This is me with a good book....Hope you're all still out there, and I hope you've got a good book to keep you company!

A Re-Post from 2009, but it's that time again....worth a re-share!

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2009

Oh, Great....now I'm cursed!!

Yep, while doing a little online research to the mythical folklore of Friday the 13th, I finally realized why i have such atrocious luck....and as it turns out...I'm cursed.

LEGEND HAS IT: If 13 people sit down to dinner together, one will die within the year. The Turks so disliked the number 13 that it was practically expunged from their vocabulary (Brewer, 1894). Many cities do not have a 13th Street or a 13th Avenue. Many buildings don't have a 13th floor. If you have 13 letters in your name, you will have the devil's luck (Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, Theodore Bundy and Albert De Salvo all have 13 letters in their names). There are 13 witches in a coven. (http://urbanlegends.about.com)

So my name...Heather O*****, guess how many letters that has...yeah, go ahead and count em...THIRTEEN!

So I join in the ranks of Charles Manson, Theodore Bundy Alber De Salvo....Jeffrey Dahmer!!! C'mon, damnit, i don't want to be lumped in with those psychos!

Although, if ever i was looking for an explanation for my series of unfortunate events in my life....I suppose I have discovered a scapegoat. A reason for my misfortune. And I'm going to kick my mom's butt for this....any expectant mothers out there....take note, don't give your daughter the luck of the devil....do the math, check your numbers and check them twice...it just may determine if your child is naughty or nice...as i clearly was very naughty growing up!

WAIT! HOLD THE PHONE.....upon further research...maybe I'm wrong....I just did a little more research and look at what it says:

"Devil's Luck"(The): Astounding good luck. Persons always lucky were thought at one time to have compounded with the Devil.

“You won't have to pay his annuity very long; you have the Devil's luck in bargains, always.” -
Dickens.

But would we say Charlie Manson was lucky? Or Jeffrey Dahmer..I mean that dude was beat to death in prison....*scratches head*... So which is it, am I lucky or predetermined to be a serial killer? All these superstitions are conflicting.

Oh, and listen to this...I found this story highly entertaining:

LEGEND HAS IT: Never change your bed on Friday; it will bring bad dreams. Don't start a trip on Friday or you will have misfortune. If you cut your nails on Friday, you cut them for sorrow. Ships that set sail on a Friday will have bad luck – as in the tale of H.M.S. Friday ... One hundred years ago, the British government sought to quell once and for all the widespread superstition among seamen that setting sail on Fridays was unlucky. A special ship was commissioned, named "H.M.S. Friday." They laid her keel on a Friday, launched her on a Friday, selected her crew on a Friday and hired a man named Jim Friday to be her captain. To top it off, H.M.S. Friday embarked on her maiden voyage on a Friday, and was never seen or heard from again.

Hence why you don't mess with things you don't understand. If I've got the devil's luck, well then I got it....now....it's up to me to use to for good instead of evil, and hope like hell I don't piss the devil off in the process.

Happy Friday the 13th all! Strap on your crash helmet, wear your seat belt and throw some salt over your shoulder for good measure! I have to still work at EP tonight....which is comparable to the depths of hell on ALL Friday nights, so I can only imagine the demonry that awaits me tonight!

Wish me Luck,

~hl~

The Big Time!

This weekend I had my first book signing after the release of my most recent novel's publication.  It was at Hearth and Home in Van Wert, which for those of you who are not familiar, is an assisted living facility.  Very nice place, and the people there were so friendly and fun, I can't thank them enough for having me out for their event.

Senior Citizens are so much fun, I can't tell you how many times they made me smile, Like for instance when two ladies got tangled up in front of my table one with a walker, another with an electric scooter, they both laughed and were so funny about it!

Then the other lady who cruised past me, and said "I BUY MY BOOKS FROM THE LIBRARY" and then just kept on walking as I hollered out..."me too!" to her...she was sassy!

And let us not forget the wonderful resident of H&H who told us the story about reading 50 Shades of Grey OUT LOUD to the other residents during story time!!  Talk about pure amusement for me and Mike (my right hand man at book signings)....

I joke with people and say "You know you've made it big when you're doing the Assisted Living / Nursing Home Circuit" but you know, if this is the only circuit I'm ever a part of, I'll always be ever so thankful for the ride!

Special Thank you to Stacy Klint & Lisa Stemen!

Next Stop:  PUTNAM COUNTY!!!

Some Hard Humor

So, Jerimy and I have been crazy busy this summer, working on our houses with the slight possibility that we might be buying a house together, IF it ever comes up for sale.  So Jerimy has been feverishly working like a madman on getting all his projects done at his house.  He's been drywalling, putting flooring in, painting, plastering, cutting and hanging trim....and he says to me yesterday:  "you know, the more of this stuff I do, the easier it gets."

And I said to him "Yeah, that's because you're getting good at it!"

And he said:  "I don't know about good, but I kinda know what I'm doing now"

end of conversation.

Right now you're thinking to yourself, that's it?  that's your funny story?  No, there's more.

So I go back to watching DVR'ed "The Following"....final 4 episodes of season 1, and he goes back to patching a hole in the drywall in the hallway.  A little while later, I need to let my pup George out to go potty, I walk from the living room to the kitchen, passing the hallway when I saw something out of the corner of my eye...that had me stopping dead in my tracks and throwing it in reverse to see if I saw what I thought I saw.

I took four steps backward, looked to my left, down the hallway to see Jerimy standing on a chair, both hands working on something at head level, and I couldn't help myself, I had to get closer, because what I saw in that hallway made my eyes get very wide.  I was in shock as I approached him and saw that my eyes were not deceiving me.  There was a gigantic protrusion sticking out the front of his shorts.  With wide eyed wonder, I walked up to him until the bulge was looking me right in the eye and I reached out and touched it.  It was hard, and un-moving under his shorts' fabric.  It looked like he had a ginormous hard on!  Upon touching it, I looked wide up at him and said, Oh MY GOD!!  And I started to dye laughing.  Because upon me groping his groin, and finding that he was holding an cordless drill between his legs while he tried starting a screw on the piece he was patching in he looked down to see why I was feeling up his drill.

I laughed and laughed and said, "Oh, my!  I thought you had a huge boner!!"  

He looked at me and said:  "You didn't see the drill?"

I said "No, honestly from where I'm standing, it looks like you LOVE drywall work far more than any man in the history of guys who do drywall!  I honestly didn't know home improvement was such a turn on for you!?!?"

He then smiled at me and said, "You are such a geek!"

And it is images like THIS of yesterday's events that keep me smiling all day.

Never a dull moment on Clime Street with Jerimy and I....

Nope.  There sure isn't.

"Is that a cordless drill between your legs, or are you just happy to see me?"

Luv,

~Heather Lynn~

"The Ordeal"

Is finally heeeeeeeere!

or "there"....depending where you are! ;)

So my second novel "The Ordeal" was officially published last week, and the excitement and total torture of waiting to hear if it's a hit or a flop has begun.  I am absolutely dying for someone to say "Hey, Heather, I read it and it doesn't suck!"  I have serious jitters about this book just like the first because, well, if everyone hated "Dead in a Ditch" then I would be like....I'll write another, and it will be better!  So when everyone loved "Dead in a Ditch" instead of hating it, well, that's a tough act to follow.  Especially since "The Ordeal" is my favorite book that I've written.

It was so much fun, and I just loved developing the characters, and being able to add some humor into things.  Dead in a Ditch was just so "intense", so with the Ordeal, I wanted to give you a little more to "enjoy" instead of holding you hostage, UNABLE to stop reading.  So if you're looking to be held hostage, wellllllll....be forewarned, "The Ordeal" is longer, it's a little slower paced, but I did that on purpose, I wanted people to be able to read it for more than ONE day like all you crazy beautiful wonderful people who read it cover to cover and then yelled at me for keeping them up all night long on a work-night!

"Dead in a Ditch" was a fun, face paced book, and "The Ordeal" slows down, gives you more meat, more time to read in a leisurely fashion.  So if you need to put the book down to talk to your husband...you can.  If you need to feed or bathe your children, you can do that too.  If you want to take it on vacation, this one should hopefully last you more than Day #1 of your trip!

I placed my first order, which should be arriving by this Friday, I have upwards of 90 pre-orders for copies, and two book signings coming up with one of them being a "Speaking gig", so I'm so nervous!  I'm so NOT a public speaker!

To you who have ordered a book in my pre-order group, I am anxiously anticipating getting your books to you!  To those of you who have downloaded the e-book, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, I hope you're enjoying it!

Writing is an adventure I take you on when I write a story and you read it,

but you all take ME on an adventure by reading my novels and coming along with me on this exciting journey of being a writer.

For that, I can never thank you enough!

xooxoxoxo

~Heather Lynn~

Funny Story from Yesterday:

{WARNING:  DUE TO THE CONTENT AND USE OF SOME OFF-COLOR LANGUAGE IN THIS STORY, PLEASE BE AWARE YOU MIGHT FIND IT VULGAR / OFFENSIVE / OR GRANDMA, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, YOU MIGHT BE SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED AT WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY....SO READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION}

Yesterday I came home from work, threw myself in my big red chaise lounge chair in the living room and began to rummage through he mail, looking aimlessly at the junk that I get in my mailbox day in and day out.

My mom was on the couch, it was hot and humid, and I was exhausted from work, yet looking forward to my dinner date with my cousin Rachel to catch up since we hadn't seen much of each other lately.

So while I waited for the time to pass until she picked me up, I lounged and gabbed to my mother some, pretty typical after work activity.

Jerimy and I have been looking at buying a house together, and I'd left my name and number with some loan officers while researching where we wanted to get our loan through, so when my phone rang, and I saw that it was a number I didn't know, I picked it up instead of letting it go to voicemail like I would normally do when I don't know a number that calls me.  Apparently I'm shady like that! *laughs*

So, I answer the call and say "Hello"...

I hear a man's voice on the other end of the line...."Is this Heather?"

"yes it is"

"Do you have big tits?"  The man on the telephone asked me.

my mouth dropped open, my eyes got wide and I for a moment was speechless....finally after I caught my breath, I said "Who wants to know?!?"

Then the man said "Well, I'm standing here at the Rimer Quarry, on the bridge and it says here "Heather's got big Tits, DDS" on a label stuck to the side of the guard rail.  So I thought to myself, I only know one Heather with big tits, so I figured it had to be you!

By this time, the voice was starting to sound familiar, and when he then laughed, I knew who it was, and just before I could say something back to him, he laughed heartily and said "This is Todd by the way, I don't know if you still have my number in your phone or not"....

I was laughing so hard by this point because, a couple weeks ago, while standing in my Cousin Nick's garage Jerimy, my better half was making a joke to Nick about how organized he was.  Hell he even had a label maker to label all his stuff.  Jerimy picked up the label maker, typed in "Heather has big Tits" and hit send.  The label spit out, but it had DDS behind it, so Jerimy again, typed in the same, and again, it spit out the statement followed by DDS.  We had a nice laugh, they talked about sticking the label actually TO me, and then it was forgotten about.

A couple days later, Jerimy and I were out scouting locations for the cover shoot we were doing the following day for "The Ordeal's" cover.  The location I had intended to use got ruined by construction equipment and I was scrambling to find a new location.  I took a chance, and decided that I wanted to try to find the Rimer Quarry, just have a look at what it had to offer, if anything.  I had an idea about a particular part in the book that perhaps the quarry might make a nice fit for.

Jerimy and I found it, road our bikes right onto the "great divide" bridge as I'm told it's called, and parked our bikes and took a look around.

I took some test shots with my camera, and then Jerimy and I just admired the view, the breeze coming out of the deep cavernous hole in the ground below us and then looked at all the graffiti on the bridge painted by many generations of teenage hoodlums and country cruisers just like Jerimy and I were once.

Then, out of nowhere, Jerimy pulls out the label he'd made at Nick's, and says, Lets stick this to the bridge!  Leave our mark!  I laughed, thinking, what the hell, I mean, it's not like anyone would ever know it was me, so I smiled at my wonderful man and said, "do it".  And he did.  As we drove away from the bridge headed back for Delphos, we left behind:

Never thinking for a second, anyone would ever know it was me!

All the Heather's in all the world and I have a label on a bridge and someone instantly knew it was me!

That's just crazy!

I asked Jerimy last night, "Honey, you didn't put my phone number on that label did you?!?"

So if you see this label, if it survived last night's storms, yes it's me!  and NO I'm not responsible for putting it there....

now Jerimy, well, his hands aren't exactly clean of this one!

HOT OFF THE PRESS - MARK YOUR CALENDARS TO COME SEE US! :)

Cover Shoot for Book #2 went well yesterday, What do you think?

Challenge....NO KIDDING!

So being that I work for the a government agency, we have a lot of kinda strange things, incentives, etc. that the government throw at us from time to time for incentives to be healthy, or to improve our life in some way.

For the past two years, I've signed up to join the walking challenge.  They send you a free pedometer, and each day you set out into the world to step your way to a healthier you....or if you're me, you try really hard and then feel like a failure because you're not anywhere near the 15,000 steps others are doing, but it's not easy getting that mobile when your job has you chained to a desk all day.  I suppose if I had a rolling kart to push with my computer on it while roaming the halls of my office, perhaps I might be competitive in the steps department, but I don't see that happening.

Anyway, so this year's pedometer was noticeably chincy (not sure if that's how you spell chinsy/chinsey/chinsi - no idea) compared to last year's pedometer, but I took it and clipped it to my belt anyway and started charting my daily steps.

Well this little bugger is sure to be the death of me....or so I thought until this morning.  First I dropped it from a seated position at my desk.....the little door that holds the battery in went flying off and the battery fell out and I lost all my precious steps I'd logged so far that day!  DAMNIT...I was off to a good start.

Then, at the grocery store, later that week, I was reaching for a salad at the deli, and CLANK, it fell off my waist band of my skirt and went skidding across the floor....the battery fell into a meat cooler, the battery door disappeared under a bread rack and there I was on the grocery store floor, on my hands and knees collecting the pieces of my little pedometer.  It was embarrassing to say the least.

THEN, oh my god, THEN there was the bathroom debacle.  EVERY SINGLE TIME I'd have to pee, I'd have to be super-duper careful to remove it from my clothing at least 3 feet from the toilet, so I wouldn't drop it in!  And ladies and gentlemen, you have no idea how many diving catches I'd made trying to keep that yellow little dude out of the toilet!  I'm not even kidding, I must of dove to catch it at least twice a day for weeks now.

So summary, I'm supposed to be walking, instead I find myself crawling....on bathroom floors in the ladies room, on icky grocery store floors while onlookers stare at my behind because it's all they can see as I'm bent over looking under bread racks....I've taped it together, I've super glued it....but alas, today was the final straw.

While exiting my vehicle in the parking lot this morning, it wiggled it's way free once again, this time crashing onto the blacktop and the screen gave way and the digital display went skewed.  Officially ending our journey, as walker and tracker.

Had good intentions to be a good employee this year, do be a contributing member of my State team's walking endeavors, but alas, I must retire early, and wish them well from the seated non-counting position here at my desk.

R.I.P.

"Lil Yellow Pedometer"

April 2013 - May 2013

In other news, I'm free, I'm free.....

Nobody's counting on me....

Nobody's monitoring my every move

I'm free to pee risk free!!

ehem,

my apologies, I'm not really sure where that little outburst came from.

*recomposes myself*

Good Day,

~hl~

Irony:

***********************************************

A few months back, I drove past a car lot and saw a very eye catching car.  Marine Blue and chromed out.  Oh, it was a flashy little vehicle, so I stopped to see it closer, which then lead to a test drive, which then lead to me asking Jerimy to come test drive it with me and man you should of seen his face when I showed him the vehicle.

My favorite color is blue, I'm attracted to it like a moth to a flame, and even though I wasn't necessarily in the market for a new car, I couldn't help but get a little excited about test driving it.

It was a five speed, just like I like, it was blue just like I liked, and as a Harley loving girl from way back, I can't resist chrome, no matter what it's on! *laughs*.....

Jerimy instantly started asking me if I was having a midlife crisis.  I was like, "WHAT?!?! WHO ME?!?!?!" and he was like "YEAH YOU!!"

I'm only 35 aren't I too young to have a midlife crisis?  I know girls mature faster than boys, but I don't think it applies to midlife crisis does it?

So anyway, we went for our test drive....it was fun, but after I brought it back to the lot, I was wavering on my wanting to buy a new car, especially after all the flack I was getting about having a midlife crisis....so long story short, I didn't end up buying it.

So the other day, I'm at Ray's Northland, picking up a salad from the Deli for lunch, when I see the car.  THE CAR.  Marine blue, the chrome once again shining in my direction, I could see the blue racy looking bucket seats, the 30 day tags from Tom Ahls, it was THE car, I was certain of it....and then I got to see who bought MY car...my midlife crisis car......

Ok, so this really isn't the guy, but the guy I saw, was just as old!

If that car was my mid-life crisis,

it was this guy's LATElife crisis!

I kinda want the car again now!

If he can have it, why can't I?

*winks*

[THIS ISN'T THE EXACT CAR, THE ONE I LOOKED AT HAD MORE CHROME, BUT THE OTHER FEATURES ARE ABOUT THE SAME]

Excuse me while I gush a little

Today is Jerimy and I's 3 year anniversary.  It's hard to believe it's been three years, but then at the same time, it's like I can't remember life before him either.  So like it's the fastest long time I've ever spent with anyone.

I hope you'll excuse me while I gush mushy love stuff today, but in my mind, anniversaries are such a special occasion, not because of presents, or giant romantic gestures, but because sharing your life with someone is the best and hardest thing to keep in balance.  It's not easy to be passionate and never stumble in how you express that passion.  It's not easy to tackle uncomfortable "issues" that arise in a relationship and still be crazy about the person the way you were before an argument, or a miss-communication.  But when you do, love them as much, and often times MORE after a relationship mishap, or miss-communication, well, then you know that you have a good thing, something that can endure all that life throws your way.

Relationships are like anything else, your job, your appearance, your parenting....if you slack off at your job, you can get fired, if you stop fixing yourself up, you can turn into a slob, if you stop parenting, your child can go off track and you may never get them back on track.....and with a significant other, you have to TRY at it every day.  You have to put in the effort if you want to keep things on a happy harmonious level.

One thing that I think couples seem to forget the longer they are together, is what they love about the other person....and that's one thing that I think is what's so unique and special about Jerimy to me is that I never stop thinking he's wonderful, even if he's being a brat, even if we're fighting, he's still amazing to me, I still think he's the most handsome, wonderful, fun, adorable, pain in the butt I've ever had the pleasure to kiss!  I LOVE his smile, I tell you that man can melt my heart when he flashes that thing at me.  His eyes are the rarest shade of gold/green/amber, I'd know those eyes anywhere.  I LOVE that he's strong enough to comfort me over the phone seconds after I'd been in a car crash, before the police even arrived, and he's gentle enough to kiss my forehead when I've had a bad day.  I love that he doesn't lie to me.  He's honest, even if it might hurt me, he doesn't lie to me.  I love that he is so handy and capable and just a natural problem solver.  If something's broke, he fixes it, if something's wrong, he's looking into figuring out a way to make it right.  I love that he shows up for me when I need him most, that he eats my sometimes questionable cooking, and that he allowed me not just into his life, but the life of his son, E, whom I've grown to love so very much over the last 3 1/2 years.  Jerimy hasn't just given me his love, he gave me a family.  And oh what a happy little unique family we are.  Complete with dogs, ferret, turtle, Harley's, mopeds, gourmet George Foreman grill cooking, yellow car and silver neon driving little family we are.

I truly look back at my life and I cannot really remember what life was like before I met Jerimy, I mean, I can if I try really hard, but mostly it just seems like it was a whole other life ago.  And when I think about my future, I cannot imagine a life without him.

So here's hoping our 3 years turns into 30, and then into 300....I'd settle for eternity.  Nothing less. *smiles*

If all goes well, we'll be riding Harley's in heaven together someday.

Yours in Love and Life,

~Heather Lynn~

With Respect to Generations that Came Before Us:

I like to consider myself the kind of girl who doesn't get too easily "annoyed", I like to try to keep my wits about me, keep calm and NOT let things get to me, but lately, there's been something that has really pushed me over the edge....

IT ALL STARTED the other night while watching the UFC fights with Jerimy.  Which any of you who have watched UFC fights know that the commercials and advertising are all geared toward men....their most obvious audience.  Well, there was a particular Energy drink company that was one of the major sponsors of  these fights and they must of played their commercial 100 times during the course of the evening.  But that's not what drives me insane....not seeing the same commercial 100 times, it's what the commercial said that literally makes me CRINGE!

Now before I tell you WHAT was said, I want to explain WHY what was said annoys me so much.  Have you guys ever seen the movie "Idiocracy"?  if not, here's the premise of the movie:

Luke Wilson takes part in an experiment where he's frozen and wakes up 500 years later into a world populated by dumb people.  The theory being that as our world turns, our population is breeding "intelligence" out and dumb people eventually will be the only ones left inhabiting the earth.

So when Luke Wilson arrives on the scene, he's deemed the smartest person alive.  It's not the premise of the movie that bothers me so much as the idea that it might hold some truth that has me up in arms.

You see, in the movie, they stopped drinking water and only drank this Gatorade substance, water was only used in toilets.  Everyone spoke this strange dummed down version of English, people's names were product endorsements and everyone was so stupid it didn't occur to them to mind.

Here, watch this:

ok, now that you've watched that, watch this:

Is it just me, or is there a striking resemblance between the two videos?

I'm sorry, but every single time I hear "it's got electrolytes", I CRINGE!

We got tired of saying "how are you" so we changed it to "sup"?  Really?

It's ok that we say "sup" but should we be proud of it?

I get that it's supposed to be ironic, I get that it's a gimmick and not to be taken seriously, and the commercial does, what it's supposed to, get people talking about a product, which is exactly what I'm doing right now, but man, every time I hear "it's got electrolytes", it's like nails on a chalkboard and it makes me worried, that Idiocracy was on to something.

Think about how people used to speak, with very proper English, everything was formal including people's clothing.  Now fast forward to the present....we're saying 'sup' and wearing pants BELOW our butts and sometimes never get dressed at all, just wear our Pajama's everywhere.  Our Ancestors are probably rolling over in their graves at the way we've allowed our society to slide into such a state of indifference.

I believe in individualism, I believe in self expression, I believe in humans being human and experimenting and creating, evolving....but what happens when our society has no standards, no cares, nothing to strive for, nothing to live up to, and nobody to change the trend?

This concerns me.  Where are we headed?

Not trying to be preachy or anything, I don't think I'm smarter than anyone, I don't think I'm better than anyone, I just think there's a lot to be said about where we come from, and I think we owe it to ourselves to keep standards high, to preserve the English Language, to show more respect in how we dress and how we speak, and for the LOVE OF GOD, STOP SAYING 

"IT"S GOT ELECTROLYTES!!!"

Please and Thank you,

Sincerely,

Yours Truly,

~HeatherLynn~

If you haven't watched Idiocracy, I recommend that you do.  If for no other reason than to write to me and tell me I'm wrong and we could never turn into a world of idiots. :)

When you have a dog....

It kinda changes things...it adds a certain something that, well, you have to be a "dog person" to relate I think.

For instance, yesterday morning while in my break room at work, making myself a delicious egg/Velveeta cheese/english whole grain muffin for breakfast out of the microwave (my daily morning breakfast) my co-worker "L" comes cruising past on her way to her office, she see's me, I say "Good Morning L", she smiles and says "OH, GOOD YOU'RE HERE!  I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU!" I'm like "A present!?!?  Ohh, Oohhh...I love presents!" with a big ole smile on my face...because seriously, who doesn't like presents?  Right?

She goes to her office comes out and hands me a little sandwich bag with a stick in it.  I look at it, I look at her, and I say "Um, thanks....What is it!?"  L then says "it's a bullystick for your puppy!"  I smile graciously and say, "What's a bullystick?"  and she said, it's a "Bull Penis, dog's love em!"

Hmmmmm....wow, I've got to tell you, in all my years of growing up at Woods and Waters, being around animals, doing and seeing it all, I can honestly say that nobody had ever given me a bull penis before...bull shit, I've got, but bull penis...well folks, this was a first for me.

Thanks "L" for giving me such a unique offering, and I've got to tell you, my dog DID love the danged thing, however, I felt very strange about giving my little Georgey a penis to chew on....out of fear that this would give him the idea that penis's are for chewing on.  I can just imagine George, sniffing around in the night in bed with Jerimy and I, and all the sudden...*CHOMP*....poor Jerimy.  I'm going to be watching him, if he starts giving Jerimy weird looks, I'm pulling the plug on the bullystick trend!  I love my dog, but I love Jerimy more!

Is it just me, or has puppy chew toys started to resemble recycled sex toys?

This one looks like it should say "ribbed for her pleasure"

It has been brought to my attention.....

...that I have not written anything here in a month.  

Breanne, my apologies! *smiles*

Lets see, what shall I write about...

Well, for starters, I guess I'll tell you the reason I haven't been writing:

His name is 

George:

and I love him!

Since I laid eyes on him I said, I will love him and I will call him George!

And that my friends is my true life story of love at first sight.

I don't know what it is about me, but there's just something that clicks with me when I lay my eyes on something I love....Just like when I RE-met Jerimy 3+ years ago, I saw him and BAM!  I was done, I KNEW in that instant that I was "all in"....that there wasn't going to be any changing my mind about it.  And here we are years later and he's still hands down the love of my life.

Now, fast forward to 3 weeks ago.

I'd been perusing these facebook "Pet sites"....rehoming, strays found, kind of sites and I'd look at the dogs and I'd get all yearning for a puppy...but I don't know if ya'll know this, but PUPPIES, WHILE ADORABLE are OH SO MUCH WORK!!!

Quite frankly, I have no idea how you people raise children, I mean, I have a hard time putting my shoes on at 4:00 a.m. to take George out to go potty...

Which makes me wonder, would people have kids if they had to take them outside and stand there in the rain and snow and cold and crappy Ohio weather WAITING and PRAYING TO GOD that they'd pee already!?!?

You parents, be sure to weigh in on this, because I only have two kids and they are both furry faced pooches!

Anyway...I'm getting sidetracked, 

So I decided awhile back that I just loved Boxers!

So many people I know have them, and they are just such great dogs

One of the first pictures i took when I was starting to get into photography was of a beautiful boxer named Maggie-Moo:

This was the first boxer I ever loved

I guess I was always destined to get one of my own.

But I will tell you this, I'm never going to get the "new book #3" written with him around, holy moses he keeps me hopping....

My life now consists of me running around non-stop saying things like:

"what are you...?  Don't chew on that!  Drop it!  No..no...no..no..no!"

"Who did this?"  "Good boooooy George"..."Baaaaaad Boy George!"

"CRAP, I just stepped in pee I think!"

"c'mon, lets go!"

"STOP DRINKING SO MUCH WATER, YOU'RE GOING TO PEE THE BED!"

*smiles*

And when I'm not saying these things and running around chasing after the most adorable puppy in the world, I'm wholeheartedly smiling.  I don't know what it is about ole George, but he just brings such joy to my life....even when he's a pain, even when he's naughty, he's my buddy.  And I LOVE that he loves Jerimy!  And Easton tries to steal him from me to snuggle with.

Now if I can just get him potty trained, he'll be a great addition to the family!

Ok, so now that you've met George, and you know that I'm totally slacking on my writing, you know who to blame:

But seriously, look at that face,

Can you really blame the little guy

or ME for that matter for falling smitten?

Who can resist this face?

I sure can't!

~HeatherLynn~

The Battle Continues:

So to follow up with you on the "other story" about my battle against my recent outbreak of hair loss ...I bring to you....Tales from the Hair file:

Ok, so you already know I drank powdered ground cinnamon to try to alleviate some of these possible thyroid dysfunction symptoms I'm having....well, I didn't stop there...I went further in my quest.

Four to five Walmart aisles over from the cinnamon capsules I purchased, you will find the "ethnic hair section" of your local Walmart.

I frequent this section because they have plastic hair caps, like six for 99 cents in that section, and those things are awesome to have if you dye your hair, keeps the smell of hair dye from getting in your face, burning your eyes and stinking up the joint.  So I pop over there and what to my wondering eyes should appear...but a wonderful assortment of hair loss stopping for me to on my scalp smear!

They had this one:  

And this one:   

among others.....but I didn't care, I was willing to try anything.

My hair's my thing...I can't just go bald quietly,

so I did what any girl would do, I scooped some of this goop into my cart, and set out to try out Africa's best, and Doo Gro.

I went home that night....and decided to try Doo Gro first.  It was more expensive, there'fore it MUST work better right?  I used the same logic as "they can't put anything on the internet that's not true" and away I went, smearing this Vaseline meets Vicks Vapo Rub type product all over my scalp.  It smelled funny, and it was blue, but I didn't care, I needed to save my Doo!

The instructions said just put on before bed...

and wake up tomorrow with a glorious head....of hair.

Just style and go

the instructions sang out

I scurried to bed in hopes that new hairs would sprout.

Eight hours later ....to what did my wondering eyes did appear

the image of myself in my dresser mirror...

Well, what do you think?!  Do I look awesome or what?!?!

It's going to be all the rage, I just know this style is going to catch on!

*winks*

But I will tell you this....the next day in the shower, much much less hair fell out!

So I've been doing the doo ever since.

Just can't be seen in the mornings by live humans until after a shower....I look a little crazy.

That's my story, 

and I'm sticking too it.

Wish me luck at my Thyroid Scan today at St. Rita's.

I need answers...not Cancer..

so keep your fingers crossed.

Luv,

~HeatherLynn~

Note to self:

THESE

+

IN THE FORM OF THIS:

+

USING THESE

TO CLEAN OFF YOUR FACE

=

DISASTER

A.K.A.

HAVING TISSUE STUCK TO YOUR LIPS

AND UNABLE TO GET IT OFF

WHILE SITTING AT YOUR DESK

AT THE FRONT WINDOW

HOPING AND PRAYING LIKE MAD

THAT NO CLIENT / GENERAL PUBLIC TYPE PERSON WOULD HAPPEN TO RING THE BELL AND NEED MY ASSISTANCE

FOLLOWED BY HAVING TO GET A WET WIPE TO CLEAN FACE OFF.

MY PROFESSIONALISM KNOWS NO BOUNDS.

HOW I GOT THIS JOB I'LL NEVER KNOW.

:)

Disastrously yours,

~Heather Lynn~

I tell ya, if its not one thing, it's another....

So I hate going to the Dr.

Yes, I'm not a fan...as I suspect many of you aren't as well.  So I know you'll understand when I tell you that I have a really bad habit of "waiting out" a condition.  I basically have something come up..and then I wait to see if it goes away.  Standard Operating Procedure for an Osting...especially an Osting who grew up with never having health insurance.

The only Health Insurance we ever had was our Dad telling us if we get hurt, we better not come crying to him because he would NOT take us to the hospital...so whatever we broke, we better know how to fix ourselves, or learn to live without the function of that particular body part.  It was good advice, because I never broke a bone growing up.  I once was hit in the face by a door that was hit by a buffalo and knocked unconscious and had a black eye and bloody nose when I woke up, so to say it was a miracle that's all that was wrong with me, is an understatement.  Buffalo are very temperamental creatures for those of you who are unfamiliar with the animal.  Anyhoo....

So my family has a really really extensive history of "thyroid problems".  Which sucks, and I've had mine tested several times, one time it came back bad, the next two times, it came back fine.  However, I have nearly EVERY SINGLE symptom of hypothyroidism.  No kidding...like every single danged one of those suckers...well, except for low sex drive....but I think that particular symptom is counteracted by the fact that I'm an "Osting" and due to some research on the subject, I apparently come from a long ling of sex maniacs! Some people look up their family trees and find out that they immigrated from Ireland, or that they come from a long line of Blacksmiths or something cool like that..."I" on the other hand come from a long line of hotblooded red haired sex maniacs.  Awesome right?....but again, I digress....

The point I'm trying to make...is that due to my family history of Hypothyroidism, and the fact that I have all the symptoms, I've been trying to get to the bottom of my symptoms, and have been yet to do so.

My former Endocrinologist disappeared for awhile...and there was rumor that he went to India, and never came back..then I heard he was run out of his practice, then I heard he was "missing"....I don't know the truth on the matter, but I heard he's alive and no longer practicing in Lima.  Soooooo...I never followed up with him for my follow-up appointment last year due to all of the craziness surrounding his whereabouts.  My symptoms were tolerable at that time, so I didn't want to make a fuss.  Now....flash forward to the last three months....

I'd been noticing that my hair was falling out in large amounts when I took a shower....I mean, I'd clog the drain about 3 times in a matter of minutes....it was ridiculous.  Yet, I thought...It'll go away....Perhaps I'm just shedding my "winter coat" like a dog, or a horse or something....

yeah....that's not really the case I'm guessing.  So finally i made an appointment to go back to the Dr.  This morning at 7:00 a.m.  But in the meantime, while I was waiting for my appointment, I played Dr. and took matters into my own hands...and this my friends is where the funny happens.  I should never be left to my own devices....

First I decided to try some herbal remedies:  So after some research I found that honey and cinnamon were a great combination to take for all kinds of ailments...so I bought honey from a local bee farmer, I bought some ground cinnamon and was excited to start my new regimen of herbs and honey.  THEN....I found that Coconut Oil ALSO does amazing things for hair, and skin and nails, and weight loss.....it's like a miracle food.....according to the internet...and we all know "they can't put anything on the internet that isn't true"....french models aside... *winks*

So Then I read that Green Tea is good for you...so I got some green tea and decided to start drinking that.  Oh, I was so excited for my new healthy supplements.  That's when I got the brilliant idea to combine all of them together!  A nice coconut oil, cinnamon  honey green tea cup of awesomeness.  I heated the water, I steeped the tea bag, I spooned in the honey, melted the coconut oil, and last but certainly not least, I measured out a tablespoon of ground cinnamon, and put it into the hot steamy liquid.

I stirred it all together.....and I stirred, and I stirred.....and stirred some more....but the danged cinnamon wouldn't dissolve.  I stirred and stirred until my arm was tired and then I asked my mom "What the hell's a'matter with this danged cinnamon?  It won't mix into my tea!"  My mom who's engrossed in a television program just shrugs her shoulders and says "you should of mixed it in the honey, and then you wouldn't even taste it"....

"Well I already put it in my tea, it's too late for that....I don't want to waste it!  This stuff wasn't cheap!"

So I decide to drink it....with a half of an inch of powdered cinnamon on top....and some good ole Coconut oil laying just beneath it.  "here goes nothing" I say as I bring the coffee mug to my lips.

{INSERT COUGHING, GASPING, SNORTING, CHOKING, BITTER BEER FACE HERE}

It was horrible....I mean, OMG, horrible.  My mom starts laughing at me....as I'm nearly dying ....

"What's the matter"....she asks

I say between breaths and gulps of horribleness "The Cinnamon...it's sooooo horrible!?!?"

I open my mouth and there's cinnamon everywhere, under my tongue, in between every one of my teeth, it's in my nasal passage, cinnamon powder was coming out my nose....it was terrible!

My mom then says to me "Well don't drink it then!"

I wince in pure cinnamon hell and say "I can't waste it, I've come this far....I'm going to finish it!"  And finish it I did, but it was easily one of the worst drinking experiences I've ever been part of.  So please don't do what I did...I'll let you in on a little secret, they sell cinnamon in capsules, and you can just swallow those down easy-peasy!  So please kids, don't make the same mistakes I have....cinnamon coming out of your orifices is unpleasant to say the least!

And this is the FIRST story of two crazy home remedies I tried this weekend....I'll tell you the next one perhaps tomorrow!

Keep your noses clean,
Until tomorrow,
~Heather Lynn~