A Tribute to a one of a Kind, kind of soul....Chris "Superman" Terry

Saturday night, I had a dream of Chris.  First let me say that to my recollection, I have never dreamed of Chris before now, and I have not dreamed of him since.

this was my dream:

I was in a room with chris, a all white hospital room.  I knelt at his bedside, holding his hand, with my head bowed.  The sun began to shine through the window like no other sun I'd ever experienced.  It was so bright, blindingly bright....and gloriously golden, and oh so warm.  The kind of warm that you feel from the inside out.  It became so bright that I could no longer see Chris, or myself for that matter...all that there was was the light.

Then my dream fast forwarded and I was with Melissa, and she was grieving the loss of her beloved husband, so to comfort her, I took her for a drive in my car, we drove aimlessly into the night, it was dark except for our headlights, we were out in the country, and at first we both were sitting there not saying anything, just quiet tears falling, and then, the radio came on and began to Play "Silent Night", and she and I both broke out into sobbing and rivers of tears.  That song was so so so meaningful to us in that moment, we knew it was profound, and meant for us.  We looked at each other, and our eyes were so sad, but yet, we had each other and in that we felt supported by one another....so while the feeling of heartbreak was there, there was also a feeling of love in that car as well.

Then, out of nowhere, Melissa yelled, "STOP THE CAR!" and so I came to an abrupt stop, she jumped out of the car with a hand full of Fireworks.  She ran out into a field, and she shot up into the sky the most beautiful fireworks, like the big commercial kind that boom and fill the sky like no others.....

I told this dream to Melissa yesterday, and I really really didn't want to, for how do you tell your friend whom you love so much, "hey I had a dream that your husband died"....there's just no tactful way to say that, yet she told me, "Please tell me your dream"....and with a heavy heart, I told it to her.

To my surprise, she said "I like your dream, it sounds peaceful"

And I thought immediately of the song lyrics to silent night

"All is Calm, all is Bright"

And I felt compelled to tell her those exact words

"all is calm, all is bright"

I think that is where Chris is

a place where it's calm, and it's bright.

No more in a hospital bed

No more in the darkness of Leukemia...

He's where its Calm, and Bright.

R.I.P "Superman Christopher Terry"

You will NEVER be forgotten

Until we see each other again....

and until then, hopefully you'll keep me company in my dreams.

If you ever want to know what a true hero looks like, it's not a comic book character, it's not an actor on a screen, it's THIS GUY! An American Soldier, A husband, a son, a friend. And right now, I hope you will keep him and his loving Wife Melissa Terry in your prayers. It takes a very brave soul to fight for not just our lives as a Soldier, but to have fought for his own life against Leukemia for so long. I salute you Chris Terry, with all my heart.

Last night Chris went to be with the Lord, I can't tell you how saddened I am by this news. I spoke with his wife Melissa yesterday, and if I could have dove through my phone and held her in my arms I would have. They were one of my "happy couples" you know, the ones that you KNOW GOD put on earth for one another, they loved purely, unconditionally, and now...they will love eternally. My only thought is, is perhaps GOD always knew Chris was coming to be with him sooner than the rest of us, God knew he'd need an Angel here on earth to help him through the last three years...Melissa Terry is an Earth-bound-Angel in my eyes, spared from death once herself in a horrific car accident. I lost my Aunt last week to Cancer, and we lost Chris last night to Leukemia....I will continue to pray for healing for all of us left behind, and for someone to once and for all find a cure. R.I.P Chris Terry, you were truly one of a kind, and you will never be forgotten, that much, I'm sure.

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MY ORIGINAL POST FROM 2012

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Once upon a time, in a land far in my past, I met a girl.  She sat in front of me in Legal Research and Writing 101.  She was very unique looking I remember upon first noticing her.  She had a tattoo, wonderfully interesting eyes, and very distinct facial features.  I sat next to Kayla, my college friend who hated everyone upon first glace, and I remember Kayla making a snide comment about the girl and I felt instinctively protective of her....I wanted to protect her from anything negative, without even knowing her, I knew that one day I would.

Her name was Melissa, and a couple years later, I was a bridesmaid in her wedding!  Never even met the groom until a day or two before the big day.  His name was Chris Terry.  Upon meeting HIM, I thought to myself, so this is Melissa's Chris.  The soldier, the object of her love and devotion.....I stared at him for the longest time.

I'd heard so much about this man, I'd grown to know him through Melissa's eyes, and now I was seeing him for the first time with my own eyes....and I was curious about him.  After all, he was about to turn my dearest friend in a wife, and a soldier's wife at that!

Through the years, I've only grown more affectionate towards Chris and Melissa as a couple, and they ARE unlike any couple I've ever known.  They truly, truly know the meaning of true love.  Undying devotion, partnership, to honor, to cherish, they do all of that and more.  They have always made me proud to know them and call them my friends....no time more, than now.

You see Chris has been diagnosed with Leukemia, and is and has been fighting for his life against this aggressive disease this year.  He's a soldier, he's a son, a husband, a daddy to little fur face Burt, their pooch, he's not just guy, he's "the man"....and every time I think about the amount of courage, and strength it takes to fight for one's country....and then FIGHT for one's life....all while having a smile on his face, it makes my throat get all tight, and eyes get all watery, and my heart feels swollen and I'm overwhelmed with emotion.  It's been like this since Melissa told me the very disheartening news of the rocky road that lay ahead of them.

My Melissa is just not Chris's wife, she's his biggest supporter, she's his best friend, she's is "person"...and I know that for her, there isn't anything she wouldn't do for Chris, I think she proved that when she shaved her head to show her undying support to him:

{She is an amazing woman....absolutely endearing isn't she?}

Recently, there have been pictures surfacing on the Facebook Page that was created for Chris, it's called "Updates on Chris kicking Cancer's Butt"....Melissa has been really good about keeping us in the loop as to everything that goes on, almost AS it's going on....but here recently, the updates being posted are pictures are of people doing a push-up, holding little signs that says "Push-up for Sgt. Terry"....and again, throat tight, heart swollen, eyes watery!  This to me, is so symbolic, it's so heartfelt, that I could not help but to share it with all of you.  We are helpless to take this ailment away FOR Chris, but we CAN give him a push-UP while he's being bogged down.

For those of you who are friends with me on Facebook, I've started an Album there with the pictures so far, I would ask that should it be on your heart, to have it in you, to give my friend "Super Chris" a PUSH-UP....Go and post it there.  I fully intend to add mine as soon as I can get someone to take the picture for me.

To those who submitted pictures already, you all have hearts of gold and thank you for the support you offer Chris and Melissa, and for the inspiration you showed me....and hopefully everyone who reads this post.

Life is so short, and cancer touches so many....my Aunt Mary is also fighting the fight (Love you Aunt Mary)....so if you have the time, say a prayer for those who suffer, those who struggle, those who are in pain and those who get up each and every day and say "Not today Cancer....you're not taking me today..you're not taking me period!"

I hope these pictures touch you and offer you hope and strength and optimism and LOVE....like they did me.  In a world full of chaos, and political agenda's and everything else that stifles us, somewhere, someone's on their hands and knees/toes, giving a fellow human a push-UP!  I want to be among THESE people.

I always knew, from the first time I saw Melissa, that I would protect her in any way I could....I cannot protect her from this, but your prayers for her, for Chris, THEY have the ability to change lives, to change the world.  Keep these two amazing, WORTHY people in your prayers won't you?  And my Aunt Mary too!

Thank you very much in advance, I will forever be grateful for any support/prayers you can spare.

Sincerely,

~Heather Lynn~

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Its never easy to say goodbye....

Last night was so bittersweet.  To see all of my loved ones was nice, but to have to share in such grief with them was also heartbreaking.  I hate that as we get older, the only time we see everybody is at Weddings and Funerals.  That is the sad reality of aging and life, it pulls apart with time and space what once was close and bonded.

Harter & Schier Funeral home was wonderful to us, Eric Schier ALWAYS compassionate, always such a wonderful presence.  I thank him for the care and service he provided to us, as well as all the employees that were there.  What they do is nothing short of amazing sometimes....and I'm thankful for that.  I'm also thankful that my two sisters who couldn't make the trip home to be there were able to log in through a live feed online and watch the visitation, and then be with us for the Catholic Service and Eulogy.  While it wasn't like being there in person, it was the closest thing to it, and I'm thankful for technology like that, that allows us to be close, even when we are far apart.

The night was hard, and at times upbeat was we talked to relatives we don't see often, and as we shared in memories of days gone by....but the hardest thing for me the entire night was to witness a husband say goodbye to his wife.  I'll never forget the goodbye I saw, or the words he spoke to her for the very last time.  I'm in tears right now just typing this.  How do you say goodbye to the one person you can't imagine living without?

I was honored to have spoken at the wake.  I was honored that I was given the opportunity to talk about her, to share something with everyone in their time of grief...and sorrow.  Even if I couldn't look at anyone directly as I stood up there before them for fear of being overcome with grief, I was more than happy that I could do that....and be there, and contribute in some small way, perhaps a "good word" or a sentiment that people could take home with them, and hold in their hearts whenever they think about my wonderful Aunt Barb.  She truly was Wonderful, and I will miss her.

Barbara A. Osting 1953-2014

Barbara A. Osting, 60, of Delphos died Sunday at St. Rita’s Medical Center. She was born Aug. 16, 1953, to James and Rita (McRedmond) Miller, who preceded her in death. In 1975, she married Daniel Osting. They had went together since she was 15 years old. He survives in Delphos. Survivors also include two sons, Jason J. Osting of Landeck and Aaron L. Osting of for Jennings; a brother, Dennis (Karen) Miller of Orlando, Fla.; three grandchildren, Lauren Neumeier Osting, Cody Osting and Ethan Osting; and a sister-in-law, Elaine Miller of Fort Jennings. She was also preceded in death by a twin brother, Kenneth Miller. Mrs. Osting was a house wife and had also worked at Huffy, Teleflex and Rite Aid and was a member of St. John the Evangelist Catholic Church. She was an amazing mother and wife. She loved to fish and work outside. She was a caregiver to her mother, who had lived with her for four years. She was always willing to help and was a person people would go to. Funeral services will begin at 8 p.m Thursday at Harter and Schier Funeral Home, the Rev. Charles Obinwa officiating. Burial will be at a later date. Friends may call from 4-8 p.m. Thursday at the funeral home.

In talking to my mother this morning, she said my grandma and some others who were not able to make it to the service really wanted to read my Eulogy that I gave last night, and so I decided to post it here, so that if you were not able to attend, at least you might partake in the sentiment from the evening.  Keep in mind, it's written like a "speech" so it's a little different than other things you may read of mine.

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Hi,

for those of you who may not know who I am, I’m Barb’s niece, Heather, and I wanted to say a few words tonight, to honor her and for the type of woman that she was.  

Everybody have their Kleenex?  I got mine, so if you don’t have one out already, just get it out now.  I know everybody here is all rough and tough and made of steel and whatnot, but I figure if we’re going to cry, let’s just do it together, one big cry fest, we will be sissies together, and when we’re done, “what happens at Harter’s, stays at Harters” so all our reputations will remain intact. Okay?

First off, let me start by saying that I’m a writer, and as a Writer, we see everything as a story….we can make wild adventures out of merely going to the grocery store…that’s just how our brains work, so allow me if you will to tell you a story about my Aunt.  A woman who would never be so bold as to think of her life as a New York Times Best Seller.  And not because her life wasn't rich, or adventurous and not because her life wasn't meaningful and inspiring, but because Barb would never consider herself a leading lady.

While going through my photo albums to find photos for the photo boards on display here tonight, I tore through my album’s pages for photos of her.  And I’ll tell you, finding a good photo of Aunt Barb was like trying to find a picture of “Big Foot”….every picture I had of her, she was either half cut out of, standing behind someone else, or you’d see like the heel of her foot as she was walking out of the shot just as it was taken.  She was a very elusive creature to catch on film, God Bless her.  And I think that speaks to her Character…once more, Barb never thought of herself as a leading lady…never vying to be the center of attention.  That’s just not who she was.

But I will tell you WHO she was, and that’s a born Mother….a kind hearted caretaker to the core.  Barb took care of everyone.  Even if you didn’t know she was taking care of you, she was.  To a woman like barb, every supper she sat on the table for her family whispered “I love you”…every dirty pair of jeans she washed and folded, and tucked away into a drawer…said “I love you”, every late night call she answered, every time she picked one of her boys up, be it Dan, or Aaron, Jason, Cody or Ethan, OR DROVE all the way to Tennessee to pick up Lauren, she did it with love.  

Everything Barb did, she did in servitude to her family, or a friend. 

On a very personal level, I can’t tell you how honored I was that she cared about me.  From the time I was a little girl, playing G.I. Joe with Aaron at their house, Barb always said that she would of liked to have had a little girl herself, but since she didn’t, “I’d do”…at the time, I thought it to be a wild compliment.  Now, I think “HEY!  I’ll DO?  What the heck’s that supposed to mean?”  But seriously, she was always good to me.  As an adult, every time I would ride my motorcycle out to Rite Aid when she was working, I’d walk through those automatic doors and the first person I’d see was Aunt Barb, half smiling, half scowling, she’d look out the window at my bike, then she’d look at me and say “I don’t like this!  Not one bit!”  It wasn’t that she didn’t like Motorcycles, she just didn’t like ME riding one, she wanted me to be safe, she wanted me protected, and not risk my life needlessly.  I LOVE that she loved me.  Even when she was scolding me with disapproval, I knew that that was her loving me.

I think that if Barb could have taken care of the whole world, she would have given it a shot.  She wouldn’t of blinked an eye, she’d of just rolled her shirt sleeves up, and went to work.

I’m not sure if you all watch the Oscars, or even give a rat’s behind about what goes on in Hollywood, as Delphos is so far removed from the red carpets and glamour of tinsel town, but when I think about Barb, I think about the Oscar Category for “Best Supporting Character in a Motion Picture”….the Motion Picture being her life, the best supporting Character being her role as a Mother, as a wife, a grandmother, a twin sister, as friend, and as a daughter.  The thing about supporting Characters is, while they may not be front and center, it’s their work behind the scenes, it’s their performance that enriches the story, it’s their very presence that makes the story whole, and full of life, and character.

There can be no leading lady, or leading man without a Supporting Character.  They are the unsung heroes that give people like me, and you that encouragement to do more, give more, to BE more, in those moments when we fall short, in those moments when we feel alone, and in those moments when life puts the screws to us, none of us would make it to the other side, without people just like Barb….the world’s BEST supporting Character to have ever taken the stage.

 In closing, I just want to say, that it takes a very special person to marry and Osting, to give birth to Osting Children, to become a member of a family filled with a bunch of hard headed, determined, hotblooded and sometimes HOT headed, passionate and infuriatingly obstinate Ostings.  It’s no simple feat; I can assure you of that!  Barb fell in love with Dan when she was just fifteen years old, and she supported, loved and honored all of us with her presence for the next forty-five years.  She devoted her entire life, all her love and her very spirit to each one of us…Especially her boys and Lauren, whom I’m sure she never, EVER would have voluntarily left behind.

In her absence, I believe she would want the show to go on, for her loved ones, to love each other in her place, to support one another, as she has always supported us.

She may not be in the kitchen making beef in noodles, she may not be behind the counter at rite aid with a smile and a warm conversation anymore, but she’s with us, she’s all around us, because a mother like her never leaves her cubs unprotected.

If Aunt Barb were physically here right now sitting in the front row, she would have HATED being “publicly honored” like this, after I finished she would have grabbed my arm, pulled me aside and told me how unnecessary all of this was, how nobody needed to make a big fuss on her behalf, but I think each of us in this room know that she deserves our respect, our love and our promise to never forget her, because it is in our memories, that people never die.  I will NOT remember her as she is today, but as she was…and will always be in my heart, as I’m sure she’ll be in all of yours.

Thank you.

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RIP Aunt Barb,

1953-2014

I love you

I miss you

I'll never forget you.

~Heather Lynn~

A little humor for your Friday:

So as a woman, I've been programmed my entire life that women are to be alluring, sexy, ....teasingly so.  I've also been taught that men are very visual creatures, and you and I have both seen all the movies where women strip down to their underroos, do a little dance, or even I've seen it when a woman would put her panties into her man's pocket to be found later when they are apart...all to keep his mind occupied with visions of her in various scenes of undress and whatnot.

I think every red blooded American man who watched "Flashdance" remembers the scene where the main girl "Alex" the sexy dancer/welder takes her bra off under her shirt and pulls it out her shirt sleeve like it was nothing...while the man in her midst, practically falls out of his chair, fevered by the act...

Well, I'm no Alex the sexy welder/dancer....even though I do know how to weld, and I dance when I'm home alone and know that I won't be caught doing it.

But we all want to be attractive to our mate's , we all want to have that air of sexiness, to make them feel desire for us....I'm no different.  I want to always be the apple of Jerimy's eye, I want him to have eyes for me an nobody else....I want to keep things "fresh" in our relationship....

So the other day, I'm on the couch, and I'm preforming my usual ....HURRY UP AND GET THIS DANGED BRA OFF, my back is killing me routine.  Something that has become a necessity since my car accident a few years back...I have a lot of shoulder/neck/back/rib pain and when I get home, my bra shoots off and across the room like the cork on a Holiday Bottle of Champagne!  I sometimes eve say WOOOHOOOO when I do it.  As it truly is such a relief to get the weight of the world, also known as my boobs OFF of my shoulders!

Here's a few visuals that should help you understand:

 {they really do make an e-card for everything these days don't they!?!?"

Anyways...so there I was, taking my bra off, ready to settle in for a couple episodes of Melrose Place re-runs on Netflix for the evening...and Jerimy was in "the big red chair" diagonally from me, sharpening his World War II bayonet/knife he bought at the gun show.  I did the ole "flashdance" inside shirt bra removal technique and held my black lace bra in my hands, and without even giving it another thought, I tossed it over at Jerimy...

Now, for those of you who know me, KNOW that I have been blessed/cursed by my grandmother's GINORMOUS chesty assets, and I'm definitely my grandmother's granddaughter if you catch my drift.  So when I flung my bra at Jerimy....the sheer size, weight, amount of metal underwire was like I was tossing a five pound hand weight at him.

 It landed with a thud, nearly causing severe blunt force trauma to my handsome lovable Man, and I couldn't help but die laughing as I said "so, was that sexy or what?"  He looked at me, wide eyed and with a smirk with a look of "what the heck was that about?" and I shrugged and said "they do it in the movies!  It's supposed to be sexy!  Was it sexy for you?"  He laughed, and I laughed, and then he put my bra on his head and wore it like a hat.  More like an over-sized yamaka, but you know what I mean!

I know the newness and excitement of a NEW relationship is ever so seductive and that FIRE you have for each other is overwhelmingly awesome and all-consuming....but I'll never trade what we have now, that total and utter comfort, companionship, love and kinship that I have with him now, for the exciting beginnings we once had.  I love that we're not new anymore, that we're a pair of old shoes...comfortable, broke in just perfectly, it's heaven really.

In the beginning, sexy is throwing your bra at a man and then having a romp in the sack.  Later, sexy is throwing your bra at your man, have him put it on his head and you both laughing and truly enjoying a moment with him happily...THAT is the kind of sexy only time and unconditional love buy you!

Luv you J!

xoxox

Happy Friday, go home tonight and hug and smooch your loved ones...

You give what you get in this life,

Put something good out there...

and watch it come back to you!

~HeatherLynn~

HOLY CRAP!

I was just reading at a speed of 500 words per minute!

You've got to check this out, it's so futuristic!

Made me feel half human....half machine!

At this rate, people are going to read my novels so fast I'm going to have to write them at warp speed to keep up with my readers reading them!

Novels in 90 Minutes?!?!? WOW!

Visit and Like them on Facebook

TMI

What constitutes TMI?  In the "information age" that we live in, is there EVER too much information?

I write to you today because I'm the type of person who tells the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth when I share experiences I've had, or situations that I've witnessed.  I don't hold back on the "details" because a story is absolutely dependent on the details, is it not?  If I were to tell you:  "I went to the store yesterday."  that's very straightforward...to the point, right?

But what If I told you that:  "Yesterday, I made an emergency visit to Meijers, the dogs were starving and starting to look like they were about to turn on us.  That a 42lb of Dog Chow was on sale and I had a coupon!  That our refrigerator and cupboards were so bare...that I recently saw a tumbleweed blow through one of them and another contained a cow skull and bones.  An emergency visit became necessary when we used our last roll of "emergency toilet paper" and I just hate it when I have to resort to using a box of tissues to "get by"....

Is the idea of me using tissues as toilet paper TMI?

It is my believe that when you write to please EVERYBODY, you actually don't truly connect on a real level with ANYBODY.

Do you agree or disagree?

I once wrote a blog post about "DOES SIZE MATTER"?

It's a common thing you hear in movies, magazine articles....it's no news flash to hear the expression...

But I wrote about it and was informed that it "offended" some people who read it.

My response to this was, well, I was just saying what was on my mind, I didn't AIM my post at anyone, and I certainly didn't set OUT to offend

but yet I did.

I believe in Freedom of Speech.  I believe in the god given right to speak one's mind, and sometimes say what's on your heart, or your soul.  I think, and this is just me, the true test on what you should write and what you shouldn't, lies in what you hope to accomplish with what you've written.

Did you write to get a laugh?

To console someone's heart?

Did you write it to share your heart in it's rawest form, to connect and relate to your fellow man?

Generally, these three reasons are WHY I write "personal things" as opposed to every post being about my books, or book signings, or whatever is going on with my Author/Writing part of my life.

That is Fiction.  And Fiction is FUN, but I'm not a character in a book, and there's more to me than my imagination and the crazy things I wrote in my novels.  Not saying anyone thinks that, but I just wanted to say that my blog sometimes is a direct line of communication from my heart/soul to whomever might stumble by to have a read.  I am NOT afraid to write things as I see them, and in realistic detail, because THAT is how we connect with others on a REAL level, by being vulnerable enough to tell all the details.  Even the shocking ones, or the very intimate ones.

What's really pressing on my mind today, is something that happened a while back, I got a message on Facebook from a old co-worker/former classmate from school, and she said to me in not these exact words, but something to the effect of "your relationship gives me hope, and that love is really real, and out there."

This of course was like ...WHOA, Really?  I mean, how awesome is that?  I made someone have faith in love.  I gave someone hope that they too, can have a real, honest, connection with another human in a romantic way, unlike anything they ever had before.

How cool is that?

Can I even express to you how humbling that is to have someone say to you?

Now don't get me wrong, Jerimy and I can fight like cat's and dogs, and we've def. had our fair share of spats and miscommunications, and moments of angst...BOY have we!  I've wondered if we were going to make it, in the beginning, my mom and all my friends told me it was a lost cause, to give up and not wait for my relationship to catch up to the level of devotion and utmost importance that I had given it.  But I ignored all of them, and I held out hope....that one day, it would develop and be the wondrous thing I believed with all of my heart that I knew it could be.

And trust me when I tell you, putting yourself out there like that...OMG!  SCARY!

You feel like such an idiot pretty much 98.5% of the time!

If I turned out to be wrong, I'd look like a fool.

If I was wrong, I'd get "I told you so" from everyone I knew.

If I was wrong, my heart would be so devastated.

That was 2009.

This is 2014.

I wasn't wrong.

I never heard "I told you so"

and my heart was devastated a couple of times during my courtship of my Mr. Jerimy...*laughs*

But every scrape of pain my heart endured to win him

has been healed 100x times over in the amount of love that we generated together.

I would like to be able to share my experiences freely, without fear of offense to others...

I would like to be as raw and real with you that I would be with my best friend...whom I can bare my soul to.

Because those whom your bare your soul, share something that I think we were MEANT to experience with others...intimacy.

That's one thing I learned through writing my novels.

that it is a very INTIMATE thing to hold someone's attention.

To tell them a story, and make them FEEL something from what you've written.

I've made people cry.

I've made them laugh, I've creeped them out....which makes ME laugh!

Every person who reads something I've written has shared a moment of their time with me, 

and what is more intimate than knowing that you shared a moment with someone....that they GAVE you their time, their attention, the use of their imagination.

We live in a time when time goes so fast...LIFE flies by at a million miles per second...

so the fact that anyone takes TIME to spend with you, be it reading my blog, or reading my books, or leaving me a message on facebook, or shooting me a text...it took them taking a moment, to think of you, to stop their busy life in its tracks and interact with you.  Interaction is awesome.

So.....

with all of that said...

Is there anything I can't share with you?

If I bare my soul, will you scorn me and say that it was the dreaded

Or are we old friends, with no secrets between us?

is this a safe zone, where anything goes between friends?

And to end this very long blog, I leave you with "Frank the Tank"...Who I feel I relate to so much, he just says what's on his mind, with complete honesty...and no reserve.
I actually really like that about him.

For those of you who can't watch the video, I don't want you to miss out, so here's the transcript from the conversation above:

Therapist: Frank, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here.

Frank: Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And, uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think, well, maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? What, I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not?

An Eye Opening Email:

I have this friend, who is different from any other friend I've ever had or likely will have.  She's refined, and clever and funny.  She's a retired teacher, an activist for Cystic Fibrosis sufferers, she donates to charity, she is a writer, a public speaker, a wife and mother.  She's just cool, and thoughtful and for some strange reason, she likes ME!  Can you believe it!?!  Having her as a friend is the equivalent of dating someone out of your league! *laughs*

The reason I bring this up, is because my friend Beth, who had been out of town for a bit, wrote to me via email yesterday to tell me that she was "catching up" with me via Facebook, and what she could gather was that I bought a new gun, and was on the cusp of getting a new tattoo!

I laughed at the thought that in the time she was "out of touch", those two things were the highlights of my later winter/early spring.  Here is my religious, educated, sophisticated wonderful friend, and then there's me, gun toting, tattooed hooligan!  What on earth does she see in me?  I wondered upon reading her email..."Does she have any other friends getting tattoos and buying handguns?"  I'm guessing she doesn't!

What's funny to me is, I never really thought stereo-typically about myself.  On paper, to have my current life events scrawled out like that, I was like...WHOA, that's me!  And I can't help but to laugh, because I couldn't be LESS like the stereotypical tattooed, gun loving hooligan that on paper perhaps I may be perceived as.  Lets face it, many people see a person with tattoos and they automatically jump to the conclusion that you're a gang member, a criminal, uneducated, trashy...you get the drift...

While tattoos are becoming common place in today's society, in my line of work, they are still pretty taboo.  I work in an environment where everyone wears suits and ties, and still polishes their shoes with shoe polish.  I work with highly educated and prestigious Judges who I couldn't be more different from.  Yet my day job, allows me to enjoy all the "alternative things" I do so love...like ink, guns, writing crime novels, dying my hair a wide array of wild colors.  I cannot deny, I have NEVER been someone who tried to fit myself into any category I was expected to conform to.

This couldn't be any more clearer than when talking to a particular teenager who I won't mention officially who told me that he had a shirt that he had bought and that kids were making fun of because it was like "a girls shirt"....so he immediately decided to cut the shirt up / alter it.  I was like, "Why, it's a nice shirt?"  Why did he feel like he had to conform to what the masses expected of him in order to fit in?

Why can't he see the beauty in this?  Who would you want to be friends with in this picture, the suits?  Or the guy standing on his head?  I'd take the headstand guy any day and twice on Sunday!  "Individuals" are fun to be with, always keep you on your toes and amused!  I think it's a fantastic quality!  An attractive one!  That's one of the things I LOVE about Jerimy, he's truly UNLIKE anyone else I've ever known...

In high school, I wore what I wanted, not what was "in style" per se.  #1) my folks couldn't afford what was "in style" and #2) my idea of style was't the gawd awful colorful sweaters from County Seat (remember that store), I never had Nike's, or Adidas or the latest cutting edge "walkmans", or "cd player"....I was rocking the "TAPE PLAYER" long after the rest of the world was going Compact Disk!  And that was ok, because I didn't care about what everyone else did....my "tapes" sounded kickass to me!  And I was perfectly happy wearing Jeans, black boots and a Black T-shirt.  That's what I WANTED to wear anyway.

So what am I rambling on about you ask...well, I guess it's about realizing that there ARE some people out there who continue to take people for who they are.  Beth is "in my eyes" someone who has every reason NOT to associate with the likes of me.  She's meticulous at grammar and punctuation, I'm haphazard in my writing and use (...) more than anyone has a right to!  She finds it easy to write NON-fiction, and enjoys "rules" and "Structure" and truth...I cannot function under the confines of rules and expectations of a "right" and "wrong" way to do things and what is Fiction...but a complete fabrication of the truth?!  Her skin is lovely and bare of any dyes or piercings...I have tattoos and I think they are as much a part of me as any part I was born with.  She is charitable, and kind, and giving, and is an example for anyone to look up to...I buy guns and sometimes struggle with wanting to start smoking again every time summer roles around!  *laughs*

I guess, it was eye opening to have myself "played back" to myself, to see myself through the eyes of someone else, someone who I couldn't be more honored to have as a friend.  And you know what, THANK GOD for people like her.  Someone who doesn't see tattoos, motorcycles, a wee bit of a fowl mouth as "dealbreakers" to knowing someone and liking them.

I will say this though, I have always believed that when it comes to religion, I have come across a lot of "Christians" and religious types that look down their noses at the "sinners" of the world.  I have found that for some, "judgementalness" is synonymous with religious...and for that reason, I ALSO never wanted to be "that kind of religious"...I made my own rules and had my own thoughts about spirituality and God.  Again, rules seem to be something I struggle with. Anyway, I guess in Beth, I've found someone who's faith in God isn't tainted with judgment, she's a good example all the way around.  Plus she feeds me wine and cheesecake when I visit, so if that's not a wonderful testament to her type of "goodness" I don't know what is!

I mean, C'mon, SERIOUSLY, HOW ON EARTH COULD THESE TWO BE FRIENDS?

And yet she loves me and is my friend.

Thank God for that!

Luv,

~HeatherLynn~

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON BETH HUFFMAN...
and her wonderful books:

Visit her at her BLOG:  Beth's Blog

Order her books on Amazon:  Amazon Listing

Or Email her @   bethhm@roadrunner.com

Her books are outstanding, inspirational, and touch your heart in ways only TRUE LIFE stories can.
If you are not a fan of my books, you very well may LOVE Beth's!
Go check them out on amazon, great descriptions of the books' content and a sneak peak as well!

Monday Morning...AGAIN!

I hate to beat a dead horse here, but is it Summer yet?  I tell you, this winter's been brutal, and yes, before you say it, I KNOW that it's winter, and I live in Ohio...but where's our Ohio Winter Reprieve that we usually get?  In my lifetime, I remember more often than not, we get a nice 50-60 degree day at least once or twice a winter...two years ago, we got one once a month!  I remember this so well because it was the first year I was riding a motorcycle, and I got to get out and ride ONCE a MONTH ALL WINTER LONG!  *sighs*...what I wouldn't give to go out and ride right about now....do they even make snow chains for motorcycle tires? *winks*

So here's what has been going on inside my brain....first, we'll start with this morning!  I was really excited to get to work because at work, there's coffee!  mmmmmmmm....coffee!  I kinda quit making coffee at home these days, because I wanted going back to work to have ONE up-side to staying home in bed and not getting out of my pajamas.  That thing is COFFEE.  If I go to work, Coffee is my reward!  Just like a mouse on a wheel running for cheese.  I truly do miss my morning Splenda though.  My friend WES VANMETER ruined it for me though!  I tell you, Facebook is such a great tool for passing along BAD NEWS!  As it turns out, Splenda is apparently BAD FOR YOU!  I cannot tell you how sad this makes me!  I LOVE SPLENDA..Splenda is just plain SPLENDID in my opinion.  However, due to the following reasons I have stopped partaking in the splendid sweetness of Splenda.

R.I.P Splenda, you will be missed!

So this morning, as I partake in my now "less-sweet" liquid splendor known as coffee, I am also enjoying a favorite breakfast of mine, something that would make my old roommate and wonderful friend of many many years Amber Kimmet Kruse gag!  See, when we lived together, on 12th Street in Delphos, when we were young and unruly and drank way way too much than any young ladies should, we spent a lot of time hung over.  And when we'd role out of bed after an all night bender around 1:00-2:00 in the afternoon, we each had our morning hung over ritual of making our favorite hangover meal/cure before we settled onto our couches and chairs to spend the next six to eight hours of watching non-stop Lifetime movies.

Mine meal was "English muffins" with creamy peanutbutter with BBQ potato chips and a big glass of milk.  Amber's was LaChoy Stirfry from a can!  *gags*...that crap would stink up the whole house!  I mean, if I didn't feel queasy when I woke up, I sure would when Amber would start making her famous LACHOY hangover meal!  But the funny thing was, she thought my English muffin with PB & BBQ Chips was the most disgusting thing ever....and I thought the EXACT SAME THING about her LaChoy!  Good thing we loved EACH OTHER, or this may have presented a problem!

So Amber, if you're reading this, I ate your favorite meal to hate for breakfast....minus the coffee and BBQ Chips!  I wonder when the last time you had LaChoy for breakfast? *laughs*

You there, reading this, what's your hangover meal?  Is it gross?  Leave your mark...comment below in the comment section....

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Lastly, I drove into Delphos Saturday to meet my family for Breakfast at Baked to Perfection....and while stopped at a stop sign, I saw a girl that I went to High School with, pass by me in a reddish/maroon colored mini van.  She had her daughter (i presume) with her, and I looked at her face and I thought, wow, it wasn't that long ago, that I saw this girl as a young girl, probably driving some junker high school driver car in the parking lot before Marching Band practice, or driving around town after a football game, with her whole life ahead of her....a totally unknown future.  And now, she's driving a mini van, and has a lovely daughter who she's giving the same opportunities and future possibilities that had once laid before her.  WE are the mothers and fathers of our town now.  And I don't know why this surprises me, I mean I'm 36 years old, I practically have a 16 year old step-son, I just don't know how it happens, one day you're a girl, and the next, somehow you realize you're a woman....and you never knew you'd made the leap.  And you say to yourself, "How did THAT happen?  When did it happen?...and why is it happening to me?"

But then you look at your children, or step children, or nieces or nephews, and you smile, because you know that while you may not have AS much life ahead of you as they do, but you know that you're going to get to see/watch them as they turn into the adult that you now find YOURself.  That's interesting don't you think?

I'm sorry to say, but I don't FEEL 36, Mostly I feel like an 18 year old stuck in the BODY of a 36 year old!

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I guess, looking back, and thinking about life as a 36 year old, I think now more than ever, that it's truly important to make every day count.  Because as we age, time seems to go by faster and faster, years fly by nearly in the span of a few months...and before you know it, you'll find yourself wishing for more time.....but one thing I think is the coolest thing about being a WOMAN instead of a GIRL....is the idea that I'm no longer just a girl, I'm a woman who can do the things I want, I don't answer to anyone but myself...(and Jerimy of course on some things...cuz I love him to bits)....but my life is 100% mine to do what I want with....and I've got all the tools I need, to MAKE my life what I want it to be, or if I love it as is, I'm smart enough to ENJOY what I have and take the time to truly appreciate it.

So on that note....I leave you with a quote that I think means oh so much....

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Luv,

~Heatherlynn~