in myself.

They say that meditation, not to be confused with MEDICATION can help you with this.

 

I'm not entirely sure how one begins to get into something like this....I supposed by googling "how to learn to meditate"...which I did yesterday....it was mildly educational...but not totally fulfilling.

 

 

I'm going to continue to read up on this Meditation stuff...perhaps it would be good for me.

 

In other news, I've totally NOT worried about things for awhile now!  Isn't that fantastic.  I said I wasn't going to worry about things, and I've like.....wow, really let go of the notion that I need to.  Now, when i feel that flutter of worry down in my stomach, I just take a very deep breath, and tell myself, "Heather, m'girl, we're not doing that anymore"...and then just like that, I'm not worried.  Flutter ceases and I go about my day.  It's such a weight off my shoulder to feel like...I don't have to worry about anything.  I either do what I can to fix a problem, or I don't...there's just no good that can come from WORRYING about an issue, worrying in fact turns out to be a gigantic waste of time.  Huh, how did I not see that before?

 

In other news furthermore:  Due to my last post, something most profound happened.  I got an email from someone much wiser than me, someone who knows more, done more, been more than I have yet in this life, and this person sent me an email and gave me some scripture verses she felt I could appreciate while my heart was still open and excited about spirituality.  She said God had tapped her on the shoulder and said "Ok, you can talk to her about it now"...apparently she wanted to share some spiritual things with me previously, however bit her tongue, because she wasn't sure I was in a good place to receive it.  She was probably right of course......

So anyway, she typed up the scriptures, and they were good ones, but nothing was so good, or so profound that would top what she said to me after:

 

Here's what she said:

 

Heather, I just realized I left out the most important part of my response to your email. I forgot to say how much I enjoyed your blog and how much I'm enjoying your journey of self-discovery. You are such a sensitive and caring soul. This always comes out in your writing. I hope I didn't share too much of my faith in the last email that it might have made you uncomfortable because I would feel terrible if that was the case. Before today's blog, some of your others have been filled with the 'what ifs' in life which is why I felt God tapping on my shoulder and saying, "Share some things that will remind Heather she doesn't need to ever fear anything."


 

 I have been absolutely CRIPPLED by what'if's in my life.

And I was wound so tight to trying to keep a grip on things, so these what if's couldn't happen.

I'd worry about the what'if's.  I'd obsess about them, I'd over extend myself to try and head them off when I thought I could, I would wrap my world around these damned what'if's and they then became rooted at the very center of my being.

Like my beating heart at the core of me, there were those damned what'if's running the show, coursing through me in every fiber of my being.

DUMB, DUMB, DUMB.

How I ever let it get this bad I dont' know, but as soon as this person sent this email, as soon as I read: "doesn't need to fear anything"...It was like I was released.

I was free of fear.

God told this person to tell me it was ok to stop.

And I was like, "he's so totally got my back"....

and worry then just kinda took it's leave, fear waved goodbye, and out the door they went!

 

{it's so simple, how did I not get that before}

 

*slaps forehead*

 

See, us humans can make the most simple things complicated!

 

Lastly, I want to get rid of a bunch of stuff.  I have absolutely too much stuff!

 

I'm not a hoarder by any means, but I think that in "stuff"....less is gonna be more.

That calculator i had in college, the fancy one, I'm never going to use it again, why keep it?

That argyle sweater that I keep saying I need to have "just in case"...just in case what?  I have an argyle sweater emergency?

The Michigan State hoodie that's 2 sizes too big, that I bought in Michigan....I don't even like Michigan State, and haven't worn it in like 6 years....time to go bye bye.

 

So I'm going to (hopefully this weekend) go through my entire house, and purge.  Goodbye cluttery nick-knacks.  Goodbye rainy day wardrobe....and T-shirts I'll never wear.

 

It's time to simplify.

 

 

Here's to getting a cell phone that doesn't take me away from "living in the moment"

Here's to saying goodbye to clutter

And lastly, here's to throwing out the things I don't need,

to make plenty of room for the things that I do.

 

Yours,

~HeatherLynn~