It's Halloween....

Happy Halloween everyone!  Hope you all enjoy a spooktacular day!

This year, my thoughts are about masks.  As kiddos are out wearing their masks, I think about the masks we adults wear....that fake smile that says "Everything's ok"....when it isn't.  That look on one's face that says they aren't mad, when their insides are probably screaming....and let us not forget about pain.  Those of us who look fine on the outside, but who are suffering with every fiber of their being on the inside.

I'm not going to lie, I'm no stranger to pain, in my childhood I experienced quite a bit of it, some of it emotional, some of it physical, but nothing compares to the pain I have now after an automobile accident I endured nearly a year ago.

While I smile and appear "fine" on the outside to those around me, on the inside, the pain is sometimes all consuming.  I HATE it.  I hate the aches, the pains the overall feeling of extreme discomfort.  Short of laying down flat, there is no comfortable stance or position for me.  Sitting is uncomfortable, standing is uncomfortable, driving, thinking....it all hurts to do, yet I cannot NOT do it...I have to work, I have to continue to live a "normal" life, when NOTHING about the way I feel these days, feels normal to me.

People keep asking me, when are you going to close out your car accident insurance claim.....and I don't  know what to tell them, because I don't know if I'll EVER feel better....a stark reality that makes me scared to death, think about that for a second..."What if I never get better???" is that not one of the scariest things to realize, that perhaps this is the best you're ever going to feel again, and what you feel now is pain?

Suddenly your life isn't fun, your life revolves around heating pads and ice packs and OTC pain relievers, and physical therapy and chiropractor appointments.  Your no longer ABLE to do the things you used to, and if you DO do them, you pay for them severely in the amount of pain it causes you TO do them.

Pain is something I never truly understood, I had no idea you could look so "normal" and yet hurt so badly...every minute of every day.  Pain like nails on a chalkboard, impossible to ignore.

I could go the Dr. and ask for pain meds, but I don't want to be addicted to those, I don't want my physical status to be ruled by what drug's I've ingested.  I just want more than anything to feel BETTER, to feel like the old me who could run and skip and jump and smile without so much effort and side effects.

Most people have no idea that you have your health, until you don't.  Suddenly the thing you once took for granted is gone, and you are no longer you, you're a shell of who and what you used to be.  And it can be taken from you in an instant, just like your life, it could be gone in a mere heart pounding moment.  Poof, gone.

So for those of you who don't suffer, please, for me, appreciate that.  For those of you who do, I can sympathize.  For those of you with hidden illnesses, lupus, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, etc., you suffer behind your smiles, and I never understood that better than I do now....I pray for cures for all of those things.

There are a lot of ways to suffer in this world, and so many do so silently.

I am not here to complain, or to whine, or to beg for sympathy, "poor me" is not my thing, but just know that sometimes, just because someone looks like this:  

doesn't mean they don't actually feel like This:

  

There's a saying that goes something like this:  "Be kind to everyone you meet, for you don't know what kind of battles they are facing..."  and I think it's important to remember that, when you encounter people who are not at their best, perhaps they aren't FEELING their best.

It's tough sometimes to put your best foot forward when all you want to do is curl up in a ball, and rock back and forth, praying the pain subsides.

I know, because I feel this way myself more times than I like to admit.

~

Health.

is

Priceless

~

Cherish

it

~

Painfully Yours,

~HeatherLynn~

Dead in A Ditch has a Face!!!!

IT FINALLY HAPPENED!!!

The cover shoot for Dead in A Ditch has come.....

and here's the proof!

Let me know which is your cover of choice!

VOTE TODAY!!!

xoxoxo

Yours Excitedly,

~HeatherLynn~

IT"S ALLLLLIVVVVVEEEEEE!

Er, well, not so much "alive" as it is "WRITTEN!"  yes folks that's right, I finally, finished it!

*wipes sweat off brow*

Man this has been a long long haul.....Now lets hope it was worth all the effort!

C'mon, do the happy dance with me!  Don't just stand there!

Shake that booty!

and hollar woooohooooooooo!

Thank you for taking the time to share in my joys

and for all the times you sympathized with my lows.

Yours Truly,

~HeatherLynn~

I hadn't expected.....

....to wake up this morning and have a day sprinkled with such good thoughts and feelings....

First my day started out talking to my cousin Aaron, who I love.  He's not perfect, and some might even find him difficult to love, but he's like a brother to me.  We talked my whole way to work, venting to one another about frustrations, laughing about other things, just catching up on each other's lives and I thought to myself...."that was a nice call to get today" so happy I picked up even in the middle of my rushed frenzy to get ready for work....and by the time I hung up with him, got out of my car to go into my building to work, I was feeling pretty lucky to have had the call, and to have him in my life.

Then....at lunch time, I tried to cash a check at my bank.  Only to find out they didn't have enough money.....(this was my insurance check from the bank to cover my flood claim) mind you, it's not a small check, but it's not a big check either.  I could see if it were for  $10,000 or something, I ended up checking with 3 different banks and none of them had enough to cash my check.  Can you believe that?!  I was starting to feel less lucky....and more grumpy as I trudged around in the rain, spending my entire lunch break trying to cash a stupid check....when I finally got sent to the Allentown branch....but I had to go inside, they couldn't cash that big of a check through the drive through....*sighs*....We can jump out of Airplanes for fun in this Country, but we can't cash a check of size through a drive through....

When I arrived, and got out of my car, a little lady, probably maybe in her 40's was coming out and man she did not want to step out from under the building's awning and get all wet and cold, so I said to her "Hi, where ya headed?"

She said "I don't know yet"....

Me:  "No, i mean where are you parked?  I'll take you there and share my umbrella with ya."

Her:  "Oh, *big smile*...I'm right over there, the red SUV"

So I walked with her and kept her dry....after all, I wasted my whole lunch hour, what was another 5 minutes to help her out right?

She was so happy!  She said as we walked:  "You know, I think my luck is changing...."

Me:  ""Oh, why's that?"

Her:  "Well first, I needed a notary, and the lady in the bank did it for me free of charge!  And now, I come outside in the pouring down rain, and a total stranger shares her umbrella and walks me to my car...It's just so nice....I was having a bad day, and now it's like it's turning around!"

And I think I puffed my chest out a little bit, Like well would you look at that.....my rainy crappy, can't cash a check day...and I made a lady feel like her day was really turning around.  Made that grumpy feeling wash right outta me and down the drain in the parking lot with the rain water.  I actually saw what optimism and thankfulness look like when they spread across a human face.  How cool is that?  She, a complete stranger I'll never see again, was thankful for me!
Isn't that something?

The more I do it, the more I live it, the more I find that the best gift you can give, is a smile, a helping hand.....and your time to someone else, free of charge.  Little acts of kindness are a gift to receiver AND the giver.

So thank you lady who I helped today, your appreciation turned my day around too!

Smiling even in the Rain,

~HeatherLynn~

THE THINGS YOU DO IN THE NAME OF WRITING:

you all know how hard I've been working on book # 3, and have been for quite some time, what you don't know is that I chose a local backdrop for part of the story, and it was a place I'd never been, a dark, scary, forbidden to go place and me being me, thought, well I'll just write a very nice letter to the owner of said dark, scary forbidden place, and well, why wouldn't he/she let me have a look around.

Well that letter went unanswered.  So I did some google online research, found out what I could, even located a couple videos from inside the structure on YouTube, and I thought, well crap, I guess this is as close as I'm going to get to being able to get a feel for the setting where so many things will happen to my characters....but Ann, oh, well, she took me on what was supposed to be just a simple and innocent fall photo shoot, that somehow turned into a quest, to get me to the place that my fictional characters would find themselves.  It started out as..."I'll just show you the area it's located"...which then turned into driving around the entire premises scoping out holes in the security of the property.  I looked like the unibomber in my dark shades and hat pulled down low....Ann, she looked perfectly sweet and innocent like we'd lost our way and were just trying to get directions.

Next thing I knew, we were devising a plan to infiltrate the compound....by stealth and deception, come hell or high water, us two grown women were plotting and scheming to storm the fort.  We'll call this place "the fort" in order to protect ourselves.

It was a grand plan, one in which we had no idea what to expect.  We faced everything are area had to offer in terrain, hills, marshy swampy areas, a ravine, sticker bushes that tore at our clothing, burrs that stuck to our clothing, I was sweating up a storm as we made the 2 mile trek to our destination.  Oh, but we thought we were so sneaky, keeping to the tree lines, keeping out a watchful eye for anyone who might want to have us shot or arrested on sight.  Ann wasn't nearly as worried as I was, I just was really skiddish about the idea, knowing full well that THOUSANDS of trespassers had made similar journeys to this place....that the location was a known haunted site that many travelers were in hot pursuit to visit, but that wasn't my purpose, I wasn't there to ghost hunt or to vandalize, I just wanted to close my eyes and allow my senses to  take in all that the setting had to offer.  What did it smell like, what noises could be heard, how hard was it to get to, the lay of the land if you will.  It's much easier to write about a place you've been, and experienced for yourself than try to write about a place that you've only seen in pictures.

Well to say the least, we arrived haphazardly to our destination and my, oh my it was glorious, the sun was perfect, our journey had been a success and we'd snuck in completely undetected.  All those times I played G.I. Joe with my boy cousins had paid off!  I felt like I could storm fortresses, sneak into foreign countries ..it's a high I think boys get, but girls don't often do.  Ann and I were G.I'freak'in-Janes we were!  Minus Demi Moore and neither of us shaved our heads or had rock hard bodies trained for fighting, but you get what I mean.

And Ladies and Gentlemen, It was exactly what I needed to finish my book.  It was like my book was coming alive before my eyes when I locked eyes with complex that laid before me.  The very essence of the haunted and eerie remains of "the fort" seeped into my  very center.  I closed my eyes, I smelled.  I listened to what my characters would hear, I looked at the broken windows, and the graffiti'ed walls, and overgrown landscapes.  I saw the smoke stack that went to the incinerator that burned the bodies of those who died here.....it was truly well worth the journey and fear and worry that came with trying to get here, it was worth it by far.

We walked slowly up to the building, I got up close, real close, close enough to stick my head inside:

It was here that I stuck my head inside and heard a dead and dying building, alive with activity.  The place was resounding activity from a million different locations.  I felt my blood go cold upon getting so close to this place, and I had the distinct feeling something was watching me, taking notice of my proximity.  I was standing outside, while my head was inside the opening, and I felt like I'd crossed a line that I shouldn't cross.  I took my head out, turned to look around me and the first thing I saw was this:

Scared the ever-luvin-crap out of me it did!

Even looking at this picture now, it makes my chest get a little tight.

I decided pretty much then and there that there wasn't any way in hell that I'd step foot further into the building, that I was just a sight see'er, not an infiltrator.  I would respect the boundaries of a visitor, and keep a safe distance from crossing any more lines.

Ann and I made our way around the perimeter of the building, taking pictures, imagining the internal layout of what we could only see from a distance.

We whispered as we made our way, remaining in-stealth mode so as not to alert any nearby humans or barking dogs of our presence here.

After we made our way around the entire lot, and were back to where we started, we thanked our lucky stars for the experience, for the thrill, for the success in finding it and we bid our farewells to the object of our quest.  We walked back towards the railroad tracks from whence we had strayed and just as we were about to get away scott free....

A voice called out to me.

"Hey!"

it said from behind me.

The building was behind me and I was scared to death at what I would find when I turned around.

Who or what had called out to me.

But i faced my fear and I turned....slowly...and my heart was pounding so hard in my chest...I think Ann could hear it from 3 feet away....

I turned to see two people walking towards us.  Dressed in head to toe camo, one carrying a compound bow.  The one carrying the bow, decked out in face paint.

Again they called out to us:

"Hey, come here"

I looked at Ann, and she looked at me as both our minds were saying "so, do we run?"

I said to her "I aint' going back there....."

and Ann said "they can come to us"

so we stood still like we were frozen to the ground.

I whispered, "you don't think they'll shoot us do you?"  I mean you hear of people shooting trespassers sometimes....

that's when Ann decided to be proactive, she called out to them, "See anything?"

They remained silent.

A bad sign.

They got closer, Ann tried again, "See anything?"

The man spoke then:  "Seen two girls"

Ann: "Oh yeah..."

Him:  "you two scared off a ten point buck we were about to shoot!"

Me: (knowing this was a cardinal sin in hunting to ruin a guy's odds at getting a great buck) said:  "oh, man we're so sorry!" and then i made a face like it pained me to hear that.

Ann says "Oh, yeah, right, we did hear something go crashing through the brush, yeah, I think I know right were you're talking"

"What are you guys doing back here?"  The man asked.

Ann replied, "Oh, just taking some fall photos, the trees are just so lovely this time of year..."

I stood frozen, my lying skills were seriously rusty and out of practice.

"You know that you're trespassing and can get three days in jail and a $300 dollar fine for being back here?"

Ann said "Noooooo...didn't know that"

I shook my head, still an absolute mute.

"well you can, you aren't supposed to be back here, this is private property"

"We didn't know" Ann said.

"do you own this land?" Ann asked him.

"Yes" he said.

I again made a very dramatic "I'm so sorry....about the deer, about trespassing, about lying to you right now"...face.

{But in our defense, there weren't any "no trespassing" signs until we got up near the building.....and it was spray painted on, so It wasn't like it was official....and we'd come so far, we had to, ya know?  Sort of how like guys can't stop peeing mid stream, once you've committed to the act, you can't just stop in the middle, it's just not done!}

"Leave!" the man said with authority

"and don't come back!"

Ann and I both nodded and turned to head back the way we had come.

We'd escaped certain jail time, and were once more headed through the trees, headed back to the railroad tracks that would deliver us back from where we'd come from.

"HOLY SHIT!" I said, "I can't believe that just happened...we so almost just got arrested!"

And Ann and I talked, and laughed, and recovered our senses as we journeyed back the two miles we'd traveled to get here.

{Me and Ann after our close encounter}
{Seriously, does this shadow make my butt look big?}

WHAT A CLOSE CALL!!

So Hunter guy, if you are reading this, I'm really sorry, we didn't mean any harm, or trouble, to you or your property, and I thank you sincerely, because my book will be the better for having had the experience.

And thank you for not having us arrested, and for not shooting us with your bow, that would of sucked.

So, that's the story of how I almost got arrested, and how it was almost all Ann's fault!

*winks*

But oh, what an experience!

Awesome!

Your Law Breaking Blogger Friend,

~HeatherLynn~

to see all the photo's from the day of photography, hit me up @ my facebook page, or at Turkey42@hotmail.com and I'll get you the link where you can go see them.
Some of them are pretty good.
*smiles*

This and That - October

Mmmmm...Fall is truly upon us isn't it?  Last weekend I went out and took some fall pictures, and man, let me tell you it, it really put me in the spirit for all things fall...Pumpkins, and frothy hot drinks, apple cider, corn mazes, Halloween, and last but not least, CANDY CORN!  that crap is just crazy good.  If I wind up with Diabetes, I blame the candy corn, that's all I'm saying! *smiles*

 

Last night, a funny conversation Jerimy and I had, thought might be cute to share....so there we are, laying in bed, lamp still on, on the night stand, he and I are just talking, we were getting all cozy and he feels my body temperature and says "geesh, you're freezing!" and I laughed and said, "I know, I was outside"...so I snuggled in closer to steal his body heat, and him, being the super awesome guy HE is, he let me.

 

I told him then "don't worry, give me a second and HeatherHeater will be back in business"....see, when I was a kid, Rachel and Bek, my two little cousins would get cold while staying over night with me and my sister Brooke, and they'd get into bed with me, and snuggle into both sides of me and say "HeatherHeater, warm us up!" Apparently I've had a "hot body" since childhood!  My, that sounds all sorts of wrong doesn't it?!  Let me rephrase, I've been "hot blooded"...no, wait, that's not exactly right either...how about this, I've been "HeatherHeater" for as far back as I can remember.  Get me under the covers with you and I'll have you sweating in no time. *slaps forehead*....wow, this post is spiraling out of control here!  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, Heather get it together would ya?....perhaps I'll use pictures, since my words are coming out all wrong...

here:

 

+

=

 



 

I've rebooted, lets try this again.

 

Back to the story....

 

So Jerimy says to me, "yeah, some nights, you're so hot I'm like melting, and have to kick the covers off in the middle of the night to cool off."

"Yeah, well this winter when it's freezing you're going to be pretty darn happy to have ole HeatherHeater here keeping you warm" I said with a smile and then continued on to say the following:

 

"I guess I'm kinda like an upstairs bedroom.  In the winter, heat rises, and you're toasty warm, and you're thankful to be up there, in the summer, heat rises and you're sweating your butt off, cursing the danged heat that just a few short months ago you were thankful for...having me for a girlfriend is a blessing and a curse I guess."

 

He crinkled his nose, laughed and shook his head and said "yeah, I got nuthin" and we snuggled back up, so I could steal his heat.

 

I thought to myself then, "Seriously?  Did I just compare myself to an upstairs bedroom?  I'm really not all there, this confirms it. Who compares themselves to an upstairs bedroom?"

 

And you know who else isn't all there?

 

My Friend Ann....who nearly got me arrested on Sunday....

Great photo shoot, and story to follow.

Stay tuned.

 

 

 

Welcome to October!

 

Hugs & Luv,

~HeatherLynn~

In Book News:  I'm cruising through the ending of "Book #3"....I should have that sucker "on the books finished"...or "facebook official finished" in no time!  woohooo!  Can't wait to see how it's all going to turn out.  You'd think as the Author I'd know by now, but it's crazy, I literally don't know exactly how it will end, until about five seconds before my fingers pound the keyboard and it appears before me on the screen....
Hope it comes out worthy of being written.