Before Christian Grey.....

Before there was Christian Grey, There was "E. Edward Grey", from the Movie the Secretary.

I've never watched anything like it,

It's truly a strange movie, but one that held me captivated by it's intensity.

It's graphic, yet, there's something beautiful in it.

I haven't read 50 Shades of Grey, but from what I hear of it, perhaps you too might enjoy this movie.

or the novel it's based upon:

 I have not read the novel, but in case you're more of a reader (as I hope you are) than a movie watcher, I wanted to equip you with all the information I could! :)

I feel bad about it, but I have a confession!

I like to think of myself as a person who loves all, accepts all, doesn't judge, keeps an open mind....

I mean, I really pride myself in these things, 

yet each and every single day

I fail miserably...

When I

Judge others

by what they look like!

I'm so ashamed.

EXAMPLE #1:

For instance, the guy in Chevy Corsica, a car he probably bought new in '88 right after he retired at 55.

It likely only has about 42 thousand miles on it, because since retirement, he hasn't went anywhere except to the store, to church and to Dr. Apts.

He's 81 now, healthy as a horse and Social Security is hoping he dies off soon, because they hate it when people outlive their welcome around there.

and at 81, with a 26 year old Chevy Corsica, neither he, OR his car are moving very fast.

EXAMPLE #2

If I come up on a Truck that looks like this:

first things first, I look to see if the truck is jacked up, has "mud tires", is a 4x4, or if it has "stacks".  If it has any of these things, there's a good chance it's a Northwestern Kid aka UNOH, and they are ok, they keep the road interesting for sure so I don't worry about them.

But if it's a single cab, two wheel drive, has twine of any kind dangling from it, or a 55 gallon barrel in the bed, they too are automatically put int the same category as the 81 year old Corsica driver.

EXAMPLE #3

If your back window looks like this!

Or if any of the below pictures are you...

I'm so sorry, but I've probably totally snubbed, judged, or avoided you!

I cannot say how sorry I am for automatically thinking you may be "stinky", "slow", "dirty" or "annoyingly stopping too many times for my liking"

I realize I don't own the road, and you have every right to be on it too, so I hope you'll forgive me if you see a silver SUV streaking past you as if you have the plague.

OR THIS in your rear-view mirror, trying to pass you as quickly as possible:

I'm sorry.

It's not you,

its me.

Love,

HeatherLynn

on a side note, THESE GUYS,

Always seem to be in a hurry to get to making their stops, so they are ok to follow, so long as you watch for turn signals!
And they generally seem to be in a big hurry to "get home"!

In My Opinion....

I think people who buy Almanacs:

secretly believe that one day, something like THIS just might happen:

Marty McFly, a typical American teenager of the Eighties, is accidentally sent back to 1955 in a plutonium-powered DeLorean "time machine" invented by slightly mad scientist. During his often hysterical, always amazing trip back in time, Marty must make certain his teenage parents-to-be meet and fall in love - so he can get back to the future.

Here's what I know....

Dieting with aspirations to look like this:

makes me FEEL like THIS:

Photography:

For those of you who love a pretty picture, I posted some JUST for you on my photography blog....go have a look for yourself!

"Do You See What I See?" (A Photo Blog)

It's that time of Year Again!

You know what makes me smile!??!

Downton Abbey's back!

Woot woot!

It better not be as sad as last season...

Or I'm going to demand the change the name of the show to "DOWNER Abbey!"

Just sayin!

You hear me Julian Fellowes!??!?!

Love the show, please quit killing people I <3

Oh, pretty please

*said in my best brittish accent*

Greetings from subzero temperatures Ohio.....

You know it's cold out when you pick out your panties based on "what looks warm"...

I think THIS is going to be the next big fashion Trend in the Delphos/Spencerville/Lima/Fort Jennings/Van Wert area!

Fur Panties anyone?

You know you want to!

"yeahhhhh babyyyyy!"

bow chicka bow wow!

*said in my best Barry White Voice*

Come for the hospitality, LEAVE due to insanely unstable, and a lot of times Undesirable, weather conditions! 

Its never easy to admit your shortcomings:

I was bored the other night and was surfing NETFLIX for something to watch and came across a documentary titled "the Perfect Human Diet"....I watched it and was very interested in some of the things they discussed. Some made perfect sense, and some made my boyfriend of 4 years roll his eyes and say, "Why are you watching this crap!" 

I love knowledge, and I love hearing of other people's research on topics that interest me. Being a woman, of 35 years of age, nothing like a slowing metabolism, a desk job that makes your @ss grow at record speed, and a boyfriend you still want to look desirable to, to make you TOTALLY interested in THE HUMAN DIET. 

I will be the first to tell you I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE pizza and Chinese food, and pasta, and bread, and cookies, and Mexican, chips and salsa, cheese....I love soups with a cream base, I love a good Heath Bar Blizzard ice cream treat....food, has been such a wonderful thing to experience, until it wasn't me experiencing food, so much as food experiencing me! 

A quite a few years back, stuck in an unhappy marriage, and my own parents going through a catastrophic divorce which was filled with court battles, domestic violence disputes, I gained a record amount of weight and bordered on having a nervous breakdown. What resulted from those bleak times, was me going on an "atkins-like" diet and lost 30 pounds in like 3 months! It was wonderful to no longer look at the clothes I was folding out of the dryer of mine, and thinking to myself, HOLY FREAKING COW THESE KHAKIS ARE HUMONGOUS! THESE CAN"T BE MINE!! 

That was then, and this is now, and here I am, once more, looking at my clothes and thinking....my butt really can't be THAT big, CAN IT?!!? 

And so, with your help and support, here I go once again, to set out on a journey of "self control", the abolishing of gluttony, and the quest for smaller pants! 

I don't want to feel like crap anymore. I don't want to be sluggish and foggy-minded (which as a writer, really hinders the creative juices which I need to finish my next novel).... 

So join with me if you will....don't let me fail. Hold me accountable, tell me my butt looks big in those jeans....(with love and sympathy) and let 2014 be the year I stop being a victim and a hostage to food, and let the joys in my life be my family, writing, photography, lets get crazy and throw exercise out there again.... 

Who's with me? 

Sincerely, 

Tired of being "Chubby in Ohio" 

Heather Lynn Osting

If you haven't signed up for MYFITNESSPAL yet, do so, and befriend me! :)
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/

Old Articles

An Article that the Delphos Herald was kind enough to Publish & Sara Berelsman took the time to Write!  Both of Which I'm honored to have had the priviledge to have spoke with/ worked with! Under the Covers

Thursday, June 20, 2013 12:26 AM

Heather Lynn Osting I decided to take a departure from my usual book review format and start doing some Q & A with authors. I recently had the chance to interview Heather Osting, author of Dead in a Ditch, and ask her some questions about this page-turner. Osting’s first book takes place in Delphos, which is one of the reasons it is so original. She has made various public appearances and done local book signings recently. What follows below are the questions and answers I had a chance to ask Osting. Q: I want to know what inspired the characters. A: Well, the main character’s modeled after myself, mostly because it’s just easier to write as if “I” were the one doing the things in the story. The other characters were loosely based on people I know — old school teachers, people around town, etc. I would just name the character, and then I’d go through my mind about what I thought that character would look like. Q: What inspired the storyline? A: Well, the whole left for dead idea came in a couple ways. I was told growing up that I would be found “dead in a ditch” someday. So that’s where that came from and then the idea of waking up in the middle of nowhere beaten half to death came to me one day driving home from Ottawa. I was on my way home from work, several years ago, and the sun was shining on my cheek, and it was so warm and wonderful, and my imagination just grabbed that, and I closed my eyes and wondered what it would be like to wake up basking in the sunshine, thinking everything was wonderful, only to open my eyes and realize it wasn’t. The sun has a way of making everything feel all warm and cozy. My mind wanders a lot when I drive, so I always keep a pen and paper in my car just in case something comes to me. Q: So who told you you’d be dead in a ditch? A: My parents. We grew up at a campgrounds; my parents owned Woods and Waters and so there were always “strangers” around. I think they were afraid that our “public” business would bring people around that perhaps weren’t always 100 percent trustworthy. And of course when you grow up around that sort of business, you think everyone is nice and perfectly okay to trust. Q: Did anything inspire the names of the characters? A: Well, I always loved the name Vivienne but I was born a “Heather,” so it’s fun to give your characters the name you wish your parents would’ve named you. My mom in the book is named after an eland, which she raised when we had our zoo. The name “Knox” I got by brainstorming names of cities. I knew Knox’s real name wasn’t going to be “Knox,” so I looked for something that would just be his “biker name.” I will research all sorts of names when trying to name a character. Sometimes I go through the phone book, other times I think of names of booze, or cities, or even soldier names of people who died in the Civil War. I’m intent on getting “the perfect” name for my characters at times. Q: Did you always know this book would become a trilogy? A: No, I didn’t. But when I finished book No. 1, I was like, that was fun; I’m ready to write another. And I personally love a good series of books; you get so much more out of a series than just one novel. You get to know your characters inside and out and when you’re left wanting more it’s awesome to know that you’re going to get more. I honestly don’t know how many books in the series there will be. I have two written and am working on a third. I had a fun time reading Osting’s book and chatting with her. If you get a chance, pick up a copy of Dead in a Ditch for some good beach reading this summer. Look for her next book, The Ordeal, to come out in July. Happy reading.

 

Remembering Someone I did not know, but will forever remember:

So I watched the YouTube Video of the St. Johns children singing to Chris Kemper and Erin, and his girls. I did not know Chris, I went to school with Erin, and I've never met his children, but I bawled like a baby to see the outpouring of love and support the Delphos Community gave to him in his final days here on earth. Such a wonderful example of faith, community, warmth and love....I know so many people say that living in a small town isn't for them, that Delphos is a gossipy town, everyone know everyone's business, water bills are too high, the streets need plowed, the school levy didn't pass.....but in times like these, despite all of our woes and strife, WE DO know how to come together for our neighbors, and our fellow man. Life is so very short, fragile and sweet. Money don't make a town, neighbors/friends/family....make a COMMUNITY! Chris Kemper, I honor you by telling you that you touched my heart, got tears flowing from my eyes in your honor, to the family he's left behind, you have my deepest condolences. the song Silent Night, once again, has new meaning.

My Ivy and Me.....

A lot of people ask me why I got "a tree" tattooed to my back....well to those who don't know....what my tattoo means to me, well let me tell you.  It started with a dream I had.  In my dream, I was falling apart.....like my body, my life, everything was falling apart....but when I looked down at my naked body, I was wrapped up in an ivy vine, thick, lush, green....the most beautiful green I'd ever seen....and it was what was holding me together.  It was beautiful and strong, binding....supportive....hopeful....unyielding in it's purpose.  

When I woke up, It was so profound and meaningful to me, I KNEW, knew with 100% certainty, that I needed that vine.  I had finally found what I'd long awaited to discover and that was WHAT I wanted forever.  Other considerations....Poison Ivy keeps people at a distance....for those I want to stay away....(some people think tattoos are scary....perhaps I'm trying to repel some people)....also, green, the color green is notorious for redheads, as it's said to "temper" us...to calm our fiery red passions and flare ups.  I've always loved that ivy is pretty....yet un-flowering.....it grew strong, it grew thick, and it goes any way it wants....when it meets a concrete wall...it doesn't stop, it climbs up and over.....there's nothing that stands in the way of ivy.  Even when you chop the shit out of it, and TRY to kill it, it's very resilient and often times comes right back.

My friend Amy told me the other day that Ivy is a symbol in England for Luck....which made me want to do a little research into my treasured inked ivy, and here's what I found.....and I have to tell you, based upon what I already believed.....and compounded with the new information I've discovered, I couldn't have picked something more perfect.

Enjoy

~hl~

--------------------

I am thinking of naming Jerimy and I's woods behind our house that we bought....how fitting would THIS be?

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bacchus, who was the Roman god of wine and revelry (a.k.a. 'Dionysius'), wore a crown of the evergreen Ivy as the symbol of immortality.

Likewise, Osiris (the god of the afterlife, underworld or dead), in ancient Egypt, who was represented as carrying a rod entwined with Ivy at all times.

A cult of worshipers grew around the god, Bacchus, to celebrate the joys of liberation through intoxication. The revelers often wore the crown of Ivy, too, believing it complimented or counter-balanced the effects of the grape. (Ironically, Ivy also stood for intellectual achievement in ancient Rome.) Legend tells of Bacchus evading his enemies by crossing a bridge of vines and ivy over the Euphrates River. Another myth finds Bacchus pursued by pirates at sea -- and saved when the enemy ship's rigging became crippled by clinging Ivy. The Ivy-crowned head of Bacchus can be seen on ancient Roman coins, circa 48 BC.

In old Ireland, the Celts regarded the Ivy as a symbol of determination, death, and spiritual growth. When portrayed with its spiral growth around a tree it represented rebirth, joy and exhilaration. The power of the Ivy to cling and bind and even kill the mighty oak impressed the ancient Druids. In respect of Ivy's strength, they and other Pagan cultures used it in sacred rituals. As an evergreen plant, it became a symbol of everlasting life, and it was the Irish poet who traditionally wore the Ivy crown.

Christian artists saw the Ivy's spiralling growth as a sign or symbol of the Resurrection. It represented the ascension of the spirit to the Divine. Earlier, the Christian church rejected both the Ivy and Vine as pagan symbols. They were being used in the Roman Saturnalia celebrations of winter, during which the god's staff was made of Holly and his sacred bird was said to nest in Ivy. Centuries later, the Holly and the Ivy became inseparable as Christmas plants, their Pagan connections forgotten.

In times past, lovers took the Ivy to be the symbol of their fidelity. Brides carried it in their wedding bouquets, while women wore it for fertility and good luck. Must have been Ivy's reputation for multiplying in the toughest conditions, growing even in near dark. In Victorian times, the Ivy was a symbol of wedded love and friendship in matrimony.

In England, Ivy is a popular Christmas plant bringing good luck and joy. Grow it up the wall of your house and your life and property will be more secure and better protected. 

Just try taking it down! 

info collected at:  

http://www.vanishingtattoo.com/tattoos_designs_symbols_ivy_vines.htm  

Sh*t Happens. :)

One thing I have realized as I've gotten older is

that Knickknacks get broken, it just happens.

It's how the stronger knickknacks weed out the weaker ones.

Knickknack natural selection if you will.

Under the Influence...

of anesthesia....

Today my dearest "future step-son" "E" had his tonsils and adenoids removed, and his sinuses scraped, and a tube put in his ear.  Fun right?

Well, the fun wasn't him being hacked up by a surgeon we don't know, but by the lingering effects of anesthesia as he came out of his medically induced unconsciousness.

He did fun things like pick up his arm, and let it drop, over and over saying "My arm is so heavy!" in total amazement.

then he told Jerimy that he thought the doctor had made him bigger, because he felt like he was bigger!  

lol...poor little peanut, he's going to sober up and realize he's the same size as he was before, just minus some body parts that he once had.

-------------

I had my appendix out awhile back, and boy if there was YouTube back then, I'd of been in real trouble, because here's what I did in recovery.

1st - I ripped the oxygen hose outta my nose and started flailing about.  I then began gasping for breath, heaving and wailing about saying I couldn't breath...the recovery nurse said, "Dear, if you couldn't breath, you couldn't talk to tell me you can't breathe"

2nd - then I started screaming that I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe and I was blind!  My nurse said "Honey, you have to open your eyes to see, you're eyes are just closed!  Just open your eyes dear, you're not blind, you'll see"

3rd -   (After I figured out how to open my eye lids)...the saga continues....I started screaming that I didn't have any panties on!  I yelled at the very nice recovery staff accusing them of steeling my panties, I was naked and they STOLE my panties.  I was making quite the ruckus, until my good friend Michelle Bayman came to my aid.  Poor recovery nurse was probably beside herself with what to do with me, so they brought in a pro...my high school classmate, good friend, and wonderful Surgery Assistant / NOW RN.

She assured me that nobody had stolen my panties, that they were with all my other clothes, and that I would get them back once I was back in my room.

When they wheeled me back to my room from recovery, my family was waiting outside, I still wasn't done terrorizing people, my mom leaned in to say something to me, or just smile at me or whatever, and I grabbed a fist ful of her shirt, said "ooooooohhhhhh...pretty!  I have the same shirt!"  and then I got grabby and tried to rip it off of her stating that she was wearing MY shirt!  Which for the record, I did NOT have the same shirt at home, I'd never seen her shirt before in my life...

So today, my dearest and sincerest wishes and respect goes out to people in the medical field, and especially those poor poor recovery room nurses who get to deal with the insanity that is  people coming down off medical grade anesthetics.

And a special thank you goes out to my dearest Michelle, who is my one friend, who I can honestly say "knows me inside and out"

I still blush sometimes when I see her, she's also my only friend to have ever seen me naked!...Naked AND unconscious!  Well, that I know of anyway!

*Laughs*

Five days til Christmas!

Are you ready?

~HeatherLynn~

Are the Greeks onto something?

The folklore that follows redheads around is endless.  There are so many beliefs about our origins, about our demeanor....and I've heard them all throughout the years....but this, this one is a first:

But this would definitely explain my love for the Twilight Series, the "Alabaster" colored foundation I must apply to my nearly albino skin this time of year....the fact that I have to stay in the shade so I don't burn to an oblivion, or am required to apply 500 SPF sunblock.

Some other fun facts about redheads:

37 Red Hair and Redhead Facts - taken lovingly from:

http://facts.randomhistory.com/redhead-facts.html

Approximately 1-2% of humans, or about two in 100 people in the world, have red hair.k Otherwise dark hair may turn red or blond in cases of severe protein deficiency due to starvation.c During the Middle Ages, a child with red hair was thought to be conceived during “unclean sex” or during menstruation.b Red hair doesn’t gray as much as other hair colors. Red hair initially tends to turn blond and then white.b According to Hamburg sex researcher Dr. Werner Habermehl, women with red hair have more sex than women with other hair colors. He also postulates that women in a relationship who dye their hair red may be signaling that they are unhappy and looking for something better.gThe most rare hair color in humans is red.b Because natural red hair holds its pigment more than other colors, it is harder to dye.b During the witch hunts of the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries in Europe, many women were burned at the stake as witches merely because they had red hair.i Lilith, the supposed first wife of Adam, is said to have had red hair. She was ultimately kicked out of the Garden of Eden because she refused to be subordinate to Adam.i Redheaded women report bruising more easily than other women of different hair colors.f People with red hair have twice the risk of developing Parkinson’s Disease.d Mark Twain once quipped that “while the rest of the human race are descended from monkeys, redheads derive from cats.”bBecause redheads have thicker hair than people with other hair colors, they have fewer strands of hair. For example, while blondes have on average 140,000 hairs, redheads have approximately 90,000.b Hitler reportedly banned the marriage of redheads in order to prevent “deviant offspring.”i According to George Chapman’s 1613 play Bussy D’Ambois, the perfect poison must include the fat of a red-haired man.i According to legend, the first redhead was Prince Idon of Mu who, upon discovering Atlantis, was imprinted with the island’s stunning red sunset and leaves in the form of red hair and freckles so future generations would be reminded of Atlantis’ first sunset.c Red hair is a recessive trait, which means that a child must inherit one red hair gene from each parent. Recessive traits often come in pairs, and redheads are more likely than other people to be left handed.b Some scholars speculate that because Adam was from “red earth” and the Hebrew word for “red” is adom, that Adam was a redhead.i Scholars note that redheads have influenced history out of proportion to their numbers. Famous redheads include Roman emperor Nero, Helen of Troy, Cleopatra, the ancient god of love Aphrodite, Queen Elizabeth I, Napoleon Bonaparte, Oliver Cromwell, Emily Dickinson, Antonio Vivaldi, Thomas Jefferson, Vincent Van Gogh, Mark Twain, James Joyce, Winston Churchill, Malcolm X, Galileo, and King David.bAccording to Playboy magazine, “Redheads are like other women—only more so.”c The sixteenth-century artist Titian (Tiziano Vecelli) painted so many redheads that his name became associated with a shade of red.i In ancient Rome, redheaded slaves were often more expensive than those with other hair color.b Satan is often portrayed as a redhead most likely because red was viewed as the color of sexual desire and moral degradation.i In 1995, Professor Jonathan Reese discovered that mutations of the gene MC1R on chromosome 16 were responsible for red hair (known as the “ginger gene”). The gene mutation responsible for red hair in humans probably arose 20,000-40,000 years ago.i According to a Clairol Color Attitude survey, 71% of redheads think that the word “bold” describes them, which is 24 points ahead of blonds.e While 49% of those polled in a Clairol Color Attitude survey think blonds are naïve, only 15% thought redheads were.e Some scholars postulate that the same gene mutation that causes red hair also affects the way redheads respond to pain and anesthetics.a In Egypt, redheads were buried alive as sacrifices to the god Osiris.i Scientists now report that Neanderthals had a version of the gene that causes red hair but not the same variant as in modern humans, suggesting they did not interbreed with each other.h There is a common perception that redheads could become extinct in 100 years. However, a National Geographic article states that while redheads may decline, barring a catastrophe, the gene for red hair will not likely become extinct.b The gene that causes red hair initially had the benefit of increasing the body’s ability to make vitamin D, which was important for people living farther away from the equator. However, today’s redheads are more likely to develop skin cancer and premature wrinkles.cWhile Scotland has the highest proportion (13%) of redheads (followed by Ireland with 10%), the United States has the largest population of redheads in the world, with between 6-18 million redheads, or 2-6% of the population.b Red hair is a mutation of the MC1R gene on chromosome 16. The mutation blocks the production of eumelanin (dark brown and black pigment), which causes a buildup of the phaeomelanin (red and blond pigments). Some scientists believe that higher levels of phaeomelanin may produce more mutations and dangerous effects when exposed to UV radiation.b In Michelangelo’s Temptation and in St. Paul's Cathedral, Eve is initially depicted as having brown and blond hair, respectively. But in both artistic renditions, after she eats the apple and she and Adam are driven from the Garden of Eden, Eve is depicted as a redhead.i Ruadh gu brath is Gaelic for “Red heads forever!”b “Gingerphobia” is a fear of redheads. “Gingerism” is the bullying or prejudice of redheads.i Some common surnames in the British Isles reflect the frequency of red hair there, including Flanary (“red eyebrow”), Reid (“red-haired, ruddy complexion”), and Flynn (“bright red”).