Too Short.....LIFE IS.....Too short!

Many of you know....some of you might not know yet, but my Uncle Dan was killed in a tragic house fire Thursday night/Friday morning.  And I could tell you the tragic story, I could tell you how horrific it was as we stood there, watching them carry his body out of the home after the flames were put out.  The tears that were cried, the grief we've felt....but right now I don't want to do that.  I want to tell you a story about my uncle that is one of my favorites!

Growing up on an exotic animal farm we had a couple hay fields that we would use to feed our menagerie of animals.....so as a kid, summers were often spent bailing hay, raking hay, putting hay into the hay mound...you get the picture.

Well, one of our hay fields was right next to my Uncle Dan's house.  My dad wanted me to go and rake the hay, so I rode my bike down there, parked it at my Uncle's and then got on the tractor that my dad had parked down there and I went about my business raking the hay.

While on a tractor, before ipods, and when you were too poor to own a "walkman"....you would find ways to entertain yourself.  One of the main ways of doing that was singing.  I like to sing.  And my older sister Angie (who we all know was a really bad influence on me) had recently introduced me to "Too Short", more specifically his 1989 hit, "Don't fight the feeling"....which is pretty much THE most vulgar, downright crude rap song I ever liked.  I'm not going to lie, I still kinda like this song.  The girl parts in this song are so entertaining....anyway, back to the story, so there I was singing my lungs out, driving the tractor, raking the hay, and I was completely in my own little world.  When I'd thoroughly finished raking, i parked the tractor, hopped down and headed for my bicycle.

Uncle Dan emerged from his garage where he'd been working on something, and called over to me, "Hey you, come here for a second"....and of course, I minded my elders and I walked over to him to see what he wanted.  Dan was very gruff, and when Dan said "Hey come here a second"....you would be about as scared as you would be curious about what you had done to warrant a talking to.

He looks me up and down with this look on his face I couldn't quite pin point and he says "What's a guy gotta do to get a channel change", confused I said "What?"  and he says, Well i was listening to you sing out there and I was wondering how I go about getting a channel change.  Didn't much care for that last one you sang."

I immediately was MORTIFIED as I recalled what song I was singing last.  TOO SHORT....Me, Jr. high schooler, white girl with NO rapping skills, a ginger to boot....and my Uncle heard every word?!?!??!  EVERY VULGAR CURSE/Word!

"You heard me?"

"Yes"

my cheeks blazed red, my heart was beating fast, my mouth dry....I couldn't find the words to try and explain my song choice.....or my filthy curse filled mouth.  Was he going to tell on me, rat me out to my dad, was an ass beating in my near future???  So many questions ran through my mind!

He just smiled and said, "Maybe something country next time....easy listening?....not a big fan of...what do you call that crap?  ....Rap??"  He turned around without saying another word and walked away to his garage.  I jumped on my banana seat huffy bike and tore outta there as fast as my legs could pedal.

Uncle Dan was a man of few words MOST of the time, and then every once in a great while, you'd catch him in a chatty mood and he'd talk your ear off! lol

Not too long ago, I came out to visit him, and he was watching some Clint Eastwood marathon on tv.  Not sure which movie it was, but I told him I'd never seen it, and then he began asking me things like "You've never seen this movie?  What were you, living under a rock your whole life, HOW have you never seen this?  I was like, "This movie came out before I was even born, how the hell should I know?!"  He liked to pick!  He liked to get a rise out of people he liked.  I'd like to think he liked me.  He was gruff, and rough around the edges, but he was soft and sweet when nobody was looking.

My Uncle Dan had THE SAME green terry cloth shorts he wore in the 70's...and sometimes you'd catch him in them (present day)....and you'd wonder how a garment could have that kind of lifespan.

After his 4-wheeler accident, he sat in his chair and watched CNN like it was his job, he was always "in the know" and would always ask:  "Did you see......[insert whatever the big news story was at the time]?  He was genuinely concerned for others, for our country, and about the world his grandkids would grow up in.

He was a private man, he never felt the need to fill silence with a bunch of chatter, and he once described croutons as a SENSELESS food.  He got offended by croutons, yet could listen to a pre-teen sing TOO SHORT at the top of her lungs and find it amusing!  He was really something.  I wish he were still with us.  I cry every time I think about him not being there, the hard times he's not going to give me anymore....

In closing, I'm going to leave you with the lyrics to "TOO SHORT" so you can truly appreciate what it must have been like for him to hear his 12 year old niece who normally would seem pretty sweet and mildly still innocent...spewing profanities and vulgarity!

This one's for you Uncle Snuggles!
I love you, I miss you and I'll never forget you!

1952 - 2017

{do not read below this line if you are easily offended by profanity and vulgarity! lol}
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Don't Fight The Feeling:

[Intro: Too Short]
Say ho
Yeah you
Can I ask you a question?
You like to fuck?
Oh, you don’t want me to talk to you like that?
Would you like to make love?

[Verse 1: Too $hort]
I saw you walking down the street, and I had to stop
Turn up the radio and drop the top
I see you look so good, and you’re so fine
Young tender, would you be mine
I get you in my car, drive you to my house
Cuz I’m a mack, I cold turn you out
I won't ask, and I sure won’t beg
Reach right over and rub your leg
I let my hand slide between your miniskirt
Slip a finger in your panties, straight go to work
What time is it? Don’t watch the clock
Lay back baby doll and I’ll rock the cock
Funky Fresh I am, and I always can, Freak Nasty
I’m the man
I take you out to the finest restaurant
Buy you any damn thing that you want
You want flowers? I’ll buy your ass a rose
But later on you’re coming off with them pantyhose
You want gold, girl what’s next
Its me and you, doing the sex
So now you know I’m just a freak
Give it up baby, I can’t wait two weeks
I want it all, Don’t say I won't
Get it girl, now I’m telling you don’t

[Verse 2: Entice and Barbie of The Danger Zone]
Nigga please, you provoke no feeling
You must of forgot, the girls of whom you're dealing
We haven't the urge, to get busy
Like those dizy lizys, who used to dance for you, your through
I can't put it more blunt, your vocab is restricted
You're addicted, to the words you inflicted
Time after time, line after line
Talking bout the bitches that are on your mind
Do they call you $hort because of your height or your width?
Diss me boy, I'll hang your balls from a cliff
Wrapped around a slinky, your a dinky
It's an easy task, to the corner cause the curb didn't want your ass
Your name is yuck mouth, you don't brush
Gotta cover your mouth like this
They call you yuck mouth
You refuse to brush, no sweetheart you can keep that kiss
Your a freak with no tale
You have no ass, class,you can't pass, your simply trash
Your a typical nigga, the kind you don't take home
This is Entyce and Barbie from the Danger Zone
Like a short dogg that carries fleas
You make my ass itch, twitch, don't you wish you could scratch it
And grab it like you want it
The name fits cause your all up on it...

[Verse 3: Too $hort]
Get mad if you want, I won't front
When it's time to hump, won't be no punk
Roll your ass over and tap the butt
Too $hort baby all in them guts
I'm not your ABC, from the alphabet
Every letter I'll write'll get your pussy wet
It's just a freaky note, from me to you
At the bottom I signed it Playboy II
I'm a player, bitch, I thought you knew
Like every other nigga in my crew
I bump hoes, now it's your turn
Tell me young tender when will you learn
I cold mack like pimps you know
Won't sell you dope or sell you blow
Just your average everyday straight bump up bitch
My gold rings come from spitz
Look baby, You know what I want
Your acting like it's that time of the month
Are you bleeding, can't think about sex
Irritated by your Kotex
We don't need to kiss, we don't have to fuck
I'll pull out my dick bitch, you can suck
Now here, don't say I won't
Get it girl, now I'm telling you don't...

When you don't know what else to do:

Been doing a lot of thinking lately about this whole debate on Narcan and the heroin epidemic that is currently plaguing Ohio and other parts of the country.  I've read the headlines about all the overdoses, dead bodies filling up our morgues, parents overdosing with young children in the car with them, I mean, it's like complete chaos all around us these days it seems.

I've heard people say, "Stop giving them Narcan, let them die and do the world a favor"....I've heard it said "They must WANT to die, why else are they doing it?"  Some people say addiction is a disease, others say it's nothing more than repetitive poor life choices....and the thing is, I don't know WHAT to believe.

Compound this kind of confusion with fear....the kind of fear that comes when two people in your small community are stabbed in their own home during a home invasion, and next thing you know you're shopping for home security systems, sleeping with a loaded gun next to your bed and you're somewhere between joining those who say let the junkies die, and those who say lock em all up and throw away the key.

Americans, from the inception of this country have the reputation to be a little rough and tumble so to speak.  We are known to be gun toting, government overthrowing, civil war inciting, pursuit of happiness kind of people.  At least that's how I understand it from the history I know of our country.  So I can see where people are coming from when they say things like, "let em die"....because it's really hard to have sympathy for someone who knows, that doing heroin in today's day and age is basically like playing Russian roulette with your life.  I mean, why do it?  And the answer is, only someone addicted to heroin can tell you the real answer to that....

Have I been mad about the epidemic that is plaguing us?  Yeah.  Have I been frustrated?  Yeah.  It's easy to become hardened and say things like...NO MORE NARCAN, let em go down.  Especially when you read news articles about ONE addict alone overdosing 20+ times and receiving Narcan so they can go on to overdose another day.  It's frustrating to see so many people IMPLODE the way they are, with seemingly no respect for human life.....NO RESPECT FOR THEIR OWN LIVES!  THINK ABOUT THAT, they have NO RESPECT FOR THEIR OWN LIFE.

But anytime I have had that hardened approach cross my mind/lips/heart, I stop in my tracks and immediately feel bad, I think about God and I think about how we aren't supposed to Judge others.  And I think about "What would Jesus Do" and I think to myself, would he ever say, "be still my child, and die because I don't think you should have narcan?"  I don't think he would.  Clearly people addicted and willing to die the way they are...they are hurt, broken, lost souls, wounded, hopeless, sad souls.  Souls looking for escape....from whatever it is that has them feeling so lost and wounded.  Is that an excuse, I don't think so.  I think it's just what it is.

Don't get me wrong, I HATE what this heroin/drug epidemic is doing to so many of my fellow Ohioans.  I hate that it's brought violent crime into our little community, and I pray that they find the person responsible for stabbing those two Delphos citizens who did NOT deserve to be victims of someone else's poor choices and/or drug addled behavior, but I personally cannot go out into the streets and start taking the drugs out of the hands of addicts.  I don't know any heroin dealers to go put out of business.  And that helplessness in times like these may be the most frustrating of all.  Watching the little town that you grew up in, turn into something you sometimes don't recognize as "home" because of what is happening here.

So I went in search of what God says about addiction in the bible.  And for those of you who are non-believers, or you're Jewish or Buddhist, or whatever your preference is in the way of religion, I do not pretend to be the authority on religion, that my way is the only way, or that my God is not your God, but here's what I found.  I found this prayer, and I think I'll start praying it.

Most loving God,

we ask your blessing upon all

who suffer from addiction.

Strengthen them to reach out for help.

Enable them to take the first step to recovery.

Bless them with the persistence to persevere

in the fight to be free.

Give courage and hope to their families,

drawing them close together

in the power of your love,

which alone can transform our living.

Amen.

Until there's something "I" can physically do to make the world a better place, to make Delphos safer, to make bad things NOT happen to good people, take the knife out of the hand of a home invader, or the needle out of a heroin addict's arm, I will say this prayer, and have faith that it's being heard.

If you feel like saying it too, please do.

No harm ever has come from praying for help.

Having Faith,

~HeatherLynn~

Thirteen Reason’s Why

I, like so many others, have binge watched “Thirteen Reasons Why” on Netflix.  I too have read the “controversy” articles on the internet about how it sets a bad example for our youth, some even say “romanticizing” suicide.  Didn't Romeo and Juliette already do that?

I thinking about the people on “the tapes” and who did what to whom, I think it paints a painstakingly portrayal of the life of a high school teen.  It sheds light on the various TYPES of bullying and/or struggles, from romantic advances, to petty jealousy, immature behavior, and other issues that teenagers will face in their high school careers.  If it’s not happening to them, trust me, they SEE it happening to others.  Maybe not the character Bryce’s rapey behavior as that usually occurs behind closed doors and NOT in a high school hallway, BUT, nonetheless, kids can be ruthless.

I could write here about bullying, I could write here about the fact that the character who played Tony looked like he was about 35 and from the 50's era and not at all like a high schooler, or about how every single kid in that school was tatted up like no high school I’ve ever seen, but I won’t.  What I will write today about is the ONE major thing that kept running through my head over and over while watching the show, and that’s that #1) I would have tore through those tapes from start to finish without pause.  I would have faked being sick the next day if listening all night wouldn’t have gotten it done.

Here’s the one thing I think that you don’t know when you’re young, and that’s that “THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE”.  I didn’t know it when I was a teenager.  I can think back on my younger years and all the elaborate lies I told to get out of getting into trouble.  The GREAT lengths I went to, to NOT be found out.  The secrets I had, the lies I told, the deception that happens between parent and child during our adolescent years….but what you don’t know is, is the wonderful feeling of the truth!  Now I’m not saying that as a young person you won’t lie to your parents.  I’m sure it’s going to happen.  But I will tell you this, when the shit REALLY hits the fan, when your world hangs in the balance of something big like what this show portrays, you have to TRUST your parents enough to know that the very best thing you can do, is go to them.  LET them help you.  I know I know, kids are so smart today, they can run ipads at a year old….they know how to do things on smart phones that adults have to google to find out how to do.  But one thing that you can ONLY get in time and through life’s experience, is maturity and wisdom.  Something most parents are chalk full of.

And let me tell you this, owning up to your mistakes, while sometimes mortifying, sometimes embarrassing, the feeling that owning up to them will give you, is unlike anything a lie will ever get you.  When you take responsibility for yourself, your actions, you grow.  You mature.  You LEARN that life has consequences that ARE NOT the end of the world.  They can be addressed, tackled head on and maybe even solved if you’re BRAVE enough to do the right thing in life’s difficult situations.

The thing that made me so sad, is that Hannah had parents that loved her, they could have helped her if they had known.  She never told them she was hurting, and as much as parents CAN be mind-readers, sadly, they aren’t always LOOKING for something to be wrong with their child.  There’s a reason that God made parents.  There’s a reason that children don’t fly the coop until they are older.  It’s because parents are there to protect, to teach, to love that child until they are fully equipped to go out into the world on their own.  Hannah Baker HAD good parents, parents that would have done whatever needed done to help her, but instead she took her own life, and reached out from her grave to hurt those who had hurt her.  After all they say that Revenge is a dish best served cold.  Clay had good parents too.  As we watch them struggle to understand WHAT the heck was going on with their child, we see how deeper and deeper into despair Clay descends.  In the end Clay begins to seek retribution for Hannah.  He wants justice done, after all, he loved Hannah.  But imagine if he hadn’t had to go through it alone.  Imagine him handing those tapes over to his mom and be like, Mom, what do I do?  Imagine if he had had his mom listen to those tapes and asked that question that he had asked Tony:  “Did I kill Hannah Baker”….Tony said yes, but his parents would have said no.  Handing those tapes over would have taken the burden off his shoulders, it would have alleviated the guilt, and the pressure of feeling like he HAD to do something.

Nearly EVERY single pitfall in Thirteen Reasons Why could have been completely different had there been better communication.  And that’s what I’m wanting so very much for people to understand like I do now.  Doing the right thing, can never be wrong.  You can have complete faith in “doing the right thing” because doing the right thing, is always the BEST thing to do.  It’s better to get into trouble for knocking down a stop sign, than to not report it and have someone’s death on your conscious for the rest of your life.  It’s better to lose your best friend because you stopped him from raping your girlfriend than to live with the guilt of knowing you ALLOWED it to happen…after all, who wants a rapist for a best friend?  Courtney had two gay dads, tell me she couldn’t have came out of the closet to them instead of destroying another human being like she did?  Tony from the get go, should have gave those tapes to Hannah’s parents.  They deserved to know their daughter, know why she did what she did, they deserved to have been told what was going on while she was still alive.  Sadly many of life’s challenged our young people are faced with DO NOT have SECOND CHANCES.  There are some bad decisions that you can never get back.

For all the 13 reasons why, there COULD have been a complete and distinct different outcome, had things been done even slightly differently.  If people would have communicated instead of insinuated.  If people would have been KIND in the face of being scared.  If younger people just KNEW the FREEDOM that comes from being honest.  To being accountable.  To being BRAVE in the face of situations that we sometimes find ourselves in.  Isn't it Ironic that we have more ways to communicate than ever before in history, yet we are really probably no better communicators than before?  We can speak in emoji's, but we can't talk to our parents when we're in trouble.  We can text, email, hire a plane to fly a banner behind it, yet we feel we can't say what we sometimes really need to say.

Kids need to know that they aren’t alone.  That whatever the case may be in ANY situation, that the punishment from your parents is better than the repercussions of whatever lie you might use to save your own ass.  I DO NOT discount the intelligence of today’s youth.  My beloved step son was talking to me last night about College Math and I was like, “dude it’s like you’re speaking in a different language.  I had NO IDEA what he was talking about.  He laughed and in that moment, he knew he was smarter at Math than me.  But he too knows that I’m no dummy.  He knows that I love him, and he knows that we know he’s not perfect.  He’s made mistakes.  He’s made some very bad decisions in his young life, we found out, he was punished, he faced consequences I wish he had never had to face, but he’s a better person for it, I can tell you that.  I am so proud of the person he’s becoming.  I see such potential in him and I’m not going to lie, I get all misty eyed when I think about how far he’s come and all the struggles he’s overcome!  It has been such a great pleasure to be his step-momma…I cannot even begin to tell you in words JUST how wonderful of a gift it has been.

So when I think about Hannah, ending her life, before it ever had a real chance to even begin….I think about that dark haired boy who I’ve loved and watched grow into such an amazing young man and I cannot imagine a world where he didn’t exist anymore.

Life is short.  Death is forever.  Whatever pain that comes with today, can always be replaced with an unexpected joy tomorrow. You just have to be brave enough to stick around for it.

~HeatherLynn~

WARNING SIGNS!!

One thing I know all too well, is that it's not just bad people who make bad decisions, Good people make bad decisions all the time too.

A split second bad decision can ruin your entire life! I wish so badly that everyone could stop and take a second to THINK about the consequences of those bad decisions before they make them. Think about how it affects them, their families, their communities.

Texting and driving...you could accidentally take someone's life with your car. Be in the wrong place at the wrong time, next thing you know you have a criminal record and cannot get certain jobs when you grow up. One hit of heroin, and you could be dead/addicted. Throw some eggs at some cars with your buddies, next thing you know you can't get your license til you're 18 and you have a criminal mischief, criminal damaging on your record and are court ordered to pay restitution to the victims of your night of fun that you thought was just kids being kids. We don't live in world where kids are just kids anymore. We live in world where kids shoot up movie theaters and their schools and college campuses. We live in world where more people than ever feel like they need to carry concealed weapons to protect themselves. We live in a world where some counties have to bring in refrigerated trucks, to house the bodies of overdose victims because the morgue has no vacancies!

Just ONE risk, ONE decision, that it takes you ONE second to make....and it can alter the entire course of EVERYTHING. There is no UNDO button in life, there's no do-overs, there's no get out of jail free card. It affects us all, the mistakes, the decisions, the senseless acts, lives lost needlessly, foolish behavior that could have been avoided.

SAVE A LIFE, LOOK TWICE FOR BIKES, DON'T TEXT AND DRIVE, JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS, DON'T FEED THE ALLIGATORS, NO SWIMMING, SLIPPERY WHEN WET, CAUTION, STOP, YIELD, THOU SHALL NOT KILL, LIE, CHEAT, COVET, DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD WANT THEM TO DO UNTO YOU, TELL THE TRUTH THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH, NEVER HIT A WOMAN, DRIVE SLOW, CHILDREN AT PLAY, USE A CONDOM, MAY CAUSE CANCER, NOT FOR INTERNAL USE, NO TRESPASSING, SHOPLIFTERS WILL BE PROSECUTED .....The warnings are everywhere, what's it going to take for people to listen?

Feeling worried and sad for people around me that I know are hurting and going through some tough times. Those who have lost someone to an overdose, to those who've lost their freedom and their futures to crime, those who's futures have been forever altered because this ONE time, they said to hell with it and rolled those fateful dice.

Young people especially, I know you think your parents are nags and totally uncool, but heed their warnings, because they KNOW just how quickly youthful inexperience can turn into a life altering situation.

~HeatherLynn~

Valentines Day Purple Rain

So I'm really loving my XM radio free trial in my new car....lately I've been obsessed with the Garth Channel.  First of all, I have, do and always will love that damned Garth Brooks, he is just one of the coolest, isn't he?  Those of you who've seen him in concert, who grew up on him, who know just how electrifying he is....those of you who don't, I recommend you go see a show, even if you don't love country music, you can still love Garth Brooks.

Anyway, on "The Garth Channel", you don't just get to listen to Garth's music, but you get to listen to songs Garth likes.  Which is kind of all sorts of awesome to me, to know what songs HE himself likes.  Well this morning, he said that the word "Genius" in the music industry is thrown around too often for his taste, he said in his eyes, Sir Paul, Dillon, and Prince.

And then he played "Purple Rain", and in the middle of my morning commute, on Valentines day, while in fine spirits, Prince sang me into tears.  The sun was shining, it's Valentines day, I was chipper for morning (I'm not a morning person)...but with the guitar intro nearly alone, Prince made Purple Rain, and I could no longer feel the sun.

I haven't been through a break up in a long time, Being married to my favorite person in the world has me hoping to NEVER have that feeling again, but this morning, on THIS particular morning, I felt that twinge in my stomach that only a broken heart can cause.  That feeling of despair, longing, hurt, being all alone, guilt, self loathing and  regret all rolled into one!

There are a few bands/musicians that in our lifetimes I think we develop some sort of kindred-ness with.  For me, it's always been Aerosmith, The Eagles, Prince, and Kid Rock.  (strange list, but what can I say, they are my soul-music-mates.)

With Prince's death this past year, he's left an empty spot where a living breathing legend once was, and as corny as it sounds, the world is less colorful without him in it.

So this morning, with a Garth Brooks intro, to the genius that is Prince, Purple Rain brought me to tears, on valentines day, while in the sunshine of a perfectly normal morning.  I LOVE that Prince can speak to me any time, any where, and TOUCH my heart, like only he can.

If you've not listened to Prince in awhile, do!  The man can say things with a guitar that most people couldn't say with every word in the dictionary, in every language known to man.

Happy Valentines day to you all....

Happy Valentines day to my Hubs, I love you.

And Happy Valentines day to Prince in Heaven, Gone, but absolutely never to be forgotten.....PRINCE.

xoxoxo

*HeatherLynn*

Couldn't help myself:

Maybe this will go to show just how "simple" I can be, but for the love of pete, this just tickles my funny bone to no end!

Elf Tested.  Heather Approved!

Fiddlesticks

and

Doggonnit

*HeatherLynn*

Just another non-ordinary day:

So first thing this morning I got an Email from the FBI.  Don't always get emails from the FBI, but when I do, I always am anxious to know why.

Apparently they wanted to inform me that:  "it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly completed an investigation with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you legally won the sum of $800,000.00 USD. from a Lottery Company outside the United States of America. During our investigation we discovered that your e-mail won the money from an Online Balloting System and we have authorized this winning to be paid to you via a Certified Cashier's Check."

How awesome is it that the FBI, in all their glory and prestige had the time to monitor my email and online balloting systems abroad!  My hard earned tax dollars at work right there! And you know, foreign entities just LOVE giving money to "greedy Americans!"  

All I have to do to get my $800,000 is:

We have completed this investigation and you are hereby approved to receive the winning prize as we have verified the entire transaction to be Safe and 100% risk free, due to the fact that the funds have been deposited at Bank Of America you will be required to settle the following bills directly to the Lottery Agent in-charge of this transaction whom is located in Lagos, Nigeria, According to our discoveries, you were required to pay for the following -

    The total amount for everything is $120.00 (One Hundred and twenty USD.) We have tried our possible best to indicate that this $120.00 should be deducted from your winning prize but we found out that the funds have already been deposited at Bank Of America and cannot be accessed by anyone except the legal owner (you), the winner; therefore you will be required to pay the required fee's to the Agent in-charge of this transaction via Western Union Money Transfer Or Money Gram.

How convenient right?

Yeah, go ahead and hold your breath "Lottery Agent", that $120 will be there any day now.....pffft!

Not only are we "greedy Americans" apparently they also think we're "REALLY STUPID F****** AMERICANS!"

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In other news, guess who picked up their manuscript yesterday and started to sort through it?  After I blew the dust off of it of course!  

Poor little manuscript was so lonely.

Felt good to have her in my hands.

I have a lot of work to do.

Was reading through it and was like...this doesn't even sound like me.

That's the thing about writing.  Your tone an change immensely in the course of a couple years.

Ever go back and read an old diary, and as you're reading it, you think to yourself, 
geesh, this doesn't even sound like me?

I'm having that feeling about my manuscript.

Like it was a stranger who wrote it.

One one hand, that's good, on the other hand it's terrible.

Good because I feel like I'm reading it with fresh eyes.

If I don't like how it sounds, it will kill me reading it without revising as I go...which will basically FORCE me to work on writing it better, and lastly, my mind will start generating different paths for the characters to take, because it doesn't like what I have them doing now.

Bad, because certain parts of the story might be scrapped entirely, and in some ways putting me back at square one.

Not recognizing your own writing can cause one to totally toss a story and write an entirely new one.  And I oh so hate throwing away hundreds of pages of work.  Hence turning the entire project into a seemingly daunting task that makes even the best writer want to take a nap due to depression, or drink heavily at the mere thought of starting over at square one.

Either way, I'll either finish my book, write a new book, or be in bed drunk off my ass for the forseeable future!

Whatever happens, it's sure to be just another non-ordinary day.

Any takers on which it will be?

Yours Truly,

*HeatherLynn*

Count down is on:

Two things that scare me:

#1 - Taxes

#2 - Haircuts

This week, I've received a ton of tax related documents....makes me get all sweaty palmed, and nervous.  I hate tax time!  Thank God I have a wonderful Tax lady who takes good care of me!!  

<3 her!

Thursday I am getting all my hair cut off!  Right now, it's longer than my bra strap in the back....so it's going to be a big big change!

My stomach is all full of butterflies about it.  50% excited and 50% scared!

This is the hair cut:

What do you think?

Can I pull it off?

It's been a long time since this girl had short hair....but so far in 2017 I've made some changes to better myself and the hair cut is just going along with those changes.  On my lunch hour, I've been swimming at the YMCA and it's THE MOST therapeutic thing I can do for myself.  The water is so restorative, and the smell of the chlorine fills my lungs and it's like medicine for my soul.

I've always felt that water, being around it, being in it, or just listening to it run and babble is necessary and absolutely needed....just like we need air to breathe, I need water to be.  Just to be.  So with that being said, I don't want anything holding me back from being in that pool as much as earthly possible.  So, the hair has got to go!  I'm going to be "Sporty Heather" in 2017, even if it kills me!

They say that you can't make drastic changes to one's life and expect them to stick, so I'm starting out slow, and making some slight modifications...started with the swimming.  Then I replaced my broken fitbit.  Followed that by starting to log my foods on MyFitnessPal again.  I've been trying to drink a lot of water.  I'm eating while being mindful of eating more WHOLE foods and less processed.  Naturally I am trying to reduce any and all fried foods and limited my pizza consumption.....those two are hard ones, but when nothing is OFF limits, you really can't FAIL and feel like you wrecked your diet, because you're not on a diet.  You're just trying to make better choices.

What this has to do with impending doom, or the two things that scare me I have no idea....

I ramble sometimes...please forgive me.

Maybe I should have said there are 5 things that scare me:

1. Taxes

2. Haircuts

3. Diet

4. Cardio

5. Mice/Rats - PETRIFIED of these disgusting creatures!  Don't even get me started on their beady eyes and twitchy demeanor!  *getting squirmy thinking about it*

That might have been a more accurate list!

Does anyone else's faces get like beet red when they work out?  Like embarrassingly so?  And don't even get me started on what it's like trying to run when you have ginormous boobs!  Let's just say, you girls out there with A'cups don't know how good you have it!

maybe 2018 will be the year of the breast reduction!  Don't tell my husband though, he's a boob guy, he'll cry if he finds this out! 

*laughs*

So there you have it the top 5 things that scare me!

Not in any particular order.

For those of you who are curious here's the rest of the list:

6. drowning

7. House burning down

8. My husband/mom/sisters/kid/or dog dying

9. Politics

10. Fanatics

Count down to hair cut is on....

*HeatherLynn*

Heather the Explorer

So in case you haven't heard, I recently resigned from my job as a Real Estate Agent.  It was time.

One of the reasons I quit was so I could do some traveling this summer and go have some fun in the RV my hubs and I bought ourselves for our wedding present to each other.  

Our first trip I THINK is going to be White Water Rafting in West Virginia.  Have any of you ever been?

I'm so excited I can't stand it!  Winter has that effect on me, being cooped up inside leaves you DYING to get outside!  The idea of being in short sleeves, on a river, and the possibility of there being sunshine....well to a winter sufferer like myself, it's just such a wonderful day dream to have.  All the vitamin D, antidepressants and alcohol in the world isn't enough sometimes to get you through WINTER.  The older I get, I think the worse it gets.  The longer winter seems to drag on, even though I'm sure it's not any longer or colder than it's been here the past 38 winters.  Funny how much our perspective changes with each passing year that goes by.  I think this year especially has been dismal because of all the negativity that is surrounding us.  All the political talk, all the hate/anger, all the pointing of fingers and blame being passed around.  So instead of allowing that to get at me, I'm going to daydream about a river, and a boat, and sunshine, and the idea that it won't be long and I'll be on that river, flying through rapids, waking up alongside my love, in an RV, in another state.

I intend on bringing my laptop on our travels this summer, and I hope to find creativity and enhance my imagination and do a little writing while out and about in the the world and on the road.

perhaps drink a little coffee, while sitting at THIS table:

can you picture the steam coming up from my coffee cup on another awesome summer morning.  I'll be wearing my flannel Chicago bears PJ pants and one of my husbands old T-shirts.

My laptop will be humming....

words furiously being typed onto the screen....

The world will be quiet except for some birds chirping announcing the morning has arrived.

The smell of smoldering campfires still hanging in the air.

ahhhhhhhhh....doesn't that just sound like heaven?

I cannot WAIT to go!

Anyone want to recommend some places for us to put on our calendar this summer?

Oh, how I'm dreaming of summer....

*HeatherLynn*

You know what's cool?

Do you want to know what my favorite part of my new fitbit is?

It's being able to see that a new 5-star review on amazon makes me go from a heart rate of 76 to 86!  How's that for science making life more track-able?!?!

Woot Woot!

If I get a bunch of new reviews, it would almost be like working out just reading them and getting all heart-flutter-ey!  

Beats the treadmill!

I do so love my readers!

Thanks for always being my bright spot in a dark world, each and every one of you!

Luv,

*HeatherLynn*

For Richer or Poorer

I heard a statistic yesterday that has floored me.  In a survey of married people, when asked if they won the lottery, would they divorce their spouse and 25% said YES!  

TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT!  

That seems high doesn't it?

If I wont the lottery, the first person I would tell is my husband.  If I won the lottery, the first person I would spoil is my husband!  If I won the lottery, I would travel the world WITH MY HUSBAND.

Sure, he and I have only been married a little over a year, but we've been together for like 8 or 9 or something like that now....and he's my best friend.  I love that guy so much "love" doesn't seem like a big enough word to describe it.  It's too common, and what I feel for him seems rare and precious in my opinion.

If you won the lottery, would your first order of business be a divorce?  If not, what would you do first?

First thing I would do....if it was enough money....I'd call my hubs, and be like, baby, quit your job, we're going on an adventure...a long one!

Can you imagine that call?!  I mean, what a gift to be able to be the person to GIVE someone else freedom to quit their job, and to have the adventure of a lifetime....and all because you spent a dollar on something silly and with impossible odds.

If I close my eyes, I can almost hear the quivering in my voice as I began to speak...the pounding in my chest....the kind of excitement that you just cannot contain!

What I wouldn't give to be able to make that call someday....

Ah, to dream of such things....

Good things come to those who wait they say

I'll keep waiting for my day

for my "lucky day"

Husband....just know that this wife, is NOT part of the 25%

This wife is 100% all in with you.

for richer or poorer

I'm your girl.

xoxoxo

*HeatherLynn*

On a side note:  My watch, out of nowhere, went from regular time, to military time!  it's really messing with me.

Really wishing I hadn't thrown out my instruction manual.

*Real People Problems*

Buying a cheap watch on Amazon....

that magically converts itself to military time.

and people wonder why I dream of winning the lottery.  Maybe then I could buy a watch that didn't look like THIS:

Oh, and the date's wrong too!  WTF.  Great!  I didn't even notice that before.