Tuesday in the Frozen Tundra that is Ohio:

It’s freezing once again here in Ohio.  I swear it’s like we live at the North Pole these days.  And yes, yes, I know, I live in OHIO….I know we get “winter” here, but seriously?  ALASKA is warmer than Ohio this winter.  That’s no joke, I have a Facebook friend in Alaska that posts the temp there all the time and even she’s WARMER than we are.  NO FAIR I say!

However, Ohio’s “Deep Freeze” does have some benefits I hear, so I thought I’d share some of those benefits with you so perhaps we together can find some silver lining in all of this madness.

#1 - Apparently these temperatures could ward off some of the tree killers we have here in NW Ohio, Example:  The emerald ash borer and the fungus that causes sudden oak death.

#2- Colder Temperatures force insects down further into the ground, causing the soil to be better fertilized and therefore more productive in the coming growing season.

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So those are good things….some things that are not so good (if you notice, my list of GOOD things could use to be a little longer to balance things out…feel free to email me some other benefits and I’d be happy to add them to my list if you know of any!!)

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#1 - Frozen noses, toes, fingers, nose hairs!

#2 - My poor puppies go outside and their pee freezes before it hits the ground and it hurts their paws to touch them to the cold ground.

#3 - My electric bill is $400.00. (NO JOKE)

#4- My Mercury GROANS at me when I try to start it.  Poor thing.

#5 - Parents have spent so much time cooped up in their houses with their children; some are contemplating “eating their young”.

#6 - People apparently drink a TON of milk to stay warm and make banana sandwiches, because every time I go to the store, there’s never any milk, bananas or bread.

#7 - Frozen pipes = no showers, no toilets…= smelly people who have to use the restroom.

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On days like this, I like to close my eyes and dream of the feeling of sand between my toes.  Close your eyes with me won’t you…let me take you with me....

With your eyes closed, I want you to imagine the following:

There’s a faint smell of fish in the air, not the kind that makes you want to be grossed out, but the kind that is mixed with seaweed and equal parts bad as it is good.  You can hear the sound of waves hitting the sand and feel the cool breeze coming off the water, mixing with the heat coming up off the sand.  

A seagull squawks off in the distance, while you catch a whiff of Sun Tan Lotion waft up from a couple of teenage sun bathers not far from where you stand.  A volleyball game hails some hooting and hollering….someone shouts “MINE” and “GOT IT” and you smile as you wish, like me, you were more coordinated and had the beach body of Kerri Walsh Jennings or Misty May-Treanor.

Are your eyes still closed?  Do you have the hankering for a hot dog from the boardwalk, or some saltwater taffy?  Can you feel the weight of your over sized sunglasses on the bridge of your nose?  

Can you picture the vivid color of your beach towel of choice? (mine’s varying shades of bright and glorious blue/teal).  Can you hear the rumble of a couple Harleys in the distance?  In your mind, do you have your sand castle built?  

Can you feel that sunshine giving some color to your pale Ohio skin?

When life starts to get too cold, and summer seems too far away, I like to use the TWO things God gave me that help combat the winter blues, and that’s my IMAGINATION and the blessing of MEMORY.

Where can the use of yours take you today?

Luv,
~HeatherLynn~

{btw - all the pictures in this post are my own!  Nice to find good use for them.}

I've been asked a lot, how I write stories...

where they come from....

Well, this might look like just a door to you

in fact its a door here at my office.

Pretty typical door right?

Well in this door, I see 

4 wine glasses,

big bird,

Delbert

&

A pair of legs in the air complete with feet.

Jerimy's bathroom door at his house on clime street,

Ariel's dad King Triton.

And I always see shapes and things in the clouds.

My brain never stops inventing, seeking out and entertaining me.

And thank god I say, because how many bathroom doors have you stared at and just saw a door?

Never lose your Child-like wonder, or your imagination
You're born with it, but it's your job to not let it die as you age.

And let me tell you,
its not any easy thing to keep
LIFE sometimes will suck the enthusiasm right out of you
Your job is not to let it.

This list is the kind of thing that will keep you young
amused
and the life of any party
Try it
Like it
Live it!

~HeatherLynn~

Just for fun:

 Criminal Background check Thumbprints

 Sperm swimming upstream

 Boobs as pictured in a national geographic
or a heart that's been stabbed with a knife
or balls, could be balls....
Or an Alligator's eyes

A dandelion at seed about to blow away
4th of July fireworks
Shattered glass
A Lion sleeping

Everybody's got that one Friend (or if you're lucky, TWO)...

I'm a pretty positive person, I like to NOT let negativity get the best of me, but I'm not perfect, and sometimes, it's not easy, especially when winter has you feeling like a caged animal, surrounded by snow, frigid temperatures and with no end in sight.

Well, I let the winter "caged animal" anxiety blues get the better of me the other day, and it leaked out onto my better half in the form of...."I want something, but instead of just asking for it, I tried sugar coating it, adding a bunch of stuff about my feelings (such an icky word to boys) and somehow it snowballed into a big mis-communication that turned into drama (another word I try and avoid at all costs)...and while my intentions were good, my delivery sucked, and my man got miffed and my night went all sorts of wrong.

First and foremost, I HATE, HATE, HATE when J and I are out of sorts with each other, #1) because I love the guy almost to the point of ridiculousness, #2) I went about it all wrong #3) I made waves when there's NOTHING wrong with a placid sea, and lastly #4) for a writer, I kinda sometimes SUCK at communication!  {I KNOW RIGHT?!?!  NO WAY!!!}  *laughs*

So, when I need someone to tell me I'm an idiot (if I'm being one), or tell me HOW to wrap my head around a situation, I call in the big guns!  Aka KAREN.

Karen is a Texan, she's blonde, she's beautiful, she's strong, she's blunt and she's got more experience in her pinky finger than I think I have in my whole body!  She's my Wikipedia!  If there's something I need to know, she's one of the people I instantly MUST speak with.

Yesterday I told her of my most recent woes, and she did what a true friend does, she gives it to me straight.  She don't coddle me, she don't tell me what I want to hear, she told me exactly what I did wrong, and told me helpful insightful ways to avoid such pitfalls in the future.

{side note:  this was my favorite Atari game}

In ONE conversation that took place over the course of 20 to 30 minutes, she erased 24 hours of misery, hurt feelings and silence.  She stitched up, rubbed ointment on my open wound and viola, I was practically as good as new again and optimistic once more in love, life and humanity.

To add that Karen and I have never actually MET in real life, really makes our unique friendship even more unique.....Just goes to show that friendship IS something that knows know bounds, space nor time.  You can be friends if you wanna be, and there's not a damned thing that can separate true kinship.

In this life, we all have our go-to people.  The person who gives us tough love, the person who can make you smile when you're so broken, the person who's just full of energy and is light and just fun to be with, you have your friends that will get in trouble with you, friends who'd lie for you, friends who'd make a fool of themselves with you...and friends who can make a fool OUT of you, but you never get mad at them for it.  I'm lucky, in my life I've had the great pleasure of meeting so many amazingly wonderful MEN and WOMEN who have made my life better just by being in it.

{you know who you are guys....Karen's in very good company here}

I know I write here a lot about "FRIENDS", but that's only because without them, I wouldn't be who I am, and I'm forever indebted to them, and thankful FOR them.  Each and EVERY SINGLE ONE!

~HeatherLynn~

Memories:

Today while having my truck receiving a little TLC from the wonderful people down at Tom Ahl's, I got a rental car to drive.

I figured the vehicle wouldn't be as awesome at my Mariner, generally loaner vehicles aren't "top of the line", and when they lead me to the lot, to a running Buick park avenue, tan in color and as big as Noah's Ark, I just smiled, and hopped inside.  I mean, it's like six degrees outside, no use standing out there freezing to death.

I got inside and sat on the leather driver's seat and it was much squishier than I'd expected.  It was as if i was sitting on a pillow....the leather was so soft and worn.  I looked out over the dash to see the never-ending hood that seemed to go on for miles.  This too made me smile.

As I looked around anxiously for windshield wipers and put the car into drive, I felt the boat slowly move forward and we headed out to Allentown road where I was transported not just to work, but IN TIME!  I was no longer 35 years old, driving to my job, I was 7 and riding shotgun with my grandpa Rollie in his Cadillac.

My Grandpa Blockberger was such a wonderful man.  Kind, gentle, an absolute example of a Man.  And boy did he love his Caddys!  They were so smooth, I remember thinking when I rode in them that they felt like you were gliding down the road on a sofa made of feathers.

Growing up the way I did, a bit "rough and tumble", having a man like my Grandpa in my life was such a blessing.  I don't know if he even knew how profound of an effect just his presence had on me.  So many times, when I was hurt at the hands of a man, I never got bitter, or thought to myself that "ALL MEN" were assholes.  How could I, when I knew ONE in particular that would never do such a thing.

I want to tell you a story about him....so you can love him as much as I do.

When I was in High School, I dated this boy, whom we'll call....Donald.  Donald was pretty much my first "real" semi-grown-up relationship.  I was crazy about him.  We'd been dating for about a year when I was to be inducted to the National Honor Society.  Which was kinda a big deal to me, as being "smart" was something that I really did strive for.  I know, I'm a nerd!  But I really did WANT to be a part of something that showed that I was good at something.  That I "had something"....ya know?  

I'm not super coordinated, I can't paint, or sculpt, or run fast....but getting good grades, that was something I was pretty sure I could do, so to have it recognized by my school by way of being inducted into the Honor Society, well that m'friends was something I was proud of.  My older sister too had been in Honor Society...but she disgraced the family by being kicked off of it! *laughs hysterically*...God I love my sister!  She's THE BEST and THE WORST influence a girl could ever ask for growing up. (LUV YOU ANG!)

but anyway....so the night before my big induction, my long time boyfriend who I THOUGHT adored me, broke up with me, which I then found out that no only was he breaking up with me, but that he had been cheating on me with someone he worked with, and had gotten her pregnant!  I was beyond devastated.  I thought he was wonderful!  I loved him, my family loved him, he was the center of my universe, and so to hear that he threw it all away like it meant nothing...well, it was more than my young brain could comprehend.  I cried all night, and went to school dressed in my "business attire" best, and with puffy eyes and intermittent crying spells, I awaited the assembly in the gym for my induction.

Miss Vargo, my business teacher, bless her soul, took one look at me and she pulled me aside and asked me what boy had broken my heart, and what his address was, because she'd take our class with baseball bats and make him sorry he hurt me!  Which I'm not going to lie, really did make me smile...and then blow a snot bubble out of my nose.  I never knew Miss Vargo had a sensitive bone in her body until that day, but from that day on, I saw her in a whole knew light.  I kinder one, she was a good woman, despite what anyone else ever would say or think of her, I knew she was kind.

but anyway, my folks had a business to run, and their business was at it's peak the day I was to be inducted and they couldn't get away to come to the ceremony.  I was feeling THE MOST alone in the world, no boyfriend, no family in the stands giving a shit about my accomplishment, I felt like nothing mattered, least of all me.

But as the ceremony started, and I walked up to the podium to say my part, I saw them there, my Grandma Irene and my Grandpa Rollie, sitting there smiling ever so proud of me.  I could see in their eyes not just kindness, but sympathy and love as well.  They showed up for me, and in that moment, they kept me from complete and total despair.

After the ceremony, they waited for me, and I walked with them down the long Jefferson High School hallway, and my grandpa put his arm around me and he said "Heather, I know that you are hurting, and I know that you're sad, but I'll tell you right now, any man who will hurt you like this, isn't worth your tears, and isn't worth your love.  There WILL be a man someday who will love you in a way that you never have to doubt, who will treat you like the one thing that he'll NEVER want to lose, I know God will send you someone like that.  You just wait and see".

He told me that in 1994, and he died in 2002.  I never lost hope in finding love like he'd promised me.  I never lost faith in men, or in mankind.

So today, I thank Tom Ahl's for giving me a ride with my Grandpa again.  I didn't know how much I missed him until that tan boat in my parking lot reminded me.

R.I.P - Rolland Blockberger - aka my Grandpa.

July 28, 1927 - March 23, 2002

Nostalgic in Ohio,

HeatherLynn

Before Christian Grey.....

Before there was Christian Grey, There was "E. Edward Grey", from the Movie the Secretary.

I've never watched anything like it,

It's truly a strange movie, but one that held me captivated by it's intensity.

It's graphic, yet, there's something beautiful in it.

I haven't read 50 Shades of Grey, but from what I hear of it, perhaps you too might enjoy this movie.

or the novel it's based upon:

 I have not read the novel, but in case you're more of a reader (as I hope you are) than a movie watcher, I wanted to equip you with all the information I could! :)

I feel bad about it, but I have a confession!

I like to think of myself as a person who loves all, accepts all, doesn't judge, keeps an open mind....

I mean, I really pride myself in these things, 

yet each and every single day

I fail miserably...

When I

Judge others

by what they look like!

I'm so ashamed.

EXAMPLE #1:

For instance, the guy in Chevy Corsica, a car he probably bought new in '88 right after he retired at 55.

It likely only has about 42 thousand miles on it, because since retirement, he hasn't went anywhere except to the store, to church and to Dr. Apts.

He's 81 now, healthy as a horse and Social Security is hoping he dies off soon, because they hate it when people outlive their welcome around there.

and at 81, with a 26 year old Chevy Corsica, neither he, OR his car are moving very fast.

EXAMPLE #2

If I come up on a Truck that looks like this:

first things first, I look to see if the truck is jacked up, has "mud tires", is a 4x4, or if it has "stacks".  If it has any of these things, there's a good chance it's a Northwestern Kid aka UNOH, and they are ok, they keep the road interesting for sure so I don't worry about them.

But if it's a single cab, two wheel drive, has twine of any kind dangling from it, or a 55 gallon barrel in the bed, they too are automatically put int the same category as the 81 year old Corsica driver.

EXAMPLE #3

If your back window looks like this!

Or if any of the below pictures are you...

I'm so sorry, but I've probably totally snubbed, judged, or avoided you!

I cannot say how sorry I am for automatically thinking you may be "stinky", "slow", "dirty" or "annoyingly stopping too many times for my liking"

I realize I don't own the road, and you have every right to be on it too, so I hope you'll forgive me if you see a silver SUV streaking past you as if you have the plague.

OR THIS in your rear-view mirror, trying to pass you as quickly as possible:

I'm sorry.

It's not you,

its me.

Love,

HeatherLynn

on a side note, THESE GUYS,

Always seem to be in a hurry to get to making their stops, so they are ok to follow, so long as you watch for turn signals!
And they generally seem to be in a big hurry to "get home"!

In My Opinion....

I think people who buy Almanacs:

secretly believe that one day, something like THIS just might happen:

Marty McFly, a typical American teenager of the Eighties, is accidentally sent back to 1955 in a plutonium-powered DeLorean "time machine" invented by slightly mad scientist. During his often hysterical, always amazing trip back in time, Marty must make certain his teenage parents-to-be meet and fall in love - so he can get back to the future.

Here's what I know....

Dieting with aspirations to look like this:

makes me FEEL like THIS:

Photography:

For those of you who love a pretty picture, I posted some JUST for you on my photography blog....go have a look for yourself!

"Do You See What I See?" (A Photo Blog)

It's that time of Year Again!

You know what makes me smile!??!

Downton Abbey's back!

Woot woot!

It better not be as sad as last season...

Or I'm going to demand the change the name of the show to "DOWNER Abbey!"

Just sayin!

You hear me Julian Fellowes!??!?!

Love the show, please quit killing people I <3

Oh, pretty please

*said in my best brittish accent*

Greetings from subzero temperatures Ohio.....

You know it's cold out when you pick out your panties based on "what looks warm"...

I think THIS is going to be the next big fashion Trend in the Delphos/Spencerville/Lima/Fort Jennings/Van Wert area!

Fur Panties anyone?

You know you want to!

"yeahhhhh babyyyyy!"

bow chicka bow wow!

*said in my best Barry White Voice*

Come for the hospitality, LEAVE due to insanely unstable, and a lot of times Undesirable, weather conditions! 

Its never easy to admit your shortcomings:

I was bored the other night and was surfing NETFLIX for something to watch and came across a documentary titled "the Perfect Human Diet"....I watched it and was very interested in some of the things they discussed. Some made perfect sense, and some made my boyfriend of 4 years roll his eyes and say, "Why are you watching this crap!" 

I love knowledge, and I love hearing of other people's research on topics that interest me. Being a woman, of 35 years of age, nothing like a slowing metabolism, a desk job that makes your @ss grow at record speed, and a boyfriend you still want to look desirable to, to make you TOTALLY interested in THE HUMAN DIET. 

I will be the first to tell you I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE pizza and Chinese food, and pasta, and bread, and cookies, and Mexican, chips and salsa, cheese....I love soups with a cream base, I love a good Heath Bar Blizzard ice cream treat....food, has been such a wonderful thing to experience, until it wasn't me experiencing food, so much as food experiencing me! 

A quite a few years back, stuck in an unhappy marriage, and my own parents going through a catastrophic divorce which was filled with court battles, domestic violence disputes, I gained a record amount of weight and bordered on having a nervous breakdown. What resulted from those bleak times, was me going on an "atkins-like" diet and lost 30 pounds in like 3 months! It was wonderful to no longer look at the clothes I was folding out of the dryer of mine, and thinking to myself, HOLY FREAKING COW THESE KHAKIS ARE HUMONGOUS! THESE CAN"T BE MINE!! 

That was then, and this is now, and here I am, once more, looking at my clothes and thinking....my butt really can't be THAT big, CAN IT?!!? 

And so, with your help and support, here I go once again, to set out on a journey of "self control", the abolishing of gluttony, and the quest for smaller pants! 

I don't want to feel like crap anymore. I don't want to be sluggish and foggy-minded (which as a writer, really hinders the creative juices which I need to finish my next novel).... 

So join with me if you will....don't let me fail. Hold me accountable, tell me my butt looks big in those jeans....(with love and sympathy) and let 2014 be the year I stop being a victim and a hostage to food, and let the joys in my life be my family, writing, photography, lets get crazy and throw exercise out there again.... 

Who's with me? 

Sincerely, 

Tired of being "Chubby in Ohio" 

Heather Lynn Osting

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